Wilcox Old Fashioned Eggnog

Appearance: This one is pale yellow-beige. Beige. It’s like drinking a UNIX programmer. There are flecks.

Taste: Tastes like regular egg nog…MY GOD! There is an AFTERTASTE on this one. Like pounding down store brand fake vanilla, only not so wholesome. Wait. In this case, the fake vanilla analogy is wrong. Do you remember those balloons in a tube they used to sell, the little metal tubes full of noxious goo that would probably give you cancer that you stuck a straw in and blew into balls? Remember how that stuff smelled? That’s what the aftertaste is on this egg nog.

Texture: Nice. Sort of like the Umpqua Regular with a little palpable cream on it.

Comments: This is the brand they sell in the company store student cafeteria. It comes in 16 oz. plastic bottles, as does the same brand’s vanilla, chocolate, strawberry and 2% milk. I think they’re trying to make milk cool. It angers me slightly that they don’t have skim in the 16 oz. size, because other than egg nog and the occasional chocolate the only kind of milk I like is skim.

I would not pay money for this egg nog, but if I had extra points left over at the student store I would probably spring for it.

There is a dorm here called Wilcox Hall. It is not a particularly good dorm. This is not particularly good egg nog.