The Devolutionary Oath Around the World
part two of the Almost Useful Information series
If you don't know who Devo is, you're sort of beyond my help. However, the less ardent Devo fan might not have known about the Devolutionary Oath. Basically, it was one of the things Devo originally shouted at their audience whilst ducking beer bottles and fists. It was later featured in their concert films and printed propaganda, cut down to five laws (1, 2, 4, 8 and 10).
Years ago, while subscribed to alt.fan.devo, I decided that we as a fandom needed the Devolutionary Oath translated into as as many languages as possible.
Why? Dognose. I also used to keep a list of people named Earl who'd emailed me (in response to a .sig that told them to, natch). I guess time weighs more heavily on some people's hands than others'.
Loyal spuds worldwide answered the call for multilingual de-evolution. Here, except for the computer translations, are the International Devolutionary Oaths:
1. Be like your ancestors or be different. It doesn't matter.
2. The fittest shall survive yet the unfit may live.
3. Grow big or stay little.
4. Lay a million eggs or give birth to one. So shall your species survive.
5. Unused organs shall disappear or persist.
6. Win a mate by combat or not.
7. Fight with your neighbors or untie them.
8. Wear gaudy colors or avoid display. It's all the same.
9. Develop legs, wings, tail or not -- they will help or not.
10. We must repeat!
1. Sois comme tes anc�tre ou sois diff�rent. C'est pas important.
2. Le plus fort survivera mais un inapte peu vivre.
3. Grandis ou reste petit.
4. Pond un millier d'oeufs ou donnes en un naissance. Ainsi ton esp�ce survivra.
5. Les organes unutilis�s vont persister ou disparraitre.
6. Gagne ou non un conjoint par le combat.
7. Bas-toi avec ton voisin ou d�tache les.
8. Porte des couleurs de mauvais go�t ou �vite de te montrer. C'est la m�me chose.
9. Cr�e des jambes, ailes, queue ou pas -- ils t'aideront ou pas.
10. Nous devons r�p�ter!
translation: Ben Truwe and Peter Lount
R�ckentwicklungishe Schwur
1. Sei wie Ihren Ahnenreihe oder anderen. Es ist w�rst.
2. Die geeignetsten �berleben, aber die ungeeigneten k�nnten leben.
3. Wach gross oder bleib klein.
4. Leg eine Million Eien oder geb�r eins. So soll Ihre Art �berleben.
5. Ungenutzt organen sollen verschwinden oder anhalten.
6. Durch krieg gewinn ein Mann oder eine Frau, oder nicht.
7. Kampf mit Ihren Nachbare oder losbinden sie.
8. Trag auff�llige Farben oder f�hren sie vor. All ist egal.
9. Beinen, Fl�geln, Schwanzen entwickeln oder nicht. Sie werden helfen oder nicht.
10. Noch einmal mussen wir!
�bersetzt von Dr. Ginsu
(with reverse translation)
1. Sosen ni mieru ka chigau ka kamawanai.
Ancestors seeming like or different doesn't matter.
2. Mottomo taeru no ga ikiru shi, taenai no mo ikiru yo.
The most "one who fits" will survive yet the "not-fitting" one also may live....
3. Ookiku nare ka chisaku tomare.
Bigger become or smaller remain.
4. Tamago o hyakuman ume ka hitotsu ume ka. Shuzoku ga ikiru tame no hazu da.
Egg one-hundred tenthousands lay or one lay. Species survives sake its for.
5. Tsukawanai kikan ga useru ka taeru ka.
Not used organs disappear or remain.
6. Tatakatte to ka tatakawanai de haiguusha o kate.
Combating or not combating mate win.
7. Chijin to arasoi tatakatte mo tokute mo ii.
Neighbors fighting with and untying are both good.
8. Reireishii iro o kakete mo goji o yokete mo onaji da.
Gaudy color wearing and display avoiding are the same.
