Fat Face Aliens

I just remember having a conversation with an alien. We were both shopping at the local mall. Not shopping in the sense of "hanging out," but actually looking for something and being amused on the way.

That is, of course, an important distinction.

The thing about the alien was that they looked partially like a normal human, clad in a sky-blue polyester suit. The human's head, though haired, was featureless.

Their actual face was as large as an American-made car. It was a huge, white, bloated stomach, like the whistling top hat dancers drunken fat men become for parades. Only this stirred some ancient terror. The eyes were wet and runny, like a sick cat or Leonardo DiCaprio. The nose was absent, save for a swelling of tissue, and the mouth was a bellybutton and a sphincter.

It was really hideous to watch him talk, but he seemed like a good friend.