By: König Prüß, GfbAEV [2001-04-25]

This is an easy and scenic bicycle ride



This is an easy and scenic bicycle ride, the ride out to the Gen. Jubal Early is on the old Washington and Old Dominion train rail bed that is now a flat and strait trail that isn't entirely obstructed with bikers, roller-bladers, joggers, and dog walkers once one gets a few miles out. I carry a six-pack of beer, a walkman with Jean-Luc Ponty playing electric glass violin (very good bicycling music,) and a sweat shirt; I get about three miles per beer, but there are plenty of pit stops along the way to grab another six. The first stop is Reston, Virginia, a planned community where I surveyed for several years, so I know it well. I forget who started this project, but Gulf Oil bought it out and finished it. Right next to the bike path, there's a quick stop store, and a nice bit of grass for a ten-minute stretch.

The next stop is Leesburg, Virginia, where there is a bike shop right on the path, also, where I get off to go to the Gen. Jubal Early, and cross the Potomac River into Maryland. The Gen. Jubal Early is the last surviving ferry boat on the Potomac River. It's at White's Ferry. A bit further up the Potomac, there's Harper's Ferry, where the gonzo abolitionist, John Brown, did battle with the Federales. There are several other river towns with "ferry" in their names, but White's Ferry is the only place that still has a ferry crossing, the other crossings are bridges now. As ferry boats go, the Gen. Jubal Early is nothing like the Larkspur Ferry, the Isle of Skye Ferry, the Cape May Ferry, or the Nanaimo Ferry. In fact, it's just a damned flat-deck barge with a donkey-motor and secured to a wire cable with a pulley, not much better than the Glenelg Ferry. When the barge gets to one side of the river, the Capt. of the Gen. Jubal Early turns the engine around 180-degrees, then he's ready for the return trip. The Potomac River is about a quarter-mile wide at White's Ferry, but at Great Falls farther down, it is narrow. Great Falls is where George Washington threw a silver dollar across the Potomac, it's not hard to do there, even I have done it.In the dry part of the Summer, it is possible to hop from rock to rock at Great Falls, and cross the river, but at normal flow, not even the craziest kyakers mess with those falls. When the river is flooding, it's spectacular, although it keeps the Gen. Jubal Early from crossing.

Crossing on the Gen. Jubal Early takes under ten minutes at the rate of 3 mph. On the Maryland side I pick up the Chesapeake&Ohio Canal. The canal used to carry mule-drawn barges up and down with freight headed out and farm produce headed in. So, actually I'm riding on the tow-path along the canal, very flat. Sometimes, there are still barges and mules to contend with, the National Park Service runs mule-drawn barges in the summer, and the bargemen and some of the passengers dress c. 1820. The mules wear straw-hats with their ears sticking through. Every so often along the canal, there are locks where the barges can change levels, which takes no time at all. There are lock houses where the lock guys used to live, but now, the Park guys have music and refreshments. I get more beer at Point of Rocks, Maryland, that's enough to get me to Washington. I get off the canal in Georgetown, and head up Wisconsin Avenue to a restaurant called "Au Pied de Cochon," where one can get a cold, jellied pig's foot and Alsace beer, but you got to be in the mood for that. But my favorite is bread, wine, onion soup. If I eat too much, I'll fall off my bicycle.

