By: Karroll [2001-03-07]

You've Come a Short Way Baby

You may think this will be another whiny diatribe about how badly women are still treated by men, and you'd be right.

You may think this will be another whiny diatribe about how badly women are still treated by men, and you'd be right. Take for instance my experience in a hardware store awhile back.

Something happened to the metal thingy at the end of my garden hose and being handy, I knew it could be replaced at the hardware store. Just what happened to it, I don't remember. This probably happened last week. I don't remember that either. I probably ran over it with the car.

Anyway, I had ten minutes to spare, so took myself down to the hardware store. I should have known when the man behind the counter looked at me as if I couldn't read the sign on the door: No Shoes, No Shirt, No Women, No Service. I politely asked where I could find the metal thingy that goes on the end of a garden hose. Smugly and snidely he asked, "Is it a half-inch or 3/4-inch hose." That stopped me. I figured a garden hose was a garden hose. He knew he had me. After stalling as long as I could, about 2 minutes, I guessed, "3/4 inch - or maybe half-inch. What's the standard?" With a long obnoxious sigh, "There is no standard. Is it 3/4 inch or half-inch?" he asked again impatiently, as if I were keeping him from his other customers with my foolishness. (There was no one else in the store.)

Knowing I'd have to make a decision or lose face, I boldly said, "3/4 inch." Then he had the utter gall to ask me, "Is that the female end or the male end?"

"W-w-w-hat?", I stuttered. He just smiled an evil smile. I slinked off and left the store, trying not to let the little bell ring, emphasizing my humiliation..

Well, on the way home I got really mad! Who does he think he is, anyway? Deciding on a plan of action, I pulled into my driveway and without turning off the motor, loaded up the stinkin' garden hose and hied (I've always wanted to use that word) back to this Nazi male enclave. I unloaded the filthy, muddy thing and burst back into the store, throwing it clumsily at his feet. "This is the hose, you dipshit! Is it 3/4 inch or half inch?" I decided not to bring up the male/female thing. Without even looking at it, of course, he found the right part and led me back to the check-out stand.

He began to ring it up so I steeled myself for the next question. "Where I can find the little metal round thingy that you tighten up to hold it on the hose?" I actually thought he'd be impressed with my knowledge that one needed that sort of thing. He ostentatiously cancelled the sale (once again trying to impress on me that there would actually be other customers he'd have to check out before this transaction was over). This time he didn't ask me anything about gender, but brought back the part I needed and slammed it on the counter. We successfully completed the sale and I cumbersomely wrestled my garden hose out of there with as much dignity as I could muster. He smiled superiorly while it took me about 10 minutes to get out. End of dignity. End of story.

But, while I'm on the subject, have you noticed that most of the items in hardware stores don't have names - besides thingy? Or if they do, there is a conspiracy of silence as to what they are? Tell me boys, is this something you learn at your daddy's knee? ("Whatever you do, son, don't tell women that this is called an elbow joint - let them go in and embarrass themselves by asking for the curved thingy that goes on the end of a pipe.") The same applies to tools. There is a ballpeen hammer, a carpenter's hammer, a tack hammer, and for all I know, a serial killer's hammer. Do they tell you not to explain this to the other half of the human population? After all, the next thing we might want to know is how they talk about women when they get together in bars. Little do they know, I don't even want to hear that!

Well, I fantasize about owning a sewing machine store. I fantasize that this man will come in one day and ask for a sewing machine needle. In my glory and with great glee, I will ask him, "Do you want a 8/60, 10/70, 12/80, 16/100 or 18/110?" He'll stand there simulating a macho posture and guess, "10/70". Then, I'll grin, "Do you want a Ball Point, Universal, Denim Sharp, or Top-Stitch." Now he'll be on the ropes. I'll know I've got him when I inquire, "Is it for a Low Shank, Singer Slant, or Viking?" while I'm following him out the door witnessing his utter defeat.

