Zirealism

What... The... Fuck...

The bad news must be pretty bad; or in other words, there isn't anything but bad news and the guy might have a chance of an afterlife if he doesn't trip over the Lance of Longitudinus on the way out. Or maybe the other news was that there's moules for lunch.

i think that guy had the moules for lunch.

La pomme de terre tient toujours une place importante dans l'alimentation des français, avec 35 à 40 kg consommés par habitant! Pomme frite, merde! Mon Dieu! Sacroiliac!

I always admire the most hardened and tested Atheists. You come across a ninety-year-old man whose been through three wars and cancer and here him say, "Ayep, I haven't prayed since the thirties." And you just have to admire his convictions. Of course there's the ones that find Jesus right before they die, but that always seems insulting to me:

"Dear all loving omnipotent god. It's me, the humblest of your servants. Sorry about all those times I compared you to the Easter bunny. Please to be taking the Cancer away now."

And then there's the ones that dive in completely, and end up outside a Brazilian faith healing huckster's hut waiting to have their eyeball scraped and paying to have poultry giblets pulled out of their abdomