By: König Prüß, GfbAEV [2001-09-21]

Pressman

Disclaimer: Kids! Don't try this at home!

The printing business has interested me a bit, for the graphics and pretty pictures, and because sometimes people believe what they read, if for no other reason that they saw it in print. I've have several friends who've had small job print shops, and several friends who've found a niche as graphic artists. From hanging out with these guys, I'd learned a bit about spec-ing and sticking type, fonts, layout and paste-up, burning plates, ink pastes, the knife, the jogger, the folder, the stitching machine, and some of the things that are peculiar to the printing business. So, when I found that I could get a chance to work at Creative Graphics, I was taken with the thought of an artsey kind of a job that wouldn't require a suit and tie. Imagine my surprise!

Several jobs that I've had the privilege to learn have been from top to bottom, and this was one of those. The shop foreman walked me out to the shop floor, explaining that there would soon be a paper delivery, and that I would be unloading and stocking the paper. Some of the paper, for the flat-bed press, came in large flat bundles that could be moved with a forklift or a palette jack. I was given a heavy pair of leather gloves and a large steel wrecking bar and was left on a loading dock beside some roll-up doors wondering what the hell this has to do with graphics or creativity. A semi-truck soon backed up to the loading platform, the doors opened, and the truck driver began rolling rolls of paper at me that were about four feet wide and six feet in diameter. The wrecking bar could be used to try to slow the paper, and my hand could be used like the calipers on disk brakes in a car. The latter method of trying to slow the webs of paper had the distinct disadvantage of subjecting my hands to some serious paper cuts, even though I was wearing heavy leather gloves, I wore out a pair of gloves almost every day. I got all of the web press paper put into rows along the back wall of the shop, and caught my breath. The next thing that I tried was the baler; after printing, the printed sheets must often be trimmed, which results in a lot of strips of paper. One nice thing about all of the scrap strips was that I could take them and make note pads by painting one side of a stack of scrap with some rubbery goop, so I had plenty of damn note pads for a while, some even printed with catchy slogans, phrases, and logos. But there was a boatload of scrap strips, much more than the demand for note pads could absorb, so the surplus was put into the baler where it was compressed into a bale the size of a cotton bale and weighing around two tons! When the baler was full, the bale could be ejected, and one didn't want to get in front of it. Neither did one want to get in front of the rolling paper for the web press. I'm still skeptical that the pen is mightier than the sword, but a couple of tons of paper sure can squash you flatter than a bug.

The next thing was burning plates, which was done with a Vitek camera that uses very bright light to take a picture onto an aluminum alloy plate. The plate is then acid etched kind of. After etching, the plates were put onto the appropriate places for a seven-color litho process. This is one long mother of a press, and does nice printing like one sees in glossy magazines. Getting all of the plates in, then inking-up, then roll two big damn rolls of paper over to the web press jacking them up to feed in. There is a short run to see that the images are aligned, the paper is feeding ok, and the ink is ok. This press kind of sounds like a jet plane taking off, a loud turbine whine. After the test run, the press run might take up to three days, stopping for more paper. There is a way to splice the paper so that re-threading the paper isn't necessary.

The Knife, or the paper cutter was a status job there because it is possible to screw-up a lot of product with one cut. The bindery had machines like the folder, that could fold and staple, and the stitcher for making books. The other press that I liked there was a large flatbed press that printed single sheets and had vacuum suckers like an octopus.

There was a printing job that was "overflow" from the GPO (Government Printing Office.) I think that it was for a million and a half books of food stamps. Usually, the commercial printing jobs do a 10% overrun to allow for printing and cutting errors and still deliver the desired amount. This job, however, some of the guys decided to print maybe 200% of the contract. Some time after the printing was done, a "special typewriter" disappeared, the machine that was used to type the serial numbers on the stamps. The stamps go for fifty cents on the dollar on the street, so I figure whoever got away with that got about 0-0k. I don't know if that is any less of a grift that printing money outright, but the level of printing skill is much less than printing currency.

Disclaimer: Kids! Don't try this at home!
Ut! It's the press signal! [2001-09-21 14:42:30] Lou Duchez
Sounds like a pretty rewarding job, in that it didn't get too dull, and there was a good deal of screw-around time.

