Lilacs

I was walking in the alley behind my house. It was a lazy day.

I found a lilac bush and picked several flowers. The stems were very tough, and I had to use my knife.

They smelled wonderful. I took a bite of one.

It tasted like chocolate and violets -- at least, the violet-flavored gum I tried once. Pretty good. The texture was a little odd, sort of like a handful of very small raisins.

I didn't know you could eat lilacs. I kept eating that one and brought the rest home.

I started to feel a little ill. It could have just been from eating too much rich food, but I started worrying that lilacs were poisonous.

Nobody was home. I put the lilacs in a vase. I felt queasy. I felt like I hadn't swallowed a lot of the lilacs, and that my mouth was gummy.

I tried to spit the lumps of flower into the kitchen sink, but it was very viscous. I had to use my finger to scoop it out of my mouth. When it fell into the sink, it looked exactly like brilliant orange spreadable cheese food product.

That made me feel sick, and I vomited the rest of the lilacs up into the sink. It looked like someone had emptied a can of aerosol cheese into the sink. I ran to the bathroom and started brushing my teeth.

It took a long time, because I kept having to rinse off my toothbrush. It would get covered in the orange lilac remnants. Eventually, my mouth was clean. I felt a little dizzy.

I went to the computer and dialed up the ISP. It seemed to take forever.

Finally, I got to the Web and searched for information on lilacs. It took forever to get anything -- it was like 14kbaud again.

I found a site about eating lilacs, but I kept getting 404 errors when I tried to go past the index page.