Zirealism

It's the kind of understated urban humor that is reminiscent of some of the New Yorker cartoons that I like. It's good because it's the sort of experience that we've likely all had. Sometimes when I buy a newspaper from the box, I prop the lid open with another newspaper so the next guy has a shot at a free paper, so much for the honor system. The house where my mom grew up in Langley, Virginia has a garage with a studio above where Oliphant drew for a while. Oliphant skated close enough to the edge that from time to time in the middle of some polical embarassment, the establishment press would omit his daily bit. Oliphant seems to have anthropomorphed himself into a penguin who provided some sub-commentary on the main comment. I think that the Library of Congress has an exhibit called "An Oliphant Anthem." Their site is closed for maintainance 'til after 2pm EST, so I'll check again after then. Oliphant won a Reuben prize from the National Cartoonists Society. I like Reuben sangwidges very much; the combination of hot pastrami, saurkraut, swiss cheese and Russian dressing melted on grilled rye is peerless, but not beerless. Also, I think that this cartoon is sort of minimalist; that's a good thing, cut to the chase without a reacharound. Part of the charm of this cartoon is being left wondering just what that pervert is going to do with the newspaper? Surely, nothing so straightforward as just reading it! Also, why are those two losers reading and waiting to read the news, instead of making news? I don't look much at the newspaper, but I can sort of mark time by the thwack of the newspaper outside at 3:30am each day.

Anyway, the point for me about Oliphant is that a cartoonist can win a Pulitzer and get exhibited in the

"Library of Congress. Oliphant is also the education contact person for the National Cartoonist Society, and if you e-mail him at his link on that site, he'll probably answer. I think that the cartoonist who does the Simpson's is from Portland, Matt Groening; before that, he did "Zongo Comics"

i think the two guys in the cartoon look like the wolfman and that old timey nosferatu dude. thank you for taking me back to the glory days of german expressionist cinema.

Dammit! That changes everything!

Two thumbs up. But no legs.

Well, Jacques, I understand you might feel bad about not recognizing such obvious figures. But if it makes you feel any better, I didn't realize that was who I was drawing. (How does one say that grammatically? "I didn't realize they were whom I was drawing?" or perhaps "I spent too much time in the cabinet of Dr. Caligari and went blind.")

I'm a minimal calligrapher, so I'd don't hand letter more than I have to; I like the "Comic Sans" font. There must be a million fonts now what with Font Foundry and other software like that. Also, sometimes bold fonts are nice and blocky. But I think that most of the Stan Lee comics and Spike Lee tattoos that I've seen used Comic Sans or something like it. Are those your comix on the Black Yak site? I liked the "King&Eagle" story, also it stranged me out that by continuing to hit "next" the story became a continuing cycle.

urrf... is there any font that screams "church bake sale" or other throwaway flier as much as comic sans ms? I mean, times new roman means you didn't even bother to look but comic sans is just too much to bear. I'm getting a little bit weary of the standard verdana and arial. The Helvetica family is always nice but I only get that with Illustrator as I've not the truetype or postscript version. Most of the Egyptians are pretty nice though.

this is old, but has everyone seen what you get when you change the three letters "NYC" into wingdings?

Propaganda! Maybe the cartoon is two guys reading the Ads under Help Wanted: Cartoonist--but I sure got some weird permutations when it was Wolfman and Nosferatu!

Nothing says "Church Picnic" to me so much as "purple tentacle.ttf" or "porno.ttf"

look at it this way:

wolfman: "hey."
nosferatu: "are you finished with that?" (referring to whatever wolfman has concealed behind the bench -- his lipstick, a sex toy, nosferatu's monocle, whatever it is)

I am taking over the Arial font. Soon "Arial" will be synonymous with Zirealism. And yes, those are my cartoons on the Black Yak site. The site is a joint effort between me, a bunch of people who talk to me but whom I can't see, and the occassional slice of otherness in my solipsism pie.

damn! I knew I should have used those pointy balloon thingies!

i like the bench and its curlicues and pointy angry little legs by the way, gives the cartoon even more of a tim burton / whatsisname gorey type vibe

Sometimes cartoon balloons are effective or necessary, but with this cartoon, it's apparent who's speaking, and better for no balloon, I think. The news had a bit about the new US homeland defence office, so I'm trying to write an article about the Director Undersecretary Military Forces Unified Command (D.U.M.F.U.C.)

