The Complete Petey, Part Six

We shouldn't jump to conclusions about Petey's having an affair with (what I must assume is) a simulated woman constructed out of rabbit meat. He might well be using "rabbit meat" as a pet name for Patty; and of course she is horrified. Petey means well -- to him "rabbit meat" is the highest compliment that can be paid to a woman -- but that doesn't help Patty much.

There are an astounding number of food products that could be used as pet names for one's girlfriend, and would earn one a slap in the face. A short list would include:

Potato Buns
Creamer
Miracle Whip
Turkey Tenderloins
Loose Meat Sandwich
Booger
Cheese Substitute
Tuna Spread

I think that one of the elements in having a cute and romantically involved young couple fronting for rabbit meat is to lend an aura of innocence to the consumption of what is in Nature a predator's favorite. I've seen a Red Hawk catch a rabbit and stand with its wings spread and its claws imbedded waiting to open the rabbit's soft belly and consume the liver. A rabbit ad campaign based on the hunting patterns of Red Hawks might imply that if we consume rabbits, we would take on the characteristics of that fierce raptor. All elegant and dignified so far. But then, for example, the rabbit ads could feature a mangy coyote pouncing on a paralyzed rabbit and whipping it back and forth in its' jaws, gleefully crunching the rabbit's skull. The rabbit does not occupy an enviable niche in Nature, and I think that Petey&Patty help us forget that. On the other hand, it is quite normal and gentlemanly hunting behaviour to return from the field with a string of rabbit and pheasant, and damned fine eatin', too! The evolution of Petey&Patty has caused me to reconsider the development of the veritable plethora of cartoon characters created for commercial comestibles.

I picture Petey delivering a similar dissertation on the place of the rabbit in the food chain, from a comfy leather chair in the study of his hunting lodge, next to a roaring fire. the guests are uncomfortable, and Patty is frightened that he might scare off these new business prospects (or whoever the guests are; someone they're trying to impress) with such an early revelation of his obsession. the lodge has heads of rabbits of many kinds mounted on plaques, but even creepier, they're plastic. Petey finds the real heads far more appropriate on the table (rabbit skin fritters, rabbit head cheese, USAF style rabbit eyes, etc) than on display.

your pun about the partial aspect of the waiter is most Melvillian.

Agreed, a magnficent pun -- and there aren't many such things.

Annna, when the local genetic research center sends its Clonemobile out to your neck of the woods, be sure to get your brain cloned, okay? I can think of a lot of people who could desperately use the upgrade. Thanks!

I think that Petey's collection of hunting trophies would certainly include a specimen of the ever elusive jackalope.

Jackalope! only $179.95!
http://www.jackalopejunction.com/Jackalope.html

Both Petey and the Teletubbies share this whole antenna / rabbit motif. Maybe the Teletubbies are the product of Pel-Freez's more scientific wing? Which begs the question, what is "tubbie tustard" made of?

Since we're passing out pun-compliments, the one about baldness / roots is elegantly subtle. Nicely done!

Thanks. Pop edited my lame "lumpy proletariat" pun a few days back because he read it early in the morning and was too sleepy to get it. Fie on that!

I have always enjoyed puns, wordplay and etymology; when I was younger, I used to worry that I was manifesting the signs of schizophrenia. Turned out it was worse than that; I became an English major.

Actually, I was thinking of the more direct, Portnoy's Complaint interpretation of said statement, if not simple gluttony-instead-of-lust sublimation.