Three of the canal locks are right by Georgetown, Lock #1 is level with the Potomac. Each lock is about ten feet of lift, so, up past Point of Rocks near White's Ferry is Lock #12, I believe, so, that's about 120 ft. of elevation change over 36 miles, so gradual on the canal tow path that it's not noticeable. There is talk of another bridge crossing, but there has sprung-up a committee to "Save The Gen. Jubal Early!" I hope that the last ferry crossing does survive, it's my favorite way to cross the Potomac River.
wow... [2001-04-25 00:59:17] staniel
and to think, I was under the impression that Columbia area had little to offer other than politics and diseased monkeys (Reston). oh, and Gwar.
oh, and Maryland has Baltimore, and with it, John Waters, much history, and bizarro crab recipes. I recall one from the writings of H.L. Mencken, a sort of toasty crab sandwich made by skewering a soft-shell crab directly above a slice of bread, then holding it over a campfire, causing the crab to melt onto the bread, which simultaneously toasts. sounds hideous, but I'd try it once anyway. hey, sounds like a pretty fun region after all.
Monkey Labs [2001-04-25 02:49:27] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Those monkey labs, they did some research on Hanta virus there. I applied to work there when they were doing marijuana research. They had two rows of 5 sealed rooms. You'd go through a lock, strip, shower, suit-up. Then, thru into a room where you'd pick up a tray for one of the rooms. The 2 "clean" corridors were on the outside of the rows; after exiting, you'd go out into the central "dirty" corridor,
go to the end, strip, shower, ya da, ya da. That was Level 3; Level 4
is the airtight suit. They were working with monkey ebola and human variants, it got out of control, so they hosed the place with liquid nitrogen to freeze it, demolished the place while keeping it frozen,
hauled it of to incinerate. One factory spilled some kepone into the Bay, and for a couple of years it was hazardous to eat seafood. Now, there aren't too many crabs this year; they're about $200 a bushel or so. In the early 1800's there were so many clams and oysters that they
pumped and filtered the whole Bay a couple of times a day. Now they're
scarce too. I've never eaten the prehistoric-looking horseshoe crabs,
but they're being harvested now. Any case, Paul Reed Smith has a guitar factory on the Bay, he makes Santana's guitars and half the top
ten MTV bands got PRS guitars. I like that dragon inlay. I'm going to go buy tickets tomorrow for his local show.
THIS JUST IN - NELDA NOCKBLADDER CONTEST WINNER!! [2001-04-25 16:06:23] Annna
That's right, J. Jonas Jameson has won the M.E. holograph of The Battle of Maldon with his whopping Nelda score of 3334!

Odds of winning 1:1, apparently!

Let's have a cheer for Jonas, for wearing away his fingers in Neldaspace in pursuit of high scores fungossity! Pending address notification, your translation will be winging its way to you shortly!

Now, can anyone beat my high score of 17,649?
Philippine Version [2001-04-25 16:44:26] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Now I know what plausible scores are in the ballpark to aim for to shoot at! I think that it's fantastic tha Jonas has won both the First Prize AND the Booby Prize in one fell swoop. I'm working on a Philippine version of Nelda Nockbladder featuring Ms. Swan called
Inelda Narcos.
WOO-HOO [2001-04-25 16:58:35] Jonas
Gosh, I don't know what to say -- I had a speech prepared, but it just doesn't seem up to the task, now that I've actually won! I mean, wow, this is the greatest feeling. So I'd just like to take this opportunity to thank Annna for introducing me to Nelda Nockbladder, Scott Miller for making the game, my parents for being there for me, I'd like to thank everyone else here for not actually entering, and of course I'd like to thank God, for not smiting me for taking His name in vain so often (mostly on the Liver level). Thank you, I'll never forget this!
Oh yeah [2001-04-25 17:14:31] Jonas
Annna flatters me, my score was actually only 3,324.

"Inelda Narcos" sounds like quite the fabulon!
[2001-04-25 19:00:19] Old English-Speaking Barbie
Math is hard! Let's go shopping!
I doubt your crebidility [2001-04-26 00:25:31] Sean
I think you mean "olde english." Possibly "ye olde english." Possibly "ye olde english 800."
staniel had no chance [2001-04-26 01:03:41] König von Nelda
"Human play dom-jot!"
the way I see it [2001-04-26 01:06:50] tofu
I was hoping it was synonymous with:

Old Barbie Who Speaks English

Occasionally I choose the handle The Grammar Pirate, but my wit ends after 'Shiver My Timbers'

Crebidility [2001-04-26 01:14:41] Jonas
"Crebidility", ahahahahahahahhahaha!!

Oops, don't annoy the sysop. Oh well.