But, I know this is only a dream. I'll never have a sewing machine store. He will never come in. He is probably married and will make his wife come in. Poor girl!
Girls in the Man's World [2001-03-06 22:58:52] Clockwork
I've never been one to do "girlie things," i.e. wearing makeup for no reason, wearing short skirts unless I had someone to impress... My mother, at one point, took me to a counselor, saying that I had "serious gender issues." Perhaps I do.
Gender issues non-withstanding, I believe one need not be male to enjoy "male things." You know, like a good cigar and a good bourbon, or a good Hustler magazine, or a good custom job on a car. Aah, cars. Cars, like hardware stores, are filled with obscurely-named parts.
My father taught me to change a tire when I first learned to drive. Back then it was difficult, as I was a small, puny fifteen-year-old thing, and it was before the days of my hardcore-drug-induced strength. I also thought that knowing how to change a tire would never, ever come in handy.
I was wrong. I took a few friends of mine to see some metal show, I don't remember who it was, as it wasn't particularly memorable. Upon leaving the show, I found the right-rear tire of my Monte Carlo ( a custom car, I might add... ) had been slashed by some drunken metalhead. "Ugh," I said. Neither of my male companions offered to help... the one other chick that was with us looked completely baffled. So I changed the tire myself, with a great amount of grunting and struggling and generally being too small to change a nearly-racecar-proportioned tire. I gained many, many testosterone points that night.
Another thing about cars... Men who work in car-parts stores are generally rather impressed when women walk in and ask for transmission parts by their proper names, or can say something like:
"I need a PCV valve for a ."
The small triumphs of being an Honorary Guy.
Hmm... [2001-03-06 23:05:44] Clockwork
I forgot about the funkiness of HTML and angle brackets...
It should have been something like, "I need a PCV valve for an (insert make, model and year of car).
Bona fide male with no understanding of tools/hardware [2001-03-07 01:10:03] Wimpy Man Who is Not Gay
On turning a screw, I must chant a mantra in my tool declined little mind,
"Righty tighty, lefty Lucy". This does not generally work at first but
after stripping the screw a bit, I find the proper direction to turn it. Then,
I happily take apart some non-functional item which will never be returned to
its original whole state.
As a man, I am often expected to comment on the working state of complicated
machinery. I like to say a few words that make it seem like I know more than
I do. When I have other men fix my automobile, I make sure to throw in a few
car terms that I've heard before. "Maybe it's the manifold"
I will say or "It sure seems like a fuel injection problem".

The mechanic will hopefully get the impression that I have actually opened the
hood in my life. Then he won't treat me like an idiot and he might not overcharge
me as much. And later when the mechanic says "Your deframbulator is not
splinking at the right torque. You need a new one."
I can fake a look of comprehension and say, "Oh yeah. That makes sense.
I would replace it myself but since I'm already here it'll be faster if you
do it."
auto parts stores [2001-03-07 01:12:35] mom
I have always believed that the cruelest form of torture in a marriage is when the car fixing husband sends his clueless wife to the auto parts store. Indeed, being sent to the auto parts store by your husband should be grounds for divorce.
Womanly revenge. [2001-03-07 01:40:07] Clockwork
Of course, if your husband sends you to the auto-parts store, you can always exact revenge by ordering him out to the druggist to pick you up a box of tampons and a bottle of Pamprin...
Like a fruit salad of tension [2001-03-07 01:47:21] Vicarious
That doesn't always work, you know. Some guys get off on buying things like that...
Testosterone [2001-03-07 01:48:58] König Prüß, GfbAEV
I recently saw a Las Vegas
tourism ad on TeeVee:
A mom sez to her daughter:
"There's too much testosterone
in this house! Let's go to
Las Vegas!" Ha! Vegas:
The City That Testosterone
Built! I went to one of those
Mega-Sooper Home Depot Stores
to get a small, machined metal
thingy, and when I showed it
to the clerk stating that I
wanted some of these like this
one, the clerk said that I should
go to a hardware store. But I think
that the decline of civility has
grown beyond just French waiters
and that most service people seem
to think that one will tip them
or buy their product regardless
of quality of service. In California,
the chicks used to ask what a guy
did for a living, and interpolate
income; now they just come right
out and ask, "How much you make?
Six-figures is their battle cry.
So, let's go to Vegas and blow
the old man's cash...I guess that's
the testoserone part. Either that
or Wayne Newton.
Enclaves [2001-03-07 02:09:02] DeWalt Russ
The hardware store is among the few centers of power for the cult of the self-sufficent male. No longer is it necessary for them to hew hospitable homesteads from the unforgiving wilderness. No longer must they depend on gumption and elbow grease to keep their Flivvers running through that tough time when the WPA wasn't hiring. The father's role as utile hero essentially ends with prosperity. Convenience precludes manual labor when there is money to burn. But that compulsion towards mechanical aptitude seems to hang in the consciousness of a good many men. Kind of like a vestigial tail.

But this imposing, proud male figure, like many other regimentalized family roles, has become less and less relevant with the advent of affluence and convenience. This shift in the facts of domestic existence has really only occurred in the post-war period, and so many fathers still bear the impression left by their own fathers in tougher times.

Who knows? Maybe they identify with the traditionalized emblems of beseiged American masculinity--Davy Crockett, Jim Bowie, King Kong--and are consequently putting up a romantic last stand. Of course, MY local Hardware store used to be a Safeway, not an old mission. But perhaps you're his Santa Ana, come to permanently displace his kind.

Or perhaps he's just a snotnosed asshole whose menial job at a hardware store makes him misanthropic and vile.