With your experience in paper, perhaps you can explain something to me. You know on those commercials where a bunch of women sit around and hand-stitch the texture into Northern Quilted? That has to be the most depressing job in the world, with like zero chance for job satisfaction. So how come they don't go totally apeshit?
nq [2001-09-21 15:08:04] noisia
come on now, who wouldn't be satisfied to know that all their hard work is going to end up wiping shit out of someones ass? it's like being president without being kidnapped by ninjas or having your daughter kidnapped by punks.
Publishers Paper Co. [2001-09-21 17:15:03] König Prüß, GfbAEV
There was an industrial laundry service in South San Francisco that supplied shop rags to the printing businesses; the input side, cloth squares covered with sticky ink that I separated and threw onto a high-speed conveyor belt that zipped them through an electric eye to count them. I'd get smudged-up with various ink. After the shop rags had been washe&dried, and stacked into bundles, there was a machine that I'd put the bundle into, then two rings would whirl around the bundle tying it with string. Sometimes I didn't get my hands out of the way fast enough, and the bundle would get tied to my hands. When I was in Oregon, Publishers Paper Company was a big item. I think that it's a New York-owned company that's in the timber business to supply the paper mills. Although Publishers Paper Co. has some good economic aspects for some people, there are the usual environmental concerns. And also there have been some supposedly shady dealings about the Bureau of Indian Affairs leasing out Indian land to Publishers to cut timber, then the proceeds seem to experience substantial shrinkage. Some roads in Oregon, they left a 200' buffer of forest either side, but beyond that, they clear-cut. Publisher Paper is a big company, and not all bad, but like a lot of corporations, it's a mixed blessing.
Kafka [2001-09-22 13:44:52] König Prüß, GfbAEV
I'm surprised that none of you preverts has mentioned Kafkas's "The Penile Colony" yet. Now, there was a printing press!
Kafka! [2001-09-22 15:20:52] staniel
I forgot I had that collection. Now, there's something I can read instead of interacting with other human beings! SO LONG, SUCKERS
Kafka!! [2001-09-22 17:00:23] Lou Duchez
I've always been rather steamed at Max Brod, who didn't respect Kafka's wishes to destroy his works. Instead, he submitted Kafka's writings to publishers, who used them as the basis of the "Thundercats" cartoon. Pretty damn sleazy IMHO.
? [2001-09-22 20:50:22] König Prüß, GfbAEV
So, you're saying that Kafka stole his stuff from Thndercats?
ok [2001-09-23 01:22:53] König Prüß, GfbAEV
al revés
But [2001-09-23 01:28:54] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Thundercats brought Kafka to people who would never have read Kafka; futhermore, I would venture that Kafka is currently indifferent.
Kafka squared [2001-09-23 02:54:20] Lou Duchez
Whether or not "Thundercats" introduced Kafka to the world, the fact of the matter is, the author didn't want this to happen at all, and I think the author's wishes should count for something. Rather ironic that Kafka's works, so often revolving around the theme of the individual's lack of control over his own destiny, were animated against Kafka's will.

Beyond which, we don't even have the author's help in explaining his works, so it's all a big Rorschach test anyway. Like in the episode where Mumm-Ra turned Lion-O into an insect, and Cheetara had to get the antidote from the Well of Forgetfulness, intellectuals love to look for all kinds of deep symbolism. But why overanalyze it? The Sword of Omens doesn't "stand for free will", it's simply a magic sword that can defeat Mumm-Ra once and for all.
Singing Sword [2001-09-23 08:45:03] König Prüß, GfbAEV
If I ever do have an original idea, I don't care if someone steals it, then they can run around saying, "Hey! This is my idea!" Good for them! Everyone should have an idea that they can call their own. Or I might decide to charge people to think about my idea. They can think about it once for $5, or three times for $10, although I don't believe that anyone would want to think about any of my ideas more than once.
Wussy-O [2001-09-23 09:48:11] Lou Duchez
Agreed, Kafka was a wuss for insisting that his writings be destroyed. All the same, it was his wish.
Smoke [2001-09-23 10:10:35] König Prüß, GfbAEV
Sometimes I write poems and then burn them because there is some magic in the smoke. I think that some Indians and/or Chinese do this, too. I wonder how many people like Kafka have destroyed their work. In one sense, it's not their work, they were only instrumental in its creation, and to destroy that work would be like taking a hammer to Michaelangelo's "David," not that I write like Michaelangelo sculpts, I can't even create a decent mobile. But I like "Jackels and Arabs" a lot because it is a great short story about the relationship between Übermensch and üntermensch, so I am very happy that this piece wasn't destroyed.

destroying works [2001-09-23 16:55:22] Lou Duchez
I know only one other artist who would like his works destroyed upon his death. He's an impoverished musician, and his songs are full of anger at a world populated by idiots. In his case, I think, he wants his works destroyed as a way of snubbing the world for snubbing him.

Anyone here an Objectivist, or a student of Ayn Rand in particular? This musician is, and he carries with him that same disdain over stupid, dishonest people. Which I can appreciate, except that the world needs intelligent people to set a good example, and disdain is a poor example to set.
[2001-09-23 20:19:16] Jonas
It's a tightrope, Lou, it's a tightrope.
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