By: Annna [2002-10-23]

On Staniel

on a red hill

Two weeks ago, little staniel winged his way over to Oregon for the 9th Annual H.P. Lovecraft Film Festival - details coming soon, I swear - and sundry other diversions. I had a pretty easy time finding him in Eugene's small airport - he was the first person to get off the plane dressed all in black and discreetly craning his neck - so I didn't get to break out my homemade "US OUT OF STANIEL" sign.

My sister later said that he looked eerily like the young Russ Tamblyn, so much so that she was petrified with fear when he made musical mention of being a Jet all the way, but what struck me the most about him was his teeth.

Staniel has the best teeth I have ever witnessed in person. Not counting, that is, my first week working as a nursing assistant when I kept wondering why all the old people had such straight, white and uniform teeth. That was different. Extensive observation ~~conducted while he was asleep~~ showed these to be all his own, two rows of milk-white marbles stacked by size and at attention to grind, gnash or grin. They weren't frighteningly large, like Osmond teeth, nor were they freakishly identical, the incisors as large as the canines. His teeth weren't an opaque bleach white or fluoride-mottled, just a dully translucent display of exposed headbone. He has really nice teeth. If you are luckly enough to have staniel require lodging in your town in the future, I urge you to invite him and take a look for yourself at a natural treasure.

It also turns out that he can sing just like a rare and precious bird. [387 KB]

(There's more, but I'm having a bit of a time uploading right now.)

[2002-10-24 00:31:36] twins

Yeahp, I always think to myself, ya know, Staniel seems like a guy who would have real purdy teeth.

Perfect except... [2002-10-24 00:34:42]

Staniel seems to be an all round perfect sort of person, save for being comically near-sighted without corrective lenses of some sort; perhaps this could be remedied with laser surgery or eyeball transplants. It is rather comical, or at least incongruous, that an otherwise perfect person is deprived of natural grace of movement by depth perception suitable to a Swiss watchmaker.

allusions [2002-10-24 06:21:49] albtraum

nice riddle and dune references, and i like the (sort-of) alliteration with "grind, gnash or grin".

according to the eddas thor used to ride around in a goat-cart, and his goats' names were Tanngnjostr and Tanngrisnir, that is, toothgnasher and toothgrinder. these were special goats because you could eat them and then they'd reassemble themselves. you just had to be careful not to crack the bones while eating them, or they would have problems the next morning when they respawned.

My teeth have a terrible secret. [2002-10-24 11:01:29] staniel

Thanks, though.

The second part of this pancoastal editor exchange brought Sean to the dirty East yesterday evening. We had drinks and cheesesteaks with the infamous Dino, and I think he fixed whatever it was that Annna broke, so who knows what today will hold?

Nameless person, you know too much.

Teeth [2002-10-24 11:35:16] Pop

Having seen them for myself, yes, it's like he has a mouth full of Chiclets.

But shouldn't the past tense of "wing" be "wang"? Wing/wang/wung.

Grin Tooth [2002-10-24 12:55:45]

Tanngnjostr and Tanngrisnir are the gnash tooth and the grind tooth; I think that Tanngpoon is the grin tooth.

also [2002-10-25 15:25:19] staniel

While talking to Sean about Oregon people, I got to thinking that Matie might have found my excessive knowledge of her pizza tastes unsettling. As you can see, it's just because I've read the archives so many times through, and there's hardly any chance of me showing up naked on the lawn screaming and carving her name into my chest with a pocketknife.

Pocket Knife [2002-10-25 15:52:48]

If you showed up with a pocket knife, Annna would sharpen it for you.

lactose intolerant or just doesn't like cheese? [2002-10-25 20:00:18] jhudsui

It's the later for me and my friends often give me shit about it when I dissect greasy, messy food before eating it.

Hard Cheese [2002-10-25 20:11:41] Chuang Cho

One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach

[2002-10-28 05:11:58]

I find I only eat easy-to-get-into-my-mouth food in public, and save making a pig of myself in private.
I would enjoy fast food if they gave me fast cutlery to go with it.

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