By: Annna
[2000-10-26]
Brilliant Movie Idea
Everybody loves razors!
Okay, so you know how a lot of older houses have slots in the medicine cabinets for razor disposal? They don't lead into the razor blade dimension or even to the basement; the razor blades stay in the walls for eternity. This isn't usually a problem for houses, but there are a lot of old hotels whose walls are absolutely stuffed full of ancient, rusty razor blades.
So here's my idea for a great sequence in an action movie:
A scientist/spy/guy with a secret is on the run. He writes something really important on a piece of paper - no, wait, maybe he has some microfiche. Anyway, so he's got this envelope with something important in it. He's on the run, so he's in a run-down, old hotel. He hears a knock on the door and panics - he can't have this information, or maybe he just can't let it fall into the wrong hands. Toilet won't work, trash is too obvious. He jams it into the razor disposal slot as the door is kicked in.
As he does this, we cut to a cutaway side view of the room, then tilt down to the room directly below, one or two stories down. In this room, our hero (or a really suave villain) is standing directly below the first guy. He's tilting his head up, trying to picture what's going on upstairs. As the scientist guy is being dragged away or shot or something, our hero has to act fast.
He punches the wall right above the sink really hard, then punches it again. Maybe he kicks it, if he's some kind of martial arts guy. The sink kind of breaks and water starts spraying everywhere, but it's only a couple more kicks before the old, thin wall breaks open and rust-spotted razor blades start
pouring in. They quickly fill the sink and start pouring onto the floor. If the sink was spraying water, it's rusty and diffused now.
The razors form a pretty big pile, at least enough to form a stack covering the sink. The flow stops and our hero looks a little disappointed, a little expectant. After a second, something flutters down through the hole.
Now would be a good time to cut to a shot from inside the wall. Our hero reaches in with a smile, unless he doesn't smile, and gets the document or microfilm.
I don't have the rest of this movie thought out, but if you're a director whose movie is two minutes too short, let me know. I'm reasonable.
Very detailed, and I've always
been curious about that slot in
the cabinet, myself. I first saw
a serious version of the scene,
then a comedic Peter Sellers
version, so it's a good idea
because it's flexible. There's
now a method to store a lot of
info on a single atom by sequencing
the quantum shell jump, the atom
can "remember" as a binary string.
Theoretically, the whole Library
of Congress can be stored on one
atom shell. This might make for
a comic scene, the hero/heroine
on hands and knees combing through
a shag carpet with their fingers,
their foil enters: "Lose a contact?"
Agent X-13: "No! I dropped my atom!"
It's a great idea for a movie sceen, and we're going to need a ton more since everyone is going to live forever. It's going to get pretty boring watching the same old re-runs of "Better Off Dead."
i saw a movie like that already. well, not exactly. the hero wasn't smiling, and there was no microfiche. wait, there wasn't any hero either. but there were razors! it went like this, see. there was a guy trapped in a house. but the house was all crazy with narrow passage ways and crap. there was one passage way that was only about 14 inches thick. i'm guessing here, i'm not sure how thick it actually was. all along the walls on either side were hundreds of razor blades. sticking pointy side out. maybe every 5 or 6 inches from the top of the wall to the bottom for a length of 6 to 10 feet. the point was that if you were REALLY careful you could walk sideways, step by step, and not get all cut up. but in the final climactic scene some guy has to walk sideways though the passageway but he is also being chased by rabid, sack biting dogs with a lust for the blood of guys that are running away from them.
thats a bad situation to be in. by the way, i'll be posting a dream i had where i was interviewing steve tyler, and then jewel. does any one have a preference as to which interview they'd like to see? i personally don't care. i hate jewel and steve tyler about the same.
Buzz McCoy
yeah so. i apologize in advance for my flooding of this wonderful article by anna with my inane comments. however. do any of you folks watch the show, 'Strangers with Candy'? it used to be on comedy central. well, anywayz. speaking of razors... in the episode where jerry blanks decides to become a virgin again, she is sitting at a lunch table saying something like
"...and the pounding jackhammer action as you straddle a beer soaked pool table grasping for leverage..."
etc, etc, etc, and her virgin friend goes:
"jerry! are you thinking about sex already?!?"
jerry replies:
"does a pimp carry a razor?"
virgin says:
"....i don't know"
jerry goes:
"BELIEVE me, they ALWAYS do..."
i think thats going to replace "does the pope shit in the woods?" as far as my affirmative reply to morons go...
Buzz McCoy
Hey, easy money!
I think that "affirmative
reply to morons" is the singular
case, third personage,
so it would be "goes"
Do I get a prize?
Anyway, when will the Pope
carry a razor and the pimps
shit in the woods? Maybe the
Pope could shave His butt
and walk backwards to New Orleans,
while the pimps do the boogy-woogy
on the corner of the street.
Thesis, antithesis, synthesis
Three-part harmony grits
Smelling like a French tout's
silk scarf with seven knots
counted like Pigalle rosary beads
I decided to celebrate my acquisition of a DVD-ROM drive by renting a DVD last night. My first ever.
I rented "American Pimp," a movie I'd wanted to see when in theaters but missed. Anyway, it's a documentary on pimps, and it's just as good as you'd expect it to be. Even better. Way better.
I now know that pimps is God's folk. I want to be a pimp, or at least dress and talk like one.
Excuse me. I mean, "or at least talk like one, MOTHERFUCKER."
Iceberg Slim wrote a couple
of books about "The Life."
"Iceberg Slim," "The Long
White Con," and "Airtight
Willie and Me." Every year,
there is a Mack Convention
in Chicago, and there's a Hooker's
Ball, too. There are some
websites for the Hooker's Ball,
great costumes!
...but really making new films is silly and expensive what you need to do is re-work old films to include razors
such as "to kill a mockinbird (with a razor)"
Gregory peck could razorslash the rabid dog instead of shooting it!
This movie involves most of the past movie "serial killers' such as Jason,Micheal Myers,and Puppetmasters and many more. The movie starts as a camping trip father,son,and daughter they are killed.The next act is girlfriend boyfriend.Girlfriend watching the news about t6he killings the she looks out of the window,she saw the killers coming out of the ground.She siad they're back,her boyfriend said whose back.Email me for the rest.
This movie involves most of the past movie "serial killers' such as Jason,Micheal Myers,and Puppetmasters and many more. The movie starts as a camping trip father,son,and daughter they are killed.The next act is girlfriend boyfriend.Girlfriend watching the news about the killings the she looks out of the window,she saw the killers coming out of the ground.She siad they're back,her boyfriend said whose back.Email me for the rest.
