A Late Entry...

Holy living shampoo.

quite unrelated to anything that's going on. maybe i can finally get an answer.
can forensic science detect an induced air-embolism?
perhaps not the best question to be asking in lieu of my entry but it's been on my mind for a while now.

You may already be a weiner! Superb work, Noisia!

(By the way, you know how you're not supposed to open attachments from people you don't know? Yeah. Don't. The e-mail's subject is something like "Final assignment Review" or something. But at least I now have a good incentive to get my dad's computer hooked up to the internet. Sigh.)

...if the message is an attached plaintext document followed by an attachment. Apparently the virus takes the name of a file in one's My Documents folder and mails people in one's address book.

I already showed this to Noisia, but if anyone else is interested: Death by Air Injection

I hope you haven't been putting off moving a body until we answered you.

Okay, air embolisms often cause convulsions and writhing and shrieking and stuff (if they weren't struggling already), so you could look for signs of disarray.

I've read somewhere that it takes about 200 cc of air to kill someone, which is a bunch. (Here's a handy way to visualize that, as long as you're me: it would be every single insulin syringe in the house in your veins; a whole lot of precision stabbing or one huge needle. Oh, wait, I have an analogy for the laity: a soda can after you've taken a few swigs.) So you could look for needle tracks on the victim. A lot of needle tracks.

(Unless you're planning on killing a woman via vigorous air-blowing oral sex, which I think would probably have to be a lot harder than people say, even if she were pregnant.)

Also, as long as the body was fairly fresh, you could X-ray it and see if there were air bubbles in the lungs, brain and/or liver, in which case you'd have to dissect the blood vessels underwater so you could see if air escaped.

I don't know whether you're trying to kill someone or stop a killer, but if you're trying to kill someone, you'd better have a backup method. You might just give 'em a stroke or something, unless they're sedated and you're good at hitting veins. But if they're sedated, you might as well set them on fire or put a cat on their face or pay a bum to kill them then come back and "defend them from the bum," as we see in Jim Thompson's The Killer Inside Me.

Damn you, J Speed! I type and type and type for you kids and this is the thanks I get?

Anna, you're much better at explaining these things, and I'd rather hear it from you.

Here's something that perhaps you can help me with. Are you familiar with the Medieval morality play "The Three Living and the Three Dead"? (I think that's its name, about three merry princes who encounter three corpses who hit them with the whole memento mori trip.) It occurred to me today that one could come up with a modernized version of this, involving Richie Rich and Casper the Friendly Ghost. But I can't think of anyone who could do a better job of this than you.

The notion came to me today as I was telling some children that when Richie Rich died, he became Casper, doomed to wander the earth in search of the friends he eschewed in his heartless and greedy life.

Re: virii and file attachments. I've been foolish enough to open one or two in my day, and fortunate enough to be so paranoid as to run F-Prot almost immediately afterward. Backup regimens are a must, if you don't have one. (If you're looking for backup software, ask me about DupDir32, a creature of my own devising.)

How about DOCTOR FAUSTUS featuring Hot Stuff as Mephistopheles?

There's a microwave weapon that will scramble brain waves and stop the autonomic nervous system. What's cool is that at lower than lethal wattage, it causes the target to hear bells and whistles, and halucinate bright colors! Wheeeeeeeeee! But I like the old Bulgarian Brolly, too.

In about 1990, in the Marvel Comic "Quasar", Death came for our hero in the form of Kid Reaper: essentially Hot Stuff in a skeleton costume, carrying a scythe. Kid Reaper explained that Death manifests itself in a form that comes from the victim's mind; unfortunately, Quasar read too many Harvey Comics as a kid ...

If you look carefully above, you can make out the words "ANAL RAPE."

Maybe that's just if you look too long.

I looked but i could only find "RAPE" but not "ANAL", and for that i had to read up and change direction a few times.
i will give a hearty congratulation to whoever can figure out all the stuff that's written there and the correct arrangement. eg "need more..." would be right but "need pain more" would be wrong. oh god this is stupid KILL ME.

oh, just shoot 'em and dispose of the evidence well. jeez. really now. nice submission though.

i wouldn't like to have been petey's pe teacher, i'll tell you that much. or his dinner lady either.

Oh, well, that caught me just as I was changing computers anyway. I
am probably going to set-up the other computer for linux and C++ and infernal experiments. I think that this computer has more sound capability, and the graphics sure run faster. I've got it wired through the stereo, so, the music is much more fun! Yep! Like an idiot, I opened the damned thing, and even ran the .exe! Also, I wrote a long and well considered response which promptly got bounced back. Double-feh!

An excellent spicy spaghetti sauce recipe:

1/2 jar Prego Roasted Garlic & Herb spaghetti sauce
The last 3/4 inch of a jar of Tabasco
The last 1 1/2 inch of a bottle of Garlic Expressions vinigarette salad dressing, including the pickled garlic cloves at the bottom (God's own salad dressing - I love this stuff. I like to drink shots of it. It's got WHOLE cloves of garlic floating in it! How can you not love it?!)
2 good squeezes of Winking Lizard (great stuff! I don't care if I win the contest, 'cause I already got my prize!)
1 can of peas
Black pepper until your arm gets tired from peppering
A pinch of salt

Mix it all up.
Heat it.
Pour it on spaghetti.
Eat.
Marvel.

is good with peas. but it is hard to find a utensil that captures both spaghetti and peas effectively, so 'tis better with ziti, rotelli, macaroni, or other short pasta.

whats the song that mentions the killer inside me? all i can remember is "see if he's read the killer inside me" and "lets have sex without birth control"

maybe that was "let's have sex with pitbulls." ANYWAY, I hate when I can't remember things like this.

I was assuring myself that it wasn't I Walk the Thinnest Line and it ends up being Sri Lanka Sex Hotel... which I can't remember. 'cause I mainly listened to them in other people's cars.
superior pasta topping: equal amounts tomato & onion chopped, with a little minced garlic and basil, olive oil, balsamic vinegar, salt, and black pepper. just throw it while cold onto steaming hot pasta, since you want it to take some warmth from the food, but it should not be subjected to cooking. people will tell you it needs oregano, but they are people who equate Italian food with oregano and can't imagine the former without the latter. just punch them and be done with it.

Sad but true: I read the book because of the song. I also can't stand Gene Loves Jezebel, so the Milkmen are 2 for 2 so far.

No luck on locating/reading My Little Fish, whatever that may turn out to be.

Hey, I mentioned this already.