By: benjamin [2002-02-08]

beneath the dirt, the skin

a dream that is one part Cthulhu mythos and one part late night anatomy homework

I was living in a house, a smallish wooden construction painted primarily cadet blue both inside and out. It had nice wooden floors and almost absolutely no furniture. Perhaps I had just moved in. I shared the house with an indeterminant number of roommates and assorted friends of roommates but I didn't encounter any of them with any great frequency, or for any great length of time.

The pipes in the basement had sprung a leak, so I took the stairs from the kitchen down to the basement. The basement was dark and wet. The dirt floor was covered in roughly six inches of water. The walls and ceiling were a tangled web of pipes that split, converged, and wrapped around one another seemingly going no place in particular. I was unable to find the source of the leak after a cursory examination of this unfathomable mess of metal, but this would soon be the least of my troubles.

Cracks appeared in the moist earth floor, and with a sickening slurping noise thick tendrils of skin rose from the ground, oozing and slowly flopping about. Thick loops of intestine coiled angrily about one another. The earth heaved and great bubbles of skin rose and quivered like water just before it boils.

I ran upstairs to find that tentacles of flesh had begun to slowly bubble out of every faucet, pipe, and fixture. A giant elephant trunk of a phallus, covered in ropey black hairs sat upon the rim of my toilet looking menacing. The house creaked angrily as its foundation was shifted by tons of this scaly skin moved beneath it.

I attempted to locate my roommates and their friends, whose murmurs I could hear in some adjacent room, but could never locate. It was then that I realized beneath the surface of the earth some misshapen lump of human flesh had stirred. It was now devouring everyone in the house and I was inevitably next.

...

I remember that when I awoke I needed to visit the bathroom to relieve my bladder, but fear kept me under the covers just in case I wasn't alone in there.
Indeed! [2002-02-08 00:09:52] Jacques Kitsch
And a bit like the piece by Poe, "The Telltale Fart" But a quite good and vivid picture you painted, I could see such a place.
I hate when that happens [2002-02-08 06:28:18] Lou Duchez
That's why I always flush twice.
[2002-02-08 07:21:47]
Wasting water is always a good protection against evil giant penises
Blue Stuff [2002-02-08 07:24:48] Jacques Kitsch
Yep, and I've found that putting that blue stuff in the tank keeps most of the tentacles in the basement; otherwise, they have a tendency to grab you by the nether parts at a most in opportune moment.
A story indeed. [2002-02-08 12:50:20] Jonas
I don't know if Jacques' "Indeed!" was an allusion to that or not, so I thought I'd add it anyway.
Yes [2002-02-08 13:54:30] Jacques Kitsch
Yes, it was indeed a semi-oblique reference to that
photographs [2002-02-08 19:32:24] staniel
make old articles better
Tentacles? [2002-02-08 19:39:08] Jacques Kitsch
Does the cube have any tentacles?
damn it [2002-02-08 21:40:20] staniel
I was hoping having a picture would eliminate the need for such questions.
As a further venture into non-sequitur comments about old articles of mine, there are now pictures here as well. Bagel Factory!
Tina's Tentacles [2002-02-09 02:42:43] Jacques Kitsch
Well, does Tina have tentacles? She must use soap; the place is much cleaner than I'd imagined it. Does the place have a bakery smell? I wish that I didn't have so many questions. Something is wrong with the Universe: every answer poses more questions.
Urgent Breaking News! [2002-02-09 04:03:34] Jacques Kitsch
It appears that my Portland Porn Project is paying off!"Off-Color" Sorry for off-topicalness, but "Porn! Not Just for Breakfast Anymore!"
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