Ahahahhahahahahah!!!
Yeah, that's right. [2001-04-26 01:27:53] Jonas
Yeah, that's right, I said "sysop". I must be old. I downloaded ACiDDraw 1.25r (now fully reg'd!) a little while ago -- it wouldn't run under Win98!! The ACiD site hasn't been updated in almost two years. Damn Internet. Well heck, I was feeling Luddite-ical when RIPs came along.
3D Cafe [2001-04-26 01:51:21] König Prüß, GfbAEV
If you are doing graphics, you might like 3D Cafe; they have a variety of free stuff, 3D models, textures, sound effects, type fonts, etc..
http://www.3dcafe.com
ansi! [2001-04-26 06:15:58] staniel
dude, if there was a way to display it, I would share my old ANSI animations. I miss TheDraw.
the history of ASCII art [2001-04-26 06:20:39] staniel
http://www.geocities.com/SoHo/7373/history.htm
[2001-04-26 12:37:29] Halcyon
ANSI animation.. ha... animation was so lame... on the other hand.. only the true haxx0rs could master color 16! ohhh yea.... THATS 0x0F FOR YOU HEX TYPES.
A long time ago, on a BBS far, far away... [2001-04-26 18:01:25] Jonas
STAR WARS ASCIIMATION, it has to be seen to be believed. It's not the whole movie yet, and hasn't been updated in a while last I checked, but it's definitely a testament to the POWER of text. (Holy cow, that rhymed like Dr. Suess!!) staniel, ask the dood responsible about the Java applet he wrote to show the animations.
And of course... [2001-04-26 18:03:21] Jonas
...the link works best when it's spelled correctly: http://www.asciimation.co.nz.
Tune Up Ukelele [2001-04-26 21:19:50] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Standby OK, tuning up ukelele--

Ho=na=ka=san

There~OK

Sank yew belly mush!
wow... [2001-04-27 02:17:47] staniel
so many good things come from New Zealand. I need to find a job in Auckland.
NZ [2001-04-27 05:00:01] König Prüß, GfbAEV
The NZ embassy is very friendly; their security chief invited our survey crew to lunch. There were stacks of cases of NZ wine, lamb, and kiwis. And oil paintings of Maoris with fierce-looking facial tattoos.
There are some restrictions for permanent immigration visa like they want a health certification that one is not carrying Hep C or AIDS;
there is some disease there, but why import more? Understandable. So, if you are serious, contact the NZ embassy in DeeCee, they're friendly. I have to get a new birth certificate so's I can get a new passport, my last one got stolen. Also, Costa Rica is nice if you like
Latin and Tropical, but NZ is a better deal. I should start a travel agency.
Costa Rica [2001-04-27 11:38:51] Sean
My sister went to Costa Rica for a few months as an exchange student. Stories she came back with included the ability to get two beer in the bars for 80 cents, riding the bus for 10 cents, getting to have her picture taken with a monkey on the beach, and buying turtle eggs straight from the bucket of the guy at the gas station. Apparently the thing to do with the turtle eggs, which are soft and flexible, is to poke a hole in one end and suck out the contents. I guess when sucking out the contents of a raw egg don't bother you, neither does the fact that it came from a bucket some guy had at the gas station.

I want to go.
San Jose, Costa Rica [2001-04-27 12:33:12] König Prüß, GfbAEV
My collitch had some connection with the University in San Jose, so when I got my visa, I told them that I was going to study there, they gave me a five year visa! Many places in Mexico and Central America, they illegally sell turtle eggs and some restaurants have signs for turtle soup, but they usually don't have it. I think that there is some kind on international treaty against eating turtles now. In North Carolina near Kitty Hawk where the Wright Bros. flew, on the beach I saw what appeared to be a tractor tire track that came out of the surf and just stopped. After about ten minutes it registered that it was turtle tracks, and at the end of that track in the sand there were eggs! I did not disturb them. But the poor people will sell anything
for money, the future often doesn't extend beyond thinking about their next meal. I just read in the SF Examiner that a guy got robbed while walking his pet chicken!
NZ [2001-04-27 20:10:33] staniel
I think the big cities on the North Island are Wellington and Auckland, not sure about South Island, maybe Christchurch? it's got to be colder in the south, but I think everywhere except the Bay of Islands is pretty temperate. suits me fine; I find NJ summers too humid. silly of me to have considered LA, really. I am totally serious about travelling, and NZ's as good a place to start as any.
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