Demographic Study
the secret to success? pandering!
Thingsihate.org has a tiny problem. Among websites we're liked, but we're not well-liked.
After hiring a team of high-priced sociologists and marketing analysts to examine our audience, they highlighted the following posts as representative of thingsihate.org's readers:
With this revelation in mind, my sister Matie and I decided to take one for the team and hop back in our our dimensional travel engine for some alternate universe Uriah Heep.
Unfortunately, we were on a bit of a deadline. We had plans to see the Annie Sprinkle movies at the UO Cultural Forum Film Series in order to prepare for Ms. Sprinkle's seminar on Wednesday. Any mucking about in the other dimensions would have to be quick.
That is, we were going to use the TARDIS, but a family of vicious raccoons had set up camp during our absence, so it was over to the 'fridge for a frosty glass of Dimensional Travel Juice!
The first stop was in that creepy, creepy French dimension again, where we picked up a single of Gitane (607 KB) by Lucie Manette and absconded with it before they had time to sneer at us.
Sadly, I had overestimated the amount of Dimension Juice I had in stock because it goes so well with gin. Matie and I despaired. We only had a few minutes before we had to leave for the pornography! That's when I remembered the small but oddly-glowing crate that the mailman had just dropped off that afternoon; I'd never gotten around to opening it. Could it help us? Either way, it was our last chance.
Hurriedly, I pried it open with my claw hammer and was delighted to find a single-sided translucent flexi-disk, apparently an advertising premium from the Winking Lizard Tavern.
It took all the pennies in our pockets to make it play, but the record turned out to be very relevant to our quest. Download Winkin' Lizard (1.08 MB) by an unknown band working under the nom de commerce of "Urea Hill." The recording is tentatively dated to 1972.
After all that rushing, though, it turned out that the movies weren't that great, unless you like horrible rubber-clad procedures accompanied by slide whistle, timpani and perky narration.
Which gives me, on the other hand, an idea for the next Ukulele Week.
After hiring a team of high-priced sociologists and marketing analysts to examine our audience, they highlighted the following posts as representative of thingsihate.org's readers:
Sep 10, 2001 1:00am
...for me it's Uriah Heep, and Emerson Lake and Palmer. So in 40 years am I going to be an old fart going to music stores in a vain attempt to find "Demons and Wizards" in the latest technological format?
Sep 10, 2001 8:08am
Uriah Heep's good for that. Half their stuff is musically structured, half their stuff is a mess, and the other half is good for laughing at.
Oct 1, 2001 7:54am
[D]id Uriah Heep do any songs about rabbit meat? Just asking, since you're so good at finding these things.
Sep 26, 2001
If you find yourself TARDISing over to any dimensions where girl-groups do Uriah Heep numbers, I'd love to hear about it.
With this revelation in mind, my sister Matie and I decided to take one for the team and hop back in our our dimensional travel engine for some alternate universe Uriah Heep.
Unfortunately, we were on a bit of a deadline. We had plans to see the Annie Sprinkle movies at the UO Cultural Forum Film Series in order to prepare for Ms. Sprinkle's seminar on Wednesday. Any mucking about in the other dimensions would have to be quick.
That is, we were going to use the TARDIS, but a family of vicious raccoons had set up camp during our absence, so it was over to the 'fridge for a frosty glass of Dimensional Travel Juice!
The first stop was in that creepy, creepy French dimension again, where we picked up a single of Gitane (607 KB) by Lucie Manette and absconded with it before they had time to sneer at us.
Sadly, I had overestimated the amount of Dimension Juice I had in stock
Hurriedly, I pried it open with my claw hammer and was delighted to find a single-sided translucent flexi-disk, apparently an advertising premium from the Winking Lizard Tavern.
It took all the pennies in our pockets to make it play, but the record turned out to be very relevant to our quest. Download Winkin' Lizard (1.08 MB) by an unknown band working under the nom de commerce of "Urea Hill." The recording is tentatively dated to 1972.
After all that rushing, though, it turned out that the movies weren't that great, unless you like horrible rubber-clad procedures accompanied by slide whistle, timpani and perky narration.
Which gives me, on the other hand, an idea for the next Ukulele Week.