More San Francisco Weirdness
ok here's filler
I'd gone to the Covered Wagon many times before. Every Thursday night is an event called "Stinky's Peep Show." Usually on Thursdays they'll have good rock or punk bands, so I was no stranger to the event. I was, however, a stranger to the peep show, until recently.
Stinky's Peep Show is, as they say, "home of the large and lovely go-go dancers," where, in addition to the large girls dancing on the bar top between bands there is apparently also a peep show in the back room. One night a few weeks ago, on a trip to see Captured by Robots with my good chum Amber, she made the comment that she thought she wanted to see the peep show.
Usually going solo, I'd never been to the peep show, but I was willing to check it out. A lone loser on his own slinking into the peep show screams "I want to see boobies." A fellow waltzing into the peep show with his female friend says "Hey, ha ha, I'm here for laughs, NOT BOOBIES, I ASSURE YOU."
So when the time came, we got in line for the peep show. It only cost a dollar, and Amber even paid my way in. The theme of the evening was Chandra's Electric Tits. "Only fifty cents a nipple," the man at the door kept barking. "Drink and smoke as much as you like!"
We went in and made our way to the back of the room. It had some tables set up in the middle and fuzzy red wall paper. I had to admit that it was classy. There was a little stage up front, sitting on which was a wooden electric chair. When the room was full, the door was closed and the show began.
A girl wearing a short skirt and halter top was led in and strapped into the chair. The lights were dimmed and the crowd went silent. The announcer took up position to the right of the stage and introduced us to Chandra.
We weren't told why Chandra was being executed, but nobody in the crowd, which was about equal parts men and women, seemed to care. When the switch was flipped, Chandra began convulsing wildly, as anyone would with a gajillion volts of justice surging through their system.
In order to illustrate that Chandra was, in fact, being electrocuted for real in front of our eyes (and why shouldn't we believe that she was? When they instruct the crowd to "drink and smoke as much as you like" in a state which has outlawed smoking in all bars and restaurants, we're forced to conclude that they take the law into their own hands) he withdrew a fluorescent light tube and waved it around in the air. Every time the tube came near Chandra's flailing body, it started to glow.
In order, I guess, to convince anyone who still didn't believe that Chandra was actually frying right there before us, he set aside the light tube and withdrew a torch. As we all know, torches burst into flame when they come into contact with electrified human flesh. Extending the torch out carefully to Chandra's twisting belly. As soon as the end of it made contact with her skin, FWOOOOOSH! Fire!
"And now..." the announcer said, "I'm going to touch the torch to the softest, most sensitive part of her body. How many of you want to see me light the torch off the wettest, softest part of Chandra's body?"
The crowd seemed to like the idea, and let the announcer know. "OK," the announcer said. "But first, we're going to need a little contribution..." and he passed around a hat. People placed their crumpled-up dollar bills into the hat, or just threw them at the stage. I, getting caught up into the moment, hurled a handful of pocket change up to the front of the room. When the hat made it back to the announcer, it was time for the finale.
Brandishing the torch, waving it around with a great deal of ceremony, he extended one arm behind him and the torch out toward Chandra and touched it to... her tongue. "Didn't you guys know that the tongue is the most sensitive part of a woman's body?" the announcer said.
Then Chandra took off her top, and for a mere three dollars anyone could get a polaroid taken of him or herself with Chandra's electric tits.
Captured by Robots was good. It's one guy, three robots. Originally he built the robots because he was lonely and wanted someone to play music with him. Then the robots took control, ripped out his entrails (which hang before him on stage) and now force him to play humiliating songs with him. GTRBOT666 and DRMBOT0110 run the show, hurling insults to the crowd and to JBot, their poor captive human, allowing him to stop playing only long enough to tell the crowd that all humans are "dumb ass-fuckers" every now and then.
The only kind words ever spoken to JBot come from The Ape Which Hath No Name, the large mechanical monkey he secretly built for friendship and tambourine playing.
The robots aren't pre-recorded, either, and DRMBOT actually plays the drums. I'm sure the drumming is sequenced, but the insults are live. At one point during a CBR show, an audience member shouted "You suck, drumbot!!" to which DRMBOT immediately replied "Yes, I will suck the blood from your dying corpse."
