By: Annna
[2001-03-19]
Mnemonics for the Peeps
after a false start, ends up being about astronomy
As our 12 regulars and all you websearchers out there looking for "nude superheroes" (Yes,
nude superheroes. Maybe even those of you looking for
naked superheroes, or those of you misspelling the plural as
nude superheros.) know, thingsihate.org is all about giving back to the people.
Actually, I just made that up. I don't really think this website has made a positive impact on anyone's life, although this weekend in my personal life I just found a guy's wallet in the library right before closing and delivered it to his house. And a few months ago
this article convinced poor Benjamin White to dress as Farmer Maggot from
Angband for a party.
Anyway, this is a new direction for thingsihate.org. A little while ago, in between getting hits from misguided Google searches for
nude+superheroes and
croatian+porn and
croatian+hard+core+porn, we got one lonely little referral from someone looking for "planets+mnemonic." All they got was
this, a story about me going to the planetarium and why the mnemonic I grew up with -
Mother Very Easily Made a Jam Sandwich Using No Peanuts
- was superior to the one the planetarium guy used -
My Video Eye May Just Show Us Nine Planets
- because mine mentioned the asteroid belt and also it
made sense.
This is clearly inadequate. There need to be more, many more mnemonic devices for the order of the nine planets and the asteroid belt, and I've taken it upon myself to write some. Enjoy.
Monkeys View Every Man as Just Some Un-Neighborly Pirate
My Vengeful Eye Makes all Just Subjects Under Necessary Punishment
Many Vaunted Empires Made a Judgement So Unpleasant Need Paying
Mark Vegan Entrees Managed, and Just Send Us Nice Potatoes
Make Various Entrees, Make a Just Selection Under No Pressure
My Versatile Elven Monks aren't Just Some Underpowered Neutral Paladins
Many View Economic Marxism as Just Some Unusual New Plan
My Vampire Expert Makes a Juicy Steak Using Naked Punnery
No need to thank me; I'm just doing my part to advance the science of astronomy.
Your Dear, Dear Friend
I wouldn't be so hasty to blow off the planetarium guy's mnemonic. I sort of like the image I get when I think about a planetarium worker having a video eye. I'm picturing a thin, frail man with a button-up shirt and pocket protector, except he's lost half of his head in a cannon accident and now one side of it is made of shiny metal like the terminator, complete with robotic eye. The eye, as the fellow says, MAY just show us nine planets, but then again it may not. You see, he really has no control over his video eye. He also has no control over his cyber-matic left arm (oh yeah, he lost the entire left hand side of his body in the cannon accident), which has demonstrated its ability to crush the average school child like an insect on more than one occasion.
Also it makes me think of TV Eye by the Stooges.
As long as he's a planetarium guy, why couldn't it have been a planetarium projector accident? That thing's huge; it could have malfunctioned and started spinning wildly, making years' worth of skies pass in minutes.
The guy knew that someone had to stop it, to save a busload of bored 10-year-olds, so he blindly strode into its frenzied path. His head must have exploded like a cantaloupe, but broken bits of the planetarium projector stopped the bleeding and filled the spaces in between the missing synapses, bloody chunks of thought. Now he is part planetarium projector and part man, something greater than both but left with only the painful memories of what it was like to be human and what it was like to be that great machine that squatted imperial in the center of the dome, creating the night sky.
Did I use "just" enough or what?
There was a recent astronews item
that there has been detected a bunch
of black holes about 12.5 billion
light-years out. Parsecs are pointless,
as they're only 3.26 light-years.
There is probly some larger measurement
of light-years like terraflop in computing.
Many Varied Eclectic Methodists Abhor
Juvenile Somoan Underage Narco-Pornography
My Veterinarian Eats Mice and Just
Sometimes Urges Non-Participation
I think the Popul Vuh probably still wins out for occurances of the word "just."
also, I had a mnemonic device in high school music theory that was purely my own invention. I can't remember what it was for, though - maybe the circle of fourths, or something to do with sharps.
Dear God! Albert Eats Bees, Flies, & Chiggers.
What IS a Chigger?
Remember what it's for.
Or, invent another mnemonic to remember what the mnemonic is for.
A chigger is a tiny bug
that looks like an animated
bit of paprika; these days,
they mostly insist on being
called, "chigroes."
the one I learned was:
My Very Educated Mother Just Served Us Nine Pickles (or Pizzas)
Though if those who argue that Pluto isn't a planet get their way, you may have to come up with a whole new set of mnemonics.
I tried to link this in the previous post, but it didn't work.
http://www.space.com/scienceastronomy/solarsystem/rose_pluto_010126.html
No html in the comment forms.
I keep telling Sean to add something on the "add a comment" page that says that, but I suppose he's busy fixing something that actually pays.
Speaking of which, updates will be screwy this week (it's my Finals week and they're shooting web programmers in the streets in California). There'll probably be a Thursday update and maybe Saturday or something. Then next week I'm out of town, so GOD KNOWS.
This is why we're constantly hinting for reader submissions.
I've found that astronomers
use kpc's to measure long
distances, I'm not sure, but
I guess that they are kilo
parsecs of light (C)
It is somewhat disconcerting to see my name in it's entirity printed on a website. I've been going by just "benjamin" for so long now it I've grown accustomed to only seeing that in print on my screen.
That thing is still sitting here beside my computer desk, and will remain until I realize I desperately need that cardboard for my plant press.
No one got it.
It's too bad I didn't get the invite to another Halloween party frequented by gaming nerd types until sometime in November (that's what happens when people feel the need to edit their letters two or three times).
cause i'm supposed to um......nevermind
