Stupid Old Ladies
This is a dream I had. In it I kill some old women. Bully for me.
I was in the yard, watering some rosebushes I'd just planted around the edges and some tulips I'd put in the middle. Everything was flowering already. I was pretty proud.
A group of six or seven old ladies in dowdy finery walked down the sidewalk, then just cut across the lawn, knocking down plants.
I got very, very angry at them. I yelled at them, saying it was no wonder the kids in this neighborhood were horrible and rude with examples like these women.
The old women looked disturbed, as though I shouldn't have been yelling at them for doing this damage, as though I should have ignored it. They kept walking on, pretending to ignore me.
This made me even madder, so I turned the hose on them. The flow increased as my anger did, and I knocked a couple down and soaked the rest. They started to sputter. One finally spoke up and told me that they had never met anyone so disrespectful.
I felt just like an action hero. I walked over so I was standing right over them and said, "Ever look in a mirror, oldtimer? What the hell did you think you were doing, walking all over my flowers?"
They started to say something, but I turned the hose on them again. One lost her wig, and it floated down the gentle slope of the alley into the gutter.
I started screaming incoherently about how I hated people who didn't pay attention and who thought they deserved special treatment just for being old.
The water pressure increased, and I saw layers of dead skin peel off the old women. Then came strips of living tissue, and the water ran pink with their blood. I aimed my hose at the nearest woman's head, and watched as the pressure gouged out her eyes. I held it closer to one of her eye sockets and brain oozed from the other eye and her ears.
It wasn't too long before they were all skeletal. I felt a lot better. I raked the bones into a pile in the alley, but then I decided the skulls looked cool. I piled them neatly on the roof of our hangar queen '57 Chevy to dry.
The tulips they had walked on were dead, but the rosebushes only needed to be replanted.