Space Ghost

Space Ghost was lost in the woods. It wasn't the cartoon Space Ghost, but the guy in the Lucha Libre-esque costume from Cartoon Planet. The guy who'd feed the goats and dance oddly. Anyway, there were search parties in the woods. I had a sort of edited-together view of the proceedings, as if everyone had a video camera and I was looking through the one that had the best view at the time.

People would catch a glimpse him dancing arhythmically through a copse of trees, but when they ran over to it, he was gone.

It was really frustrating. Plus, it was getting dark.

The really odd thing was that my viewpoint kept cutting to a view of the cartoon Space Ghost, holding the leashes to a pack of animated dogs. He would say encouraging things and move his head and arm slightly, Hanna-Barbera cartoon style.

Then my viewpoint changed to a bank of small TV sets, each still showing the POV of one search party. I was sitting in a swivel chair in a medium-sized office.

It was the office of a backwoods motel -- I could tell this from the desk. There were cabinets above it, and it had no door, so I couldn't go out into the lobby. Guests would have to come in to the lobby and walk up to the desk.

The office was nice, though. The walls had fake wood paneling and the floor was done in thick shag carpet, Marine Rescue Orange. There were two space heaters plugged in by the desk, warming the office area. The door would send a gust of cold air in.

The side opposite the desk had a door and a big window to the outside. There was a deck with some cracked plastic chairs and a table, then suddenly a huge amount of trees. The deck (and possibly the office) must have been up on stilts -- these were almost the tops of big trees.

The wall to the right, facing the desk, had the Space Ghost monitors mounted flush with the wall. They each had a volume control, but nothing else. There was a door in that wall, too, going to the kitchen. I could get to the lobby or the bathroom through the kitchen.

The left wall had a big metal desk and flashing lights in classic Star Trek computer tradition. There were even big reels and printouts.

One part controlled the motel's porn supply. There were six porn channels, and each was monitored on a small TV. They were labeled underneath with peeling labelmaker labels:

1. GAY
2. LESBIANS
3. SOFTCORE
4. ANIMALS
5. BLACK
6. MISC.

and there was also a row of lights, each one corresponding to one of the rooms. Now and then one would light up, and a bell would ding. There were lights under the room light that told me whether I should change the channel (with a dial under each light), turn it off, or turn it on.

The other half of the big metal desk looked sort of similar, except no porn. Instead, there was a big radar map of what I presumed was the surrounding area. There were also many buttons and a wireless 'phone headset and transmitter. It wasn't one of those dainty 'telephone headsets like you see in offices -- it wouldn't have looked out of place in a helicopter. This was for coordinating towing for the region.

There were some buttons with 'phone numbers written next to them, and various lights that would light up when there was activity on the CB, or on the tow truck integrated computer network. When something needed towing, I would talk on the headset in cool CB and military lingo. I got to say "niner" for "nine."

So I checked people in, changed porn settings, and dispatched tow trucks. There was also a teakettle in the kitchen, so I made some instant soup. I don't know if they ever found the human Space Ghost.