9. Aji to ka hane to ka shippo o tenkai shite no ni tetsudawanai
Legs or wings or tail developing in spite of will not help.
10. Kurikaesanakute wa ikenai.
Not repeating does not go.
March Hare
1. V�r som dine forfedre eller v�r annerledes. Det spiller ingen rolle.
2. Den sterkeste skal overleve men den svake skal f� leve allikevel.
3. Voks deg stor eller forbli liten.
4. Legg en million egg eller klekk ett. Slik skal �tten overleve.
5. Ubrukte organer skal forsvinne eller best�.
6. Vinn en make ved kamp eller la v�re.
7. Bekjemp dine naboer eller slipp dem fri.
8. G� med glorete kl�r eller unng� oppmerksomhet. Det er det samme.
9. Utvikle ben, vinger, hale hvis du vil -- de kan enten hjelpe deg eller ikke hjelpe deg.
10. Vi m� gjenta!
Per Henrik Johansen
EVOLUTIONARY-DAY OATH-WAY
1. E-bay ike-lay our-yay ancestors-way or-way e-bay ifferent-day. It-way oesn't-day atter-may.
2. E-thay ittest-fay all-shay urvive-say et-yay e-the unfit-way ay-may ive-lay.
3. Ow-gray ig-bay or-way ay-stay ittle-lay.
4. Ay-lay a-way illion-may eggs-way or-way ive-gay irth-bay o-tay one-way. O-say all-shay our-yay ecies-spay urvive-say.
5. Unused-way organs-way all-shay isappear-day or-way ersist-pay.
6. In-way a-way ate-may y-bay ombat-cay or-way ot-nay.
7. Ight-fay ith-way our-yay eighbors-nay or-way untie-way em-thay.
8. Ear-way audy-gay olors-cay or-way avoid-way isplay-day. It's-way all-way e-thay ame-say.
9. Evelop-day egs-lay, ings-way, ail-tay or-way ot-nay -- ey-thay ill-way elp-hay or-way ot-nay.
10. E-way ust-may epeat-ray!
Annna-way Ruwe-tray
QRIBYHGVBANEL BNGU
1. Or yvxr lbhe naprfgbef be or qvssrerag. Vg qbrfa'g znggre.
2. Gur svggrfg funyy fheivir lrg gur hasvg znl yvir.
3. Tebj ovt be fgnl yvggyr.
4. Ynl n zvyyvba rttf be tvir ovegu gb bar. Fb funyy lbhe fcrpvrf fheivir.
5. Hahfrq betnaf funyy qvfnccrne be crefvfg.
6. Jva n zngr ol pbzong be abg.
7. Svtug jvgu lbhe arvtuobef be hagvr gurz.
8. Jrne tnhql pbybef be nibvq qvfcynl. Vg'f nyy gur fnzr.
9. Qrirybc yrtf, jvatf, gnvy be abg -- gurl jvyy uryc be abg.
10. Jr zhfg ercrng!
Naaan Gehjr
Juramento Devolucionario
1. Sea como sus ancestros o sea diferete. No importa.
2. Los m�s aptos sobrevivir�n, pero los no aptos vivan.
3. Creza grande o qu�dese peque�o.
4. Ponga un millon huevos o da a luz a uno. As� su especie sobrevivir�.
5. �rganos sin uso desaparecer�n o persistir�n.
6. Gane una esposa en lucha o no.
7. Pelee con sus vecinos o des�telos.
8. Lleva colores chill�nes o evita exposic�on. Lo mismo da.
9. Adquira patas, alas, cola o no -- se ayudar�n o no.
10. �Tenemos que repetir!
Annna Truwe
By now, gentle thingsihate reader, you're probably wondering how you can contribute, or more likely, judging by the amount of participation (hi Jonas) in the Nelda Nockbladder contest, off searching for porn again.
Though I'm no longer actively looking for submissions, I'll put up any donations I get from helpful Spuds.
And that's my update for Monday. Quake in fear, melon farmers: next week is ukulele week.
