By: Ben
[2001-09-12]
PETEY RETURNS TO A GRATEFUL NATION
some cheerful news for trying times
ASHLAND, OR (AP) -- Sixties pop icon Petey has returned to print with the publication of the September 2001 issue of
The Ashland Elk, house organ of Lodge No. 944 of the Benevolent and Protective Order of Elks. Petey was the hero of the long-lived ad campaign of the Pel-Freez Rabbit Meat company of Rogers, Ark. that ran from 1965 through 1971.
The two-column ad on page six, just above news from the Happy Campers' RV Club, is a reprise of a classic advertisement that originally ran in October of 1970, the only installment of the series that pictures Petey twice. It pictures the lovable antennahead imagining himself greeting a visitor from another planet as he leaves his spacecraft. "We're just green 'cause we envy your rabbit meat!" explains the alien.
Ed Polish, editor of the newspaper, explained that "It was the only thing I had that was the right size. If this causes a surge in rabbit meat sales we hope Pel-Freez will do the right thing."
Petey was unavailable for comment.
Petey will show us the way.
A thought about the terrorist attacks on the US: if any good comes of this, it will be in the national realization that it's wrong to attack civilian targets. I do believe that US foreign policy over the past 50 years, which too often has resulted in the death of civilians, is the root cause of yesterday's attacks.
The best defense is a humane foreign policy.
I am looking forward to possible Petey buttons, as I have to take my Petey T-shirt of to wash it when I spill Winking Lizard Sauce on it!
... man, what a great alias!
"The name is Buttons. Petey Buttons."
It's like around where I live, there's a company called "Dobie Pallets", which would be yet another great alias, or perhaps a stage name for a third-rate porn star.
Around here, there's also a business called the Superior Erection Company.
There's a plumber here named John Flood
Lou... jesus everloving christ.. just shut up... The only civilian target around here is you.... I doubt anyone else can stand all your 'everyone is thhhuper' bullshit any longer than I can.
Heck, feel free to slip me the ol' tongue if you like.
One time, there was this dude named Sampson who had a magic mullet that like made him really strong. There was a bunch of jive-assed dudes that used to mess with Sampson, and they wanted to get up in his face but they knew better 'cuz he was strong on account of his magic mullet. So, the jive-assed dudes got this skuzbucket named DeeDee to sleeze on him, sneak up an cut off Sampson's mullet. Then the jive dudes got ahold of Sampson and chained him up between these two big columns. They were raggin' and jivin' on Sampson, and Sampson didn't like it one bit, so inspite of his magic mullet being gone, Sampson mustered-up what strength he had left and pulled them damn colmns down, even though they came down on his head, too. Sampson didn't like being ragged-on on TOP of losing his magic mullet.
The two big columns are the World Trade Center, right? And the jive dudes are the terrorists! And Sampson is, um... America, and the magic mullet is... er...
... when did I ever describe anyone as "super"? Hah? Show me the page where those words are coming from me. Or have you been freebasing Jell-O Pudding Pops again?
Writes in hallucinations,
Lou
it's great to see petey published like this. by the way i found a sign on the sea front near my house with picture of a boy who was exactly like petey outside a fish and chip shop but he had no antenna and the letter on his top was different. i can't remember what it was though. what a rip off.
I hereby retract every opinion I've ever expressed about music. This may be the most goddamn amazing thing ever produced by humankind.
I think I speak for all right-thinking people everywhere when I say I'd sure like to see a picture of this Petey clone.
The video was pretty good too. A nice counterpoint to "Lobster Magnet"...
I'll contend that Lou's original point is quite accurate. Sadly, tho, I fear it'll be missed by anyone in any position of power to act on it, most notably in the way the words "justice" and "retaliation" are being interchanged so easily. Hard-line Palestinian Moslems cheer the act and shout "God is great"; while in the US there are those getting a hard-on for their cruise missiles while Bush closes his speech with "God bless America". (All this not a fortnight since Irish Catholic schoolchildren are basically stoned by their Protestant neighbours, who must live on the other side of a fence -- oh no, nevermind, that was a Dr. Seuss story.)
