Things On Hand

So, anyway, here's some stuff I had lying around but never got around to using. Expect a real update Saturday, after the scavenger hunt, or alternatively whenever webmaster Sean or our loyal readers get around to writing something.

Matie: Zombies do it....

...with fiendish, mindless persistence.

...until they collapse into a heap of bone and rotted flesh.

...until you shoot them in the head. (my favorite)

...until you destroy their brains. (my other favorite)


I got plastic skulls! Matie got plastic skulls! Pop seems to have gotten a really good deal on plastic skulls!


So how do you guys think society might be different had the joy of Pokey been spread more widely and accepted by more people?

I visualize a world like our own, but with more love and kindness, as well as more savage beatings in the wee hours of the morning.

9-foot-tall crime-fighting robots would rule it, but they wouldn't be able to stop the beatings. The crime-fighting robots would be too busy killing the zombies as they rose from their unhallowed graves, eager to feast on the flesh of the living.

The beatings would arise from frustrated civilians and the friction between them, as they rushed home to obey the robot-enforced curfew.

Zombies, robots, savage beatings for everyone. Paste-on bikinis for the women, and clamp-on bikinis for the men.

I have spoken!


I need some chain mail. People see you wearing mail, out walking around, they know you're SERIOUS. At the mall, in class, at the library, engaging in fantasy medieval combat, chain mail makes a damn STATEMENT.


I am enjoying my 10-day seminar.

DAY ONE: Human bones
DAY TWO: All about monkeys
DAY THREE: Monkey bones, more monkeys

All this class needs is some live monkeys or apes and it would be the best class ever.


"The minions" always implies, to me, well-trained and fanatically loyal devotees. You're thinking of either the rabble or the puny humans.


To Matie, on getting a new English teacher mid-year:
Show up in black clothing, thick pancake makeup and eyeliner and hand him a thick sheaf of papers with fountain pen writing in magenta ink. Do not break eye contact first. When he reads them, he finds that they are all dirty limericks. Ask him what he thinks of "the expression of my DARK MUSE."


If my name were Bernard I would demand that people call me "Bernie, hard and hand-linked." Actually, if my name were Bernard I would be having serious gender issues right now.


If you glue 20 d4s together, you can make a big d20. Pictures to come.


On the Internet, spelling reasonably well and using the right "its" is equivalent to an 18 Appearance.


I really should sign more things in blood. I need to get a fountain pen and STAB IT INTO MY FOREARM whenever I have to sign stuff. It'd be extra cool because fountain pen doesn't work with carbon paper, but they wouldn't dare ask me to sign again.


To Matie, again:
We need to be in constant satellite uplink when I go through game stores:

"Delta Leader, this is Roving Condor. There's a stack of dog-eared supplements in the NE corner marked 'half off.' Investigating on foot. Over."

"Roving Condor, what's the breakdown? Over."

"Looks like they're all Masterbook and Palladium. Abandoning search...wait! I've hit a vein of Call of Cthulhu adventures! My god, they're [garbled]"

[static]

[silence]

"Report!

Roving Condor, report!

Roving Condor, this is Delta Leader. Where are you?"

"Oh, yeah. I forgot about the uplink thing. Hey, this book has a scenario where everyone is a tribal fisherman and you have to defeat Ubbo-Sathla using a Cray supercomputer. Cool."


I refuse to get sick. I'm loading up on vitamin C and PURE HATE. Yes.


"Class is in an hour and this paper is DUE...man, Dune was one fine movie. I should look online for .wav files of the Baron Harkonnen."


http://www.cybertown.com/colonies/apartm74.html

Yeah, that's the kind of building I live in. Various dorks and losers and YIG, FATHER OF SERPENTS.

I like how he's very articulate about it.

Praise Yig!