By: Matie [2000-11-19]

Crappy Haiku

Cherry blossoms fall.

I wrote all these in Statistics. It is the easiest math class I've had since I memorized the multiplication table the first month of third grade and spent the rest of the year playing The Fraction Game.

My teacher, Mr. Rupp, is the head of the Christian Athlete's club at SMHS; needless to say he is a dumbass. He has neither taught Statistics nor an A.P. class before, so he is pretty much learning it all along with us. Unfortunately, he learns slower than about half the class.

This half uses the time he spends demonstrating how to add up rows and columns in two-way tables for reading, breaking their minehunt high scores, and writing crappy haiku. The other, stupider half of the class is made up almost entirely of the girls' volleyball team, a group of hateful women with whom I have several classes. They ask painfully stupid questions which Jesus-boy is more than happy to answer, as it makes him feel smarter.

Anyway, here are my haiku. I hope I haven't built them up too much.

My eyes on the overhead
Too warm not to sleep
Statistics oppresses me

Froot-Loop necklace growing stale
Candy colors fade
Artificial wholesomeness

Always explanatory
Silly Mr. Rupp
Time takes me away from here.

(Mr. Rupp was trying to make a graph with time as the dependent variable. Dumbass.)

Logarithmic regression
Exponential - wait
Far too many syllables

The answer is obvious
Wasting precious time
Destroy the volleyball team

Meaningless note-taking now
Anal retention
Pedantic self-importance

I hope that wasn't too painful. If statistics doesn't get interesting I'll probably have more to send you. Yes, that is a threat.
Stats [2000-11-19 05:22:46] König Prüß, GfbAEV
"There are three kinds of lies:
Lies, Damn Lies, and Statistics"
--variously attributed to either
Mark Twain or Disraeli
We used SPSS in "Statistical
Regression Analysis," and
"Quantitative Methods in
International Relations"
You can get free copies
of back editions of SPSS
from the 'Net. It'll generate
hundreds of pages of print-out
with which one can intimidate
the unwary. Properly speaking,
statistics involve only number
samples. Sports announcers will
say, "Let's look at the
statistics." But they are looking
at raw data numbers, not samples.
In Forest Park in Portland,
people would write haiku
on strips of brown paper
and hang them with string
from the tree branches,
wind poems.
Haiku Good, not Crappy [2000-11-19 12:26:21] Darin
I liked it. Especially, "(Mr. Rupp was trying to make a graph with time as the dependent variable. Dumbass.)" Cheered me up on an otherwise cold day.
haiku [2000-11-19 17:53:34] König Prüß, GfbAEV
I like sushi fine
but it's no damn wonder that
Japs lost WWII
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