By: Jacques Kitch [2002-03-08]

GQ'd

let me say that I seldom go off about shoes

First off, I will admit that I'd not likely have written about a magazine had not Sean written such a bang-up piece about Glamour Magazine. I'd not likely have written this had I not received a copy of GQ in the post, either. And the last bit is the pointy Dolce and Gabbana shoes.

The periodical itself came in a plastic wrapper, sanitized for my protection I assumed, but upon opening it, I was smacked in the beezer by a sample scent by Ralph Lauren, not dissimilar to a variety of YSL I have used before in that it is obviously a citrus blend, not too fruity, with an undercurrent of yak musk.

Rampant on the cover is full-face portrait of Guy Pearce, with the title "Guy Pearce Exposes Himself." In the upper right corner of the cover is a little black ribbon urging me, "Buy this magazine or the terrorists have won," and more political than I had noticed GQ to be from passing glances on the newsstand, "THE WAR: Bob Drury Rides into Battle with the Northern Alliance," "Does Bin Laden Have Suitcase Nukes?" and "Feeding the Afghans." The rest of the pieces are more typical GQ fare.

But this pair of Dolce & Gabbana shoes of page 24, let me say that I seldom go off about shoes, but these are some very nice what
one might call "fence-climbers," obviously handmade of the hide of some Third World sweatshop person and, just guessing, about
$1,200.

Some of the scotch ads, they are for blended scotch, but I'd have thought that there would be ads for single malts. "The Style Guy," GQ's advisory council, has a funny cartoon of some "jug champagne," as if it were some California Mountain Wine. The impetus for the art was a question written in by a thirsty and romantic young gentleman wondering if there weren't some cheaper domestic bubbly that might be imbibed of an evening without making him appear cheap to his date. I would have mentioned Asti, but GQ did recommend Perrier, which I would have done also, but I like the jeroboam that comes in a nice wood crate.

I hesitate to look at the kind of political editorializing that GQ might carry, my own politics being alternately to the right of Attila the Hun and to the left of whoopee! But to tell the truth, GQ looks like it carries just enough fluff content and softcore boy porn to justify a maximal load of pricey ad space. Provocative, but not disturbing, just the kind of orientation one would hope for in the contemporary urban dweller: lots of "Gung" but not too much "ho."
The rest of the pieces are more typical GQ fare. [2002-03-07 19:34:11] noisia
As someone who is too lazy to read or even browse magazines aside from the occasional Cat Fancy or Pro Bowler Monthly, could you please tell me what the typical GQ fare is?
GQ Fare [2002-03-08 01:27:16] Jacques Kitsch
Same as the above but with less political content. How could GQ pass up the opportunity to profiteer during this time of rending National Tragedy and The War on Terror. Typical GQ fare is much like typical Glamour Mag fare, but for a different gender. Glamour Magazine is neither large on political analysis, nor farty butts. Advertising is typically geared toward high-end consumers, and/or those with latent political aspirations, or their boy toys who are still waiting to fart. For wine and cheese recommendations, there are certainly better sources. And would the truth be known, I find the title "GQ" a bit damned pretentious, for this is not the universal concept of a gentelman; rather, the rag might better sport the banner "Popular Boulevardier Quarterly." BTW, what is Pro Bowler Monthly about? Also, if GQ is to be taken at their word, you might well do your bit for the war effort, and buy a copy; have your amanuenses read it to you.
i have only seen the german GQ [2002-03-08 01:44:40] alptraum
does the US edition have naked bobbly tits and ass on almost every page? the kraut one sure does. i flipped through one at the lunch table in the office the other day and blushed in a very un-gentlemanly fashion. for example the article on puff daddy had a completely shirtless naomi cambell in every picture for some reason i still can't figure out.
Much as I hate to pick nits... [2002-03-08 03:13:06] staniel
I feel I must point out that Sean's article, as anyone who clicks the link will see, was about Cosmo.

GQ is basically Maxim for the nouveau riche.
Yes, "The Cosmo Pussies" [2002-03-08 05:28:50] Jacques Kitsch
Yes, obviously I was thinking of Sean's excellent piece on "The Cosmo Pussies" even AFTER I clicked the link. But now I'll have to wait until someone erroneously mails me a Maxim; however, Maxim's list of "100 Asinine Things from Mopeds to Monogamy" and "The War Between the Sexes is Over!: Break-The Baby Oil" sound like worthwhile and provacative reading.
No Bobbly Tits [2002-03-08 05:53:02] Jacques Kitsch
There's a four-page "spread" of Czech model Petra Nemcova tastefully clad in skimpy leopard and tiger prints, and posed seductively.
i figured... anglo-saxon cowards! [2002-03-08 07:20:48] alptraum
it's a rare evening when i don't see ta-tas on german network tv. but somehow the frank german attitude towards sex takes the fun out of it. you start thinking of sausages and tank shells and it just all gets icky.
Germans and nudity [2002-03-08 08:51:14] aspcp
The last issue of Der Spiegel that passed through my hands had an entirely nude woman on the cover, for some reason that I couldn't decipher (not speaking German).

But let's face it. Guy magazines have scantily-clad women. Gal magazines have scantily-clad women. Neither type of magazine generally features scantily-clad men. Which makes me especially happy not to be either gay or a woman.

But, then, I suppose women could read Genre.
And another thing! [2002-03-08 08:57:53] aspcp
Women's shoes irritate me. I mean REALLY irritate me. If it's not super-long pointy toes, it's super-long tapered toes that end in a tiny flat part. Or just the plain-old square toes that seem to be popular now.

Am I the only human left who wants feet to look like feet? Show me a girl in Chuck Taylors or Birkenstocks, and I'll show you... something clever and witty that I can't think of right now.

We need Al Bundy's God Shoes on the scene.
Pointy [2002-03-08 09:43:42] Jacques Kitsch
Those Dolce and Gabbana pointy shoes, I'd probably get a pair, as I think that they'd be a hoot for certain occasions. Dolce and Gabbana apparently make a nice boot also to compete with Doc Martens. But I'm not sure who gets their shopping list from GQ, most of the labels around here are Polo, Perry Ellis and Hugo Boss, and that brand with the kangaroo. And anything with a big 'X' or an 8-ball. In the Smithsonian Museum, they have Bo Jangles' shoes, gold-plated.
Full Noodle Frontity [2002-03-09 02:05:21] Jacques Kitsch
Yep, magazines should have the important stuff on the cover.
American network TV [2002-03-09 22:03:55] Forget it, I give up on these things.
I would put up with tank shells and sausages if I could see some ta-tas too. I'm not a coward, just the wusses in charge of our TVs are.
Nekkid Statues [2002-03-10 01:49:54] Jacques Kitsch
I'm not sure about America's future, what with the event of covering nekkid statues. If some of our male leaders are getting a boner from sculpture, I think that we're in big trouble. I wonder what they think of the statue in Belgium of the boy taking a leak."Manneken Pis"
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