Speaking as a Pirate, I am Displeased

As a piratical lass, I am displeased by these modern kids and their crazy sexual innuendoes.

I was taking the trash and the recycling to the trash room in the basement, because I'm the only person around here who ever takes the trash out or vacuums or anything. As is my wont, I peeked through the various Dumpsters and paper bins, checking to see if anyone threw out anything cool.

Usually, nobody has. Once I found a large amount of shower curtains still in their shrink-wrap, and another time I found Japanese books, and another time I found a videocassette of sports bloopers.

I don't dig through trash, mind. I just check if anything cool is on top.

Anyway, this time I happened to find a huge stack of 3.5" disks. Since I still use those, I snatched 'em up. In the paper recycling, I found a large sheaf of untouched college rule notebook paper and a stack of envelopes.

Weird. I guess someone just went paperless and got a Zip drive.

Anyway, I threw my stuff out and took my finds upstairs, where one of my hallmates asked how I was doing.

"Arr!" I exclaimed, "On my basement expedition, I have gotten much booty!"

I think you can see where that went. Anyway, I'm annoyed that I can only refer to my spoil, my treasure, my plunder, my loot, my ill-gotten gains and my swag. I wanna call things booty!

Still no sympathy for the people who whine about homosexuals co-opting the word "gay," though. Arr! Nancy-boys!