But that's all I'll say about that, cos if you want anymore try just about everywhere else.
Over the past five years or so, I've come to realize that some people are going to make noise and piss and moan whenever they see other people getting along. As much as it looks like they're trying to take away other peoples' peace of mind, it is ultimately a begging cry for peace in their own lives.
In a time of military war, though, people tend to respond by finding enemies to fight somewhere. That usually means picking fights close to home, in whatever manner is open to them. So even decent folk can get suckered into arguing and dividing themselves into warring tribes. Something to watch out for in the coming days ... and really, the only way to counter this tendency is to set a good example, and to refuse to fight whatever little wars are open to you.
Those are exactly the words I've been trying to think of for the last two days.
The US can put all the money into missile defence, spy networks, and wiretaps that it wants; it's never going to be enough to stop 50 determined people with *knives*. Please, let no one say that the States deserved this or had it coming or brought it on itself -- that would simply be bullshit. But if we don't want a repeat of what just happened, then the only practical measure we can really take is to understand that even a superpower cannot act with impunity, and that driving entire peoples to such a degree of desperation is going to produce these kinds of horrific consequences.
Just one determined man with a spork!
König, you might only be joking: one determined man, several years ago, hijacked a flight from Winnipeg, Manitoba, with a butterknife. I don't know where he intended to go, but they eventually talked him into landing in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. This was at the height of airline hijacking, so if you waved something silver you controlled the plane; who knows if it was even serrated?
That four planes were hijacked at once isn't really that much of a feat: my dad used to be an air traffic controller, so he has a couple good stories (myself having been too young or non-existent at that height to care).
Then there was the time a young American socialist radical took off to Canada, hijacked a flight there and went to Cuba, about thirty years ago. When the plane landed, there were already two other hijacked flights there waiting to get back to their destinations. The co-pilot refueled the jet at the airport, and readied to take off -- interrupted by the Cuban ATC who reminded them: "The cheque! The cheque!" Of course, they had to pay for the fuel.
(An interesting postscript to that story involves that radical's return to the States a little while ago, and setting something or other up in some little community. Anyway, the RCMP's case on him was still open; one day, they decided to punch his name into a search engine, and lo! there was the dude's name, location, and doings. So a quick call to the American police taught that guy to change his name in the future.)
I guess hijacking just won't be that easy anymore. Sigh.
Jonas, you know, when these airplanes first started crashing into things, my first thought was that there were a couple of maniacal kids somewhere in a basement who had hacked their way into the air traffic control computer, and had their joysticks and warez and baseball hats of backwards, and were yelling, like "dOOd!"
It could happen!!!11!!
Think they still offer 20 free rabbit recipes? I'm getting pretty tired of the same old rabbit stew recipe!
orite wankers..this webshite is harsh as fuk.. since wen did "us" wear ben sherman etc :S.. no mate no ... we just take pride in what we wear no just sum old shitty rags tht have been ripped from lil kiddies backs because yas cant afford 2 buy gd clothes..i no a fhew goths ma self and sum are actualy orite.. just most ov yas need 2 go die,
Speackin as a 15 year old goth dedicated to pure metal and anything rockin, I live quite close to the City of liverpool! Townies are so called 'Scallyies'
I have been spat on, ran after and bassicaly had the shit taken out me by a bunch or hard knocks that walk like chickens in designer lables that are out of date after 2 weeks! Come on we dont rip you off and just coz we look like walking death dosent mean we dont like you. I can honestly say hand on heart Ive never gave a 'Townie' a hard time ive held it back while ive been called everything known possible just coz i look different!
I'm sure i'm not the only Mosha , goth, punk ect that has this problem,but im just standing a word for all the ones who are the same as me!
Thanx
ps/ try and emity the flem thats in your mouth before taking!!!