Annna is gone for the week. Perhaps tomorrow I will wow you all with the tale of another peep show, and Pedro & the Heartbreakers, the insane street performer in North Beach. And perhaps it will be better than this update, but that's not likely.
xoxo,
Sean
Stinky's Peep Show is, as they say, "home of the large and lovely go-go dancers," where, in addition to the large girls dancing on the bar top between bands there is apparently also a peep show in the back room. One night a few weeks ago, on a trip to see Captured by Robots with my good chum Amber, she made the comment that she thought she wanted to see the peep show.
Usually going solo, I'd never been to the peep show, but I was willing to check it out. A lone loser on his own slinking into the peep show screams "I want to see boobies." A fellow waltzing into the peep show with his female friend says "Hey, ha ha, I'm here for laughs, NOT BOOBIES, I ASSURE YOU."
So when the time came, we got in line for the peep show. It only cost a dollar, and Amber even paid my way in. The theme of the evening was Chandra's Electric Tits. "Only fifty cents a nipple," the man at the door kept barking. "Drink and smoke as much as you like!"
We went in and made our way to the back of the room. It had some tables set up in the middle and fuzzy red wall paper. I had to admit that it was classy. There was a little stage up front, sitting on which was a wooden electric chair. When the room was full, the door was closed and the show began.
A girl wearing a short skirt and halter top was led in and strapped into the chair. The lights were dimmed and the crowd went silent. The announcer took up position to the right of the stage and introduced us to Chandra.
We weren't told why Chandra was being executed, but nobody in the crowd, which was about equal parts men and women, seemed to care. When the switch was flipped, Chandra began convulsing wildly, as anyone would with a gajillion volts of justice surging through their system.
In order to illustrate that Chandra was, in fact, being electrocuted for real in front of our eyes (and why shouldn't we believe that she was? When they instruct the crowd to "drink and smoke as much as you like" in a state which has outlawed smoking in all bars and restaurants, we're forced to conclude that they take the law into their own hands) he withdrew a fluorescent light tube and waved it around in the air. Every time the tube came near Chandra's flailing body, it started to glow.
In order, I guess, to convince anyone who still didn't believe that Chandra was actually frying right there before us, he set aside the light tube and withdrew a torch. As we all know, torches burst into flame when they come into contact with electrified human flesh. Extending the torch out carefully to Chandra's twisting belly. As soon as the end of it made contact with her skin, FWOOOOOSH! Fire!
"And now..." the announcer said, "I'm going to touch the torch to the softest, most sensitive part of her body. How many of you want to see me light the torch off the wettest, softest part of Chandra's body?"
The crowd seemed to like the idea, and let the announcer know. "OK," the announcer said. "But first, we're going to need a little contribution..." and he passed around a hat. People placed their crumpled-up dollar bills into the hat, or just threw them at the stage. I, getting caught up into the moment, hurled a handful of pocket change up to the front of the room. When the hat made it back to the announcer, it was time for the finale.
Brandishing the torch, waving it around with a great deal of ceremony, he extended one arm behind him and the torch out toward Chandra and touched it to... her tongue. "Didn't you guys know that the tongue is the most sensitive part of a woman's body?" the announcer said.
Then Chandra took off her top, and for a mere three dollars anyone could get a polaroid taken of him or herself with Chandra's electric tits.
Captured by Robots was good. It's one guy, three robots. Originally he built the robots because he was lonely and wanted someone to play music with him. Then the robots took control, ripped out his entrails (which hang before him on stage) and now force him to play humiliating songs with him. GTRBOT666 and DRMBOT0110 run the show, hurling insults to the crowd and to JBot, their poor captive human, allowing him to stop playing only long enough to tell the crowd that all humans are "dumb ass-fuckers" every now and then.
The only kind words ever spoken to JBot come from The Ape Which Hath No Name, the large mechanical monkey he secretly built for friendship and tambourine playing.
The robots aren't pre-recorded, either, and DRMBOT actually plays the drums. I'm sure the drumming is sequenced, but the insults are live. At one point during a CBR show, an audience member shouted "You suck, drumbot!!" to which DRMBOT immediately replied "Yes, I will suck the blood from your dying corpse."
Annna is gone for the week. Perhaps tomorrow I will wow you all with the tale of another peep show, and Pedro & the Heartbreakers, the insane street performer in North Beach. And perhaps it will be better than this update, but that's not likely.
xoxo,
Sean