I especially liked some of the line work in "Henry"--I've got maybe a hundred and some fiber tip pens, they have variously worn tips, and if they dry out, I add water and/or ink. I got a couple of chisel tip fiber pens that are good for calligraphy, or fat lines or funny wavey lines.

The bald kid who wasn't Charlie Brown, right? My mom used to like that. That and Nancy.

Two semi-relevant questions:
!) Jacques, what kind of reubens do they have where you live? Round here, and in fact everywhere else I've been, they're corned beef, sauerkraut, thousand island dressing, and swiss on rye. Though pastrami and russian dressings sounds pretty good.
@) Who works on Sunday? Other than priests?

They got Turkey Reuben Sangwidges, and use Switzerland Emmenthal cheese and a slice of Ham on Black Bread, but I like them best with Pastrami and Swiss on Seeded Rye. I think that the Turkey version without the Ham is called a Rachael. Reportedly originally named for its creator, Arthur Reuben (owner of New York's once-famous and now-defunct Reuben's delicatessen), this sandwich is made with generous layers of corned beef, Swiss cheese and sauerkraut on sourdough rye bread. Reuben is said to have created the original version (which was reportedly made with ham) for Annette Seelos, the leading lady in a Charlie Chaplin film being shot in 1914. Another version of this famous sandwich's origin is that an Omaha wholesale grocer (Reuben Kay) invented it during a poker game in 1955. It gained national prominence when one of his poker partner's employees entered the recipe in a national sandwich contest the following year . . . and won. The Reuben sandwich can be served either cold or grilled. Source: Allrecipes.com-- Mine's got to be grilled, and best with Pastrami. Who works Sundays? The guy at the Deli.

I liked that Henry, too. The completely bald kid who never said anything. But I meant this Henry.

#) I thought Emmental was just Swiss cheese made somewhere other than Switzerland. Wouldn't that make "Switzerland Emmental" an oxymoron?

Kentucky Bourbon is probably an oxymoron, or at least redundant. A friend of mine who collects Single Malt Scotch pointed out that Scotch has to be made in Scotland, and then proceeded to show me a bottle of "Her Majesty King George Scotch" bottled in Hong Kong. As near as I can tell, Reubens got to have Russian dressing, but I guess that's another variable. OMG! I was searching for OMG and found omg.org, which is interesting, and something more for me to read.

For Henry I used whatever felt-tip marker was lying around. The Web hides a lot of sins, man. Zirealism is the same idea, but might involve ballpoints, even. It's all in how you scan it.

No, emmantal is a certain type of Swiss cheese that is definitely made in Switzerland, although many countries make "imitations." Emmantal is probably the most well-known of Swiss cheeses, so much so that it is often commonly referred to as simply "Swiss cheese," a term which is about as specific as "French wine" or "British hooligan." Although not all types of Swiss cheese have holes, emmantal does. My personal belief is that the holes originally appeared centuries ago when cheese was sold by volume rather than weight, and were thus basically a method of scamming the consumer.

As the oblique and Canadian descendant of the great French painter Georges Seurat and though a jurist by profession and not an artist, I approach your work with some hesistency, since I am loathe to make any critical comments on a work of art without the proper authority beyond sharing the surname and blood of a famous artist. I find your style rather like that of so many of the cartoons one sees in so many of the larger magazines, and so I ask what makes your contributions different from all the rest? I might propose, if you have no answer, that you may want to adopt the style of pointillism for your cartoons in recognition of the use of the Ben Day process throughout the history of printed cartoons. Ben Day dots are the modern form of pointillism, a fact not lost on certain artists of the mid-20th century, and so I propose that you consider a style more suited to the history of cartoons than the usual free-form stuff that one sees so ubiquitously. Just a friendly suggestion.

I haven't gotten a graphics tablet to draw on the computer yet, but I've heard good things from friendly sources. Yeah, Ben Day dots, Lichtenstein used those a lot. They are called something else, too, when used for newsprint, I think so. LetraSet, the co. that makes type fonts on plastic sheets for layout and paste-up, you position the letter on the drawing, then rub it and it sticks, also make dot sheets of various densities that you just put on the drawing, then rub where you want the Ben-Day dots. I know that the Swiss make many kinds of cheese. But they don't make any fermented yak butter, I'd say.

