Aliens

Aliens. Everybody knows that aliens are going to come to Earth tonight. We don't know what they want to do, but some people are really worried. Some people aren't. I am worried, but Pop is very calm about it. As I am scrambling to barricade the doors and windows, Pop casually sharpens and oils his big Civil War officer's sword (I think), loads his shotgun, and then goes to sleep. I have a rusty machete and a dodgy-looking air rifle, but I am not going to let the damn aliens in.

Everyone else in the family is going to sleep, but I'm going to stay up and watch out for aliens. I'm dressed all in black and wearing my repro Stahlhelm. Gotta be prepared. Mom keeps me company for a while, then apologizes and yawns. She goes off to bed but I'm so nervous I couldn't even begin to think of sleeping. I sit on the concrete steps out front and watch the sky.

There's a streetlight outside our house, and it irks me. Shouldn't there be a blackout? I set down my weapons and look around for rocks or something. I find a big pile of concrete across the street and lob chunks of it at the streetlight. I do this for a while. It's really frustrating, but I can't seem to hit the streetlight. Finally, I shatter it, but I also pull a muscle in my arm. I was throwing left handed, though, so my other arm is fine.

I feel kind of stupid for spending so much time on that, while not keeping an eye out for aliens. Dammit. This is worse than pulling an all-nighter for a class. Down the street there are some other people on their lawns, watching the skies, but I don't want to go over and say hello and leave my house unguarded. I am relieved that other people care about this, though.

It's really late when the aliens show up. They have enormous, glowing, perfectly spherical heads and tall thin bodies that move as though the head were a balloon and the body drifting under it. Their heads have veins and big saucer eyes, but no other features. They're sort of greasy-looking, like the big puppet suits from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies. They sometimes move their arms languidly up to point at something. The aliens don't seem to interact with each other. It's like a bus full of Venusian tourists suddenly let out. They're all wearing the same outfit, too: a silvery tunic.

They're ignoring me, too. I decide to take this opportunity to run into the house. I've got the windows all shuttered up, so that only leaves the front and back doors to worry about. I run in the front and lock it, then go to lock the back. There are windows in each of the doors, and those are the only windows uncovered on the first story.

I stay inside for a while, trying to be quiet. Pop and Mom are asleep downstairs. Matie's room and mine are upstairs, and I briefly think about just going to bed. There are several dozen aliens sleepwalking around my yard, but they don't seem to be any immediate threat.

Then I realize that this is crazy talk. There are aliens, and I've got to kill them. That's just what's done.

I kick open the back door and shoot out at random. The cluster of aliens is so dense that I don't have to aim. I hit an alien in its gigantic head. Its expression doesn't change, but its head deflates. When it does, the body crumples to the ground. Maybe it is full of helium.

Killing one alien doesn't make the others angry. I don't think they even notice. I look out and see that the whole yard is just full of them. They're no threat, just an annoyance, like a heavy snowfall.

I put down the gun and pick up my machete. It's a lot like clearing the brush, but I do manage to cut a path through the floating aliens into the yard. They fill every space not already occupied by a car or a house or a tree. It's starting to get light out and these greasy moron aliens are all over the place like balloons in a tiny hospital room.

I feel really disappointed. This is going to be like yard work or something. I was expecting an invasion. Might as well get it done, though. I start popping alien heads around me again. It's like their feet are weighted or something -- they stay in place, even when there is space around them. They don't drift. It's still really annoying, though. Damn aliens all over the yard and the street.

Maybe they'll close the schools.