Undersea Nightmare - Part Five

When Judy awoke, she found herself perched on her knees, her hands tied behind her back to her ankles. She was being pulled along in a large wagon by a tribe of Amazon Warrior Bizarro Jesii, up the side of a mountain. "Oh great," thought Judy, "if they're planning to sacrifice me to a volcano god, there will be hell to pay."

AWBJ #9134 noticed that Judy had come to her senses and addressed her: "You funny looking Mary Magdalene. Yellow hair, dressed wrong, your feet no clean Jesus hair right." Judy observed that her boots had been removed, and shuddered at the experimentation that must have ensued... then lost herself in gales of laughter.

The AWBJs stopped and puzzled over their prisoner. The apparent leader of the tribe approached her and examined her face closely. "You no have number. What number Mary Magdalene are you?" "I'm NOT a Mary Magdalene, you literal reject!" she shot back. "My name is Judy and I don't HAVE a number because there's only one of me."

The assembled throng of AWBJs began to process what she had told them (she had to repeat herself a few times for the AWBJs to comprehend). "Then -- you are Number One Judy? You are goddess?"

"Ohhh, no. Don't go down THAT road," she insisted. "I thought you guys had turned your backs on Judyism, right?" Not one of the AWBJs got the joke, and Judy rolled her eyes. "Now what did they do with my boots," she wondered. The blade in the sole would be helpful not only in cutting the ropes, but also in putting a number of knife-sized holes in some truly deserving recipients....

The procession resumed and soon enough they arrived at the entrance of a large cave. The AWBJs untied Judy and told her to enter. "Leader of Amazon Warrior Bizarro Jesii live there. He know what to do with you. He smartest Amazon Warrior Bizarro Jesus ever!"

Judy grabbed a large rock and slowly went inside, letting her eyes grow accustomed to the darkness while she focused on her other senses. Seconds later, she heard a whisper: "Don't worry about those idiots, they watch too much TV. You're safe." She began to perceive a flickering light in the passageway ahead and approached. The passage opened into a somewhat larger chamber, illuminated by a single torch, and some distance from the torch she saw a man's silhouette. "This is an unusual way to welcome guests, but I'm glad you're here anyway," he said.

As the leader stepped out of the shadows, Judy's eyes grew wide with surprise. "YOU!" she exclaimed. "You're the LAST person I would have expected to see."

TO BE CONTINUED