They're pretty versatile. I've had both corned beef and pastrami; pastrami is rubbed with pepper and I think is only cured, whereas corned beef is cured and boiled, so that's not too much of a stretch. I've seen the turkey ones but never ordered and am unsure whether it's actual turkey breast cold cuts or low-fat turkey pastrami. I had a sandwich calling itself a Reuben with cole slaw instead of sauerkraut, which was disgusting. Thousand Island dressing is just Russian dressing with chunks of pickle relish in it, so they're pretty much interchangable. I used to make grilled Swiss on rye then add cold pastrami and sauerkraut, much less messy. I've also been known to top cold pastrami and Swiss on rye with cold sauerkraut; it's not that I don't like the dressing but I never really got into the habit of keeping it about the house.

I like the saurkraut cooked and hot, my Reubens are not exactly finger food; but to be eaten off a plate with knife and fork. I've been reading up on Mark Shuttleworth, good name for a guy going to space, huh? He made a pile with secure net cert stuff and sold out to VeriSign. I dunno how he likes Reubens. But I like Reubens sculpture a lot. I like this one in the Hirshorn Sculpture Garden, too; it's by Maillol, but it looks very Reubenoid, lots of Pastrami and saurkraut!

I have it on good authority that Mr. Shuttleworth doesn't like Reubens. Neither do I.

who works on sunday? jeez. not just the deli guy, but just about everyone who doesn't work at the frickin' bank or for the goddammed government. I don't work on sundays now (though almost every other job i've ever had forced me to) but I could, conceivably, since my office is open every day.

Casey, I'm glad that you don't like Reubens! The more for me! This here 19th century Commonwealth of Virginia used to have Blue Laws, so's you couldn't buy nothin' on Sundays. Also, only the missionary position with "male superior," I believe they phrase it, is legal. Even if your own lawful wife wants to climb on with a Rebel yell, that ain't legal, especially on Sundays, and unleavened holidays.

I think the guy with the newspaper (Nosferatu?) was masturbating. He has that guilty "damn it mom, would it kill you to knock?" look on his face. Like he was sitting in the park (monster park?) jerking it and then the Wolfman wanted to read the paper (the monster paper?) he thought Nosferatu was reading, when in actuality Nosferatu was using it to hide his shameful act.

I just got the "Two thumbs up! But no legs" comment. I thot he meant no legs up, but the guy in back (Wolfman) really doesn't have legs, I just took them for granted, like the rest of the surrounding scenery. The local grocery store has park benches like that for USD$68, I want to get one so that I can sit on it and drink wine out of a paper bag.

i didn't get the no legs thing either...

in fact, I had a sick mental image of roger ebert laying down and heaving his legs skyward when a movie was REALLY good.

in which case the "thumbs up" would take on an even more sinister meaning. man i need help.

I was wondering when someone was going to get that. I knew it could be taken several ways. alptraum's take on it, though, was beyond even my wildest, sickest dreams.

And while I'm at it, in my early-morning, two-hours-of-sleep stupor, I guess maybe I could attach a valid URL to my name. Click away to your heart's content.

The thought of Ebert with his legs up like a beetle on its back is amusing, and revolting. Maybe Wolfman has his legs up Nosferatu...

I thought legs had something to do with scratching your head. And here's the Ben-Wah version of my cartoon.

What if instead of Ben-Day dots, you used Ben-GAY dots to illustrate a humorous comic? Then you'd have like, artistic street-cred and shit for using an "alternative medium."

Not my nose, I mean that I already can't wait until the next comic, so I guess that this will be a good thing, the Zirealism comics. Also. if Zongo Comics can morph into The Simpsons, who knows what this might yield.

I was wondering how cheese would be sold by volume.
Would you ask for a piece of cheese that had the dimensions of 3 x 5 x 10 or something.
Did they drop the cheese in a bath and measure how much water it displaced.

they even have an imposing building called the waaggebouw, weighing building, for the purpose at the renowned alkmaar cheese market. also a cheese museum which would probably put all our questions to rest. highly recommended - two legs up.

The holes in Swiss are caused by Propionibacteria shermanii. Supposedly, small hole Swiss is classified as Grade "B" cheese and costs less, but the large hole Swiss has to be hand cut, as slicing machinery can't handle the large hole Grade "A" Swiss. So, the bigger the hole, the more costly the Swiss, one large hole being the the priciest and most sought after as it is virtually undectectable except for the aroma.