By: Lou Duchez [2001-12-28]

Undersea Nightmare - Part Eight

Maybe it's time we got some answers.


I found this at a Goodwill, natch.


Nicky peered into the darkened holding cell where Beat Poet Bizarro Jesus #190 was being held. "Oh look," he gushed, "this Jesus found a couple bolts sticking out of the wall, and is using them to sleep like a bat!"

Dane scowled at the youngest member of the Sea Devils and tried to steer the conversation away from Nicky's juvenile observations.

"These Jesii seem to have been created with a technology akin to Professor Potter's duplication ray, once used on Superman to create Bizarro and then Bizarro World. But the duplication process requires an initial subject for duplication; how would they manage to duplicate Jesus, and into so many different forms?"

Nicky, barely paying attention to Dane's monologue, continued to study the captive Jesus. "It's kind of neat how his beret stays on even when he's hanging upside down, isn't it?"

Dane's eyes narrowed to slits for a moment as he unfolded a rubber mat and laid it on the floor. "Maybe it's time we got some answers. I'm going to wake the subject up," he announced. Dane quietly stepped on the mat, and electrified the interior surfaces of the ship.

"YOINK!" squealed Nicky as he jumped a couple of feet into the air. "Dane, would you WARN me next time you do that?"

"Sorry, Nicky, it won't happen again," promised Dane somewhat implausibly (as was his habit under these circumstances).

The Beat Poet Bizarro Jesus began to show signs of consciousness, and Dane activated the intercom to better talk with their guest.

"Attention Jesus, you are our undersea prisoner. Do not attempt to escape. We have taken your bride hostage and are not afraid to torture her to get what we want." Nicky's eyes widened with surprise as he turned to Dane, whose expression would not betray what degree of truth there was to his words.

BPBJ #190 squinted under the harsh lights and said, "Me am thirsty daddy-o." The ever-helpful Nicky slid open a small entrance to the cell and pushed in a bucket of wine. "This comes right from the sea we're floating in, so it should be what you're used to." BPBJ #190 stared intently into the bucket, and Nicky watched in amazement as the fluid turned from its red color to a completely transparent state. Almost like... water?

As the BPBJ slowly poured the bucket into one cupped hand and drank through the hole, Dane started in with his litany of questions. "Where is the genetic template for you and your people?" A puzzled look crossed BPBJ #190's face for a moment, then he resumed drinking. "Do you know the location of the duplication ray?" Again, no answer. "Were the assorted classes of Jesii the result of genetic mutation or were multiple templates involved?" BPBJ #190 finally finished drinking and simply said, "Who want help Jesus shoot up between toes?"

"Well, Nicky, if he were female I think he'd be your perfect date," concluded Dane as he flooded the holding cell with poison gas. "Looks like we'll have to get our answers elsewhere."

TO BE CONTINUED
I seem to have baffled everyone [2001-12-28 08:47:00] Lou Duchez
A couple notes:

1) The Sea Devils are a semi-obscure team of underwater explorers in DC Comics. They do consist of the scientifically-minded Dane, the feisty Judy, her immature brother Nicky, and the nondescript guy Biff. Last time I saw them, they were hanging out with Aquaman.

2) Back in Smallville, it was indeed Professor Potter who accidentally created the first Bizarro. It's sad that I know this.

3) I still haven't figured out how their submarine traveled to another planet. I suppose that bit is covered in one of the chapters we've skipped over.

4) No, Neptune Perkins won't be showing up.
Sea Devils [2001-12-28 12:46:55] Jacques Kitsch
I'm not baffled! This is my normal expression!
"Sea Devels Comics"
The Sea Silurians [2001-12-28 12:50:57] Jacques Kitsch
http://www.physics.mun.ca/~sps/serials/lll.html
"The Sea Devils"
Sea Devils D&D [2001-12-28 14:27:03] Jacques Kitsch
"Sea Devils"
Yes [2001-12-28 15:52:23] Jonas
I'm sure it will all come together as the missing chapters are found. It kind of reminds me of Rimmerworld. Part 5 was very intriguing, I will hedge my bets and say Judy's friend is either Professor Potter or the Wizard of Oz.

Did anybody else get an e-mail from TrafficMagnet.net about thingsihate? Cos for some reasons I did.
Reasons [2001-12-28 15:52:41] Jonas
Singular, that is.
She-Devil [2001-12-28 18:21:08] Jacques Kitsch
"Devil Girl"
Sow-belly Riders [2001-12-28 18:27:47] Jacques Kitsch
"Weirdo"
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