I Hate My Chemistry Professor

Dumb people suck. That's what Sarah says and I agree with her. Sarahs must think alike. [Spider's slave name is Sarah -- ed.] What's worse than dumb people is dumb people who think they're smarter than you are. Especially when you need something from them.

Teachers are good people. They teach things and spread wisdom, or short of that, at least a little knowledge here and there. At least, they should and that's why DUMB PEOPLE SHOULD NOT BE TEACHERS.

I have a chemistry "professor" who is one of the most stupid people I've encountered here. I can't believe that he's working for the University. He's retired and I think they're humoring him. He likes to say that when he took chemistry there were only four elements. I don't think that's funny.

He starts problems in front of the class that are out of his 20-year-old notes and can't finish them because he can't figure them out. Then he skips that section of the book. He thinks he's being funny when we laugh, but we're not laughing with him. He likes to tell "war stories" (read: inapplicable and completely irrelevant anecdotes that only confuse or bore people) about when he was taking chemistry, in college, during the war, his truck, etc.

I?m not all that impatient. Although dumb people suck, I can deal. Then he came and talked to me during break today:

"Are you going to go return that library book?"

I had been reading during class to keep myself awake and conscious. There's nothing else in that class that's in the least bit entertaining -- not even any cute guys.

"Um, no."

It was an odd thing to say but he's not the brightest of fools.

"Well, what I'm trying to say is that I don't think you should be reading in class and I think you need to return your book."

What-the-fuck-ever! I've never been told by a teacher to do anything like that.

"No, I think I'm going to go renew it now." (smile)

After coming back from the library I stopped by his office on my way back to class. He was sitting in front of his computer staring at it. Perhaps the screen saver had come on and he thought it wasn't working anymore.

"Listen, I didn't mean to offend you by reading during class or anything and if it bothers you, I'll stop. I can understand that. Perhaps you could give me some extra math problems or something to keep myself occupied. Like I said, I don't want to offend you. It's not my intention."

The dumb-shit couldn't look me in the eye. (I can't stand people like that -- they have spines I could put my hand through.)

"Oh, no, that's perfectly all right. You can read, that's fine. It doesn't offend me at all. I'm just worried that you're not going to be able to understand all the material."

Oh, yeah, right. I have just finished an entire year's worth of general chemistry with him. In his basic math class today we were doing conversions to the metric system from standard. Pardon me if I'm not sitting with baited breath, hanging on his every word.

Tomorrow is another day of the same stuff. Perhaps I'll bring my Gameboy or Walkman or something like it if he doesn't want me to read, although the book is a good one -- The Dancing Wu Li Masters. I definitely recommend it.

The moral of the story is DUMB PEOPLE SUCK.