Didn't Susan Faludi have something to say about this? I dunno.
Tool stuff [2001-03-07 13:35:33] Chip
Gee you make a good point I mean so one should really write a book about how to fix things with the names of parts and tools in it....Oh wait no there are about a million books about how to fix things and all of them have the names of the tools and equipment you need to buy. geeze strech beyond social ideas of feminity and go pick up a time life book or something. It seems like the hardware store man has more to hate here. I mean you probably would have been even more pissed if he sold you the wrong part, no reason to insult the man just because your ignorant of what you want to buy; civility is the glue of society
Women and sissies [2001-03-07 19:25:16] Sean
The source of the man at the hardware store's superior attitude may not have been because you're a woman, but rather because you are the kind of person who refers to the part she's looking for as a "thingy." I know, because that's what I would have called it too, and I I've always felt unwelcome in hardware stores, auto parts stores, and any other kind of store where it's unfashionable to be a big sissy like myself.

I'm pretty sure that's the reason, anyway. Nobody mistakes me for a woman anymore except for small children (though a small child probably could run a hardware store).

I never got the tools-and-hardware talk from my father. I guess he figured I'd learn it on the street from my friends, the same way I learned that you can't get AIDs from someone if they look clean, and crack was invented by the CIA.

I didn't know there were two types of garden hoses either. If the guy was nice, he would have just sold you what he thought you most likely needed and said to bring it back if it was the wrong part. If he was a good capitalist, he wouldn't have even cared about selling you the wrong part. Since he's obviously not, I recommend you burn his commie establishment to the ground.

Did you really call him a dipshit? That's pretty cool.
Huh? [2001-03-07 19:29:14] Pop
Why is it that whenever a woman is abused by a white male it's because she's a woman and because he's a white male?

Why is it that whenever a black person is abused by a white male it's because he/she's a black person and because he's a white male?

Consider this: White men treat each other like crap too. It helps if you speak the same language, though.
[2001-03-07 20:27:56] anonymous coward
Hey, tell us about how much you hate Mondays!
hmm [2001-03-07 21:00:35] Halcyon
Sewing... you don't use the metric system in that, do you? You should know how big an inch is, right?
Also, you realize, of course, that his asking you about the "female or male end" wasn't some derogitory comment but a valid question, right? I'd draw you a picture, but we can probably leave that up to Annna's mother, I think she's more qualified. I mean, you have atleast realized that both ends of a hose are NOT the same? Otherwise you wouldn't be able to connect 2 hoses together.
Mondays. [2001-03-07 21:40:49] Clockwork
Actually, I don't hate Mondays. I do, however, hate Sunday evenings. For me, they're filled with the dread, and loathsome feeling that the next day is Monday. After that, Monday mornings are almost a relief.
I also dislike the Thursday between pay-days. It's almost as if my body expects there to be that magical envelope in my mailbox, and gets miffed if there's nothing to tear open. Granted, my paychecks aren't that spectacular, but still... there's something to be said for the satisfaction of opening an envelope that contains money.
Patronizing the Patrons [2001-03-07 23:15:33] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Well, the clerk might have
asked, "Does it look like
this, or like this?" But
tried not to sound patronizing.
Sometimes, if ppl see
what they are looking for,
they can say, "Yeah!
That's it!" A good
salesperson would have
sold a new hose! And
a bunch of junk that
you didn't know you needed!
clerkery [2001-03-08 03:04:43] staniel
Radio Shack propagandists would say, "that's the difference between a clerk and a salesperson!" that got old really quick. the effort is NOT worth the tiny amount of extra money it yields, which it doesn't even always do. my mantra was "get the name and address so the management doesn't yell at you, and sell the right thing so they don't come back to return it, which would take up more of your time." the guy was a little rude, sure, but who's to say he was sexist? certainly, sexism is gross and should not be tolerated where it exists, but it also should not be looked for where it does not, or used as an excuse to get offended. I was only rude to people who were rude to me, for the most part, but everyone has bad days. Karroll needs to not take things so personally.
HAIL TO THE ADVOCATE O' THE DEVIL!! [2001-04-01 16:04:57] Goebel
You thought it was wrong that the clerk lumped you in as a brainless woman? Wouldn't it also be wrong TO LUMP EVERY MALE INTO THE SAME GROUP! Just sayin. Also I don't know how to use a hose or how to sew but I do know computers. And when I speak about computers my victims will go and pick up their hoses and throw it on the floor and call me a "dipshit." What I am getting at is that the clerk knew alot about hoses so he did was unable to simplfy it.
Women and Sissies... [2003-07-21 17:21:00] Jesus Christ
Please stay out of the hardware and auto parts stores. If you get offended when asking if you need the male end or the female end of the hose you have no business wasting the man's time. Call me, and I'll fix whatever it is that needs fixing for three times the price that should be charged.
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