Southern Comfort Egg Nog


non-alcoholic means there's no excuse for the blurring

Southern Comfort Egg Nog

Appearance: Light yellow-brown with visible spice flecks. Neighbor Hilary, passing by, thought it looked gross – watch out for that if you’re serving guests.

Taste: Very smooth and mild. The overwhelming taste was of cream, with a slight nutty taste becoming apparent later. Really, incredibly mild. Really. It’s the Fred Rogers of egg nog.

Texture: Like drinking latex house paint. Very smooth, but perhaps a tiny bit disturbing to some. If you listen, you can hear your heart seize up.

Comments: Manufactured by the Eskimo Pie Corp (!). Real ingredients; milk, cream, eggs. Cream is high up there. Ultra-pasteurized. If I were trying to convert someone who didn’t like egg nog, I’d give them this. It’s really incredibly mild. Probably best when mixed with Southern Comfort, or for making a Mickey Finn.


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2 thoughts on “Southern Comfort Egg Nog

  1. Smooth and mild
    Is it Smooth and Mild like a Kool-brand menthol cigarette? Were you instantly transported to flavor country?

    Seriously, isn’t there some brand of cigarettes that advertises their smokes as being “smooth and mild”? Or is that every cigarette manufacturer?

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