By: staniel [2002-05-22]

Zindaloo, Fragment II

meandering

The Mantis sat sullenly in his room. The "resort" he'd found himself the surprised and unwilling guest of had them somewhere within its grounds, he knew it. They could have incapacitated him entirely by removing them to a more distant place or damaging them beyond use, but he knew they would be keeping them here to torment him, nearby but hidden and guarded. He was not surprised to find himself crying. His teeth were clenched and he made no sound, but tears were welling up in his eyes, running down his face. This was the way he always cried; about what his father had done, about his life as a personality (but never a person), and now about his loss of what had been inflicted on him. He began to rock slowly back and forth with his hands (useless, clumsy hands) folded in front of his shins, his head on his knees as he sat on the floor next to the bed.

After a while, he stood up, lost his balance, and fell on the bed. He didn't cry now, just slithered off the side and onto the floor where he crawled like a baby under the dividing curtain and into the nook where the water closet was. He pulled himself up to the basin, which sat on a pedestal with a mirror behind it and washed his face.

--

The outbuilding turned out to be a garage with a door two or three times the ordinary width set into the far wall where the Baron hadn't seen it from the outside. Where he had entered there was a door to a smaller room on his left and a wall on his right. The wall of the smaller room didn't extend more than a foot past the frame of its door and the floor of the garage ahead was bare. The typical paraphenalia of motorists hung from the walls in places - wrenches, a grease gun, shelves of smudged cans and bottles and on the floor near the rear wall - the wall that formed the outside of the smaller room - some large petrol cans. The door to this room was not locked more stoutly than any of those the Baron had encountered in his younger, leaner years as a destitute person in Bavaria, and he was soon inside with it pulled close behind him. A few large, insulated cables or small pipes came in from the ceiling and entered a maze of pipes of various sizes, a few of which terminated into the floor or the far wall. Others connected to metal casings, some with gauges or machinery attached. It took a moment for Zweihauser to realize he was in a miniature pumping station, which lay in quiet readiness. He gasped. The house had plumbing; it was rare in his native Europe and unknown in the Argentinian village where he'd been hiding from his creditors. He sniffed at the excess and proceeded to the far wall where, in addition to ends of various pipes, he saw two tall metal cabinets, padlocked shut. He'd come this far and while he had no grudge to speak of against the owners of the estate, the country where he'd found himself yesterday had been treating him as a criminal of a far worse sort than he admittedly was. There was no dilemma. He opened them.

They proved disappointing. One held a stiff and grimy set of coveralls. The other had metal poles wrapped in a tarp - the makings of a tent, presumably. There was no food, which he now realized was something he could very much benefit from.

--

One of the attendants, blonde and smartly dressed, gave a cursory knock and let herself in.

"Mister Callow, would you care for a slice of blueberry pie? It's just been baked. Fresh blueberries." The Mantis was surprised. For a week he'd been fed poorly on gruel and a weak tea that made his head ache and kept him asleep half the day. This was suspicious, but there was no way for him to escape regardless of how much more they drugged him. He did not refuse and, when he realized some time later that he had not had any gruel yet today, concluded that this dessert was replacing rather than augmenting his usual meal. He ate.

--

Three more of the pies sat cooling on the kitchen windowsill, steam wafting away from the slits in their crusts and presenting a tempting sight indeed. "What the Hell," thought the Baron, "I've always wanted to do this." He spirited one away, only half-concious of the way he stooped over his ill-gotten dessert, for this was the way one stole a pie. He even had a diabolical leer upon his face, and his eyes darted from side to side in a manner even more suspect than usual. Lamentably, all his finely honed skills as a cad and second-story man, of being aware of one's surroundings and keeping oneself hidden and whatnot were abandoned. He nearly collided with a large man in institutional-looking white clothes. The burly obstacle looked about to deliver a blast upon his whistle, then happened to glance at the pie. "Enjoy!" he chuckled, and went on his way. Disconcerting as this was, the Baron was by this time on the verge of fainting from hunger. He ducked behind a convenient tree and ate with gusto.
I think you should call this chapter ... [2002-05-22 01:28:45] Telemachus
... The bizarre secret of the Pies!

The Free Lunch [2002-05-22 01:49:26] Jacques Kitsch
Spider Robinson has a book called, "The Free Lunch," the pie reminded me of the free lunch part, sort of.
we will be wanting more [2002-05-22 06:39:53] posthumous
good story. I like how everyone gets some pie. please keep writing this story so I can see how it turns out.
I can tell you now... [2002-05-22 07:55:39] Telemachus
.. the pie is special transdimensional hallucination pie. Part of a government project to create multi dimensional beings that fold space, that is, travel to any part of the universe without moving.

I know this because I am the rabbit in staniels head that pulls all the strings. I am the rabbit in all of your heads, and with the demise of my nemesis Petey, I am free to take over the WORLD!
the mantis [2002-05-22 08:44:48] alptraum
sounds like he needs some zoloft or prozac or something
oh no [2002-05-22 09:25:25] posthumous
what the hell happened to Petey?
Petey [2002-05-22 13:29:57] Jacques Kitsch
He went to crap, and the bears ate him.
In the woods [2002-05-22 16:03:50] Oscccar
Or the pope ate him.
or [2002-05-22 16:36:14] Jacques Kitsch
maybe a priest.
Petey got sent... [2002-05-23 00:11:04] Telemachus
...to the electric Chair for killing Patty. As Documented by Blind Mama Pelfrey, in the Ballad of Petey.
Then [2002-05-23 03:27:47] Jacques Kitsch
No more Petey? That just can't be! There must be more ballad in which Petey gets revivified by preternatural means.
If it wasn't for ... [2002-05-23 05:08:31] Telemachus
... the fact that he is my arch nemesis, I would suggest that perhaps he was so strong in the rabbit-force that instead of dying he became a translucent image of himself, and even to this day whispers to young children. "Eat the Rabbit, use the Fork Luke, Let go of your foolish anti rabbit ways."

Or something
unbreakable [2002-05-23 06:43:41] posthumous
ha! you're using a *ballad* as your source of information? ballads constantly distort and invent for dramatic effect. Do you *really* think Barbara Allen died of sorrow the day after little William? she died of liver failure 12 years later.

If the information didn't come from a cartoon, I ain't buying it! Petey lives!
Wait... [2002-05-23 07:23:00] Telemachus
So where are you getting your information about Barbara Allen? Because I've never seen a cartoon about her death.
You said yourself if it ain't a cartoon it ain't real, so by your own logic you've proved that she clearly didn't die 12 years later of liver failure.
What is closer to a cartoon? A balad or your mysterious source of information?
Well considering we know that the Ballad exists and yet we know nothing of your source (so it could easily not exist) we have to admit that the Ballad is true because at least it exists, hence proving Ballads are true, hence the Ballad of Petey is True.
QED, Petey is Dead.
the whole truth [2002-05-23 10:43:20] A man in love
everybody is dead - petey, barbara and all the little ones. only mister callow lives and he likes gruel. blueberry pie leaves his mouth blue and he hates that. i think the moral of this story is be happy with what you have and don't chase pie.
proof all right [2002-05-23 10:45:53] posthumous
I want to see the body
Flawed logic [2002-05-23 10:47:51] Oscccar
By your reasoning, all that exists is true. Deny then that lies exist. That falsity exists. And are there not truths that exist without our knowledge? It has been amply stated and proved by others here tha rabbit meat is the most delicious and nutritious of all food substances, and I accept this without question despite the fact that I have no first-hand knowledge of this truth. Therefore, having no knowledge of the existence of the aforementioned Barbara Allen cartoon does not negate it's existence or her final cirrhotic demise.
Proof [2002-05-23 12:14:31] Jacques Kitsch
The proof is in the pudding, beef and kidneys are in the pie, I dunno where Barbara Allen's long lost liver is. Wild Turkey is 101°proof, Welsh rarebit and mock turtle.
if it's proof you want [2002-05-23 12:40:32] posthumous
Dear Telemachus,

Not only is Petey alive and well, but he's tracking your fiendish ass!

proof
that's incredible [2002-05-23 12:44:50] pithymood
Petey's a cannibal? Oh the humanity of it.

And I thought those rabbit ears were just for better reception.
more proof [2002-05-23 12:57:51] posthumous
No, pith-head! Petey is the photographer. That's the evil arch-rabbit string-puller thingie.

more proof
rarebit [2002-05-23 13:00:19] staniel
I made that once and I can tell you, there are better uses for double Gloucester cheese and strong Yorkshire ale.
possibly off-topic [2002-05-23 17:06:28] another timmy
or possibly not, since it might have to do with nemeses and such: Where is Knifekitten. I miss him greatly, and would also enjoy learning about the Spanish Civil War or other goodness.


and if not, there is plenty of amusement to be had with various items around here. I like to visit here. I've said my part.
Hispano Suiza [2002-05-23 17:35:22] Jacques Kitsch
My favorite thing about the Spanish Civil War is Hispano Suiza stuff, their cars, trucks, airplanes, and water-cooled machineguns. I think that Hemmingway rode in a Hispano Suiza ambulance when he was a medic in Spain. Spaniards often have moustaches, and runaway from bulls when they are not poking them with sharp things. They drink sangria for breakfast, too.
All content copyright original authors; contact them for reprint permission.