Another Brilliant Idea

I was making some macaroni and cheese the other day, even though it's a big hassle for me.

Don't get me wrong, though. Packaged macaroni and cheese is really the common denominator of meal preparation, and I'm not saying I can't make a tasty pot of it with my eyes closed. There's only one person I know who has trouble with boiling water and adding noodles, and in that case it's a symptom of a greater failure to comprehend things in general. I have no problems with macaroni and cheese.

Except that I do. See, about 50% of the food I eat meets up with my electric kettle at some point in the preparation process. It'd be an even greater percentage if I weren't so lazy as to eat ramen raw, by the dehydrated brick. Unfortunately, someone designed my electric kettle with no clue as to its intended usage. It's the kind of kettle with a big lid; one of the selling points was that not only could one heat water to add to things, one could also add things to water and then heat them. It works well; it even has a little temperature control. I've made hardboiled eggs in it. I like eggs.

The big problem, which I keep alluding to, waits until the end of the cooking process. The heating element, for reasons unknown to me, is nearly exposed on the bottom of the pan, making it impossible to clean completely. No matter how hard I scrub, stuff gets stuck under the element. I'll make macaroni and cheese, then three days later a chunk of dried cheese and starch will surface in my tea. It's unpleasant.

But it got me to thinking, as I swore off making anything that actually had to go in the kettle. The main reason I make macaroni and cheese is because I love the cheese sauce. I have purchased packets of the cheese sauce alone (although not made by Kraft) and added them to potatoes or rice to great success. Instant, radioactive-orange cheese sauce is a wonderful addition to any bland food, making it not less bland yet somehow more toothsome.

Once again, the Kraft macaroni and cheese division is missing a lucrative opportunity. (Their continued refusal to make a just-add-boiling-water macaroni-in-a-cup has previously irked me.) Why don't they sell a big tub of cheese sauce powder for just this sort of occasion? It could come with a little plastic scoop, so people could make however much cheese sauce they needed. I'd buy some.

If you think that's my brilliant idea, though, just wait.

I was thinking about other things that came in silvered cardboard tubs with dinky plastic scoops, and I could only think of Tang and hot cocoa mix. It occurred to me that there's no reason a thinned version of Kraft cheese sauce couldn't be a delicious warm beverage. Hot beverages don't have to be sweet - witness bouillon's continuing popularity. Cheese is also a filling flavor and certainly would fit in the realm of comfort foods for cold, lonely days. The step from having big tubs of cheese mix to having big tubs of cheese drink mix is a very small one.

But the first step still has to be taken, and Kraft Foods, in all their wisdom, doesn't seem to think the American public is ready for an all-cheese powder product. Giant faceless corporations should not be allowed to dictate our food preferences, America, regardless of how tasty their fake cheese sauce mix may be. I say we support the first company to make such a product, and hope the big companies learn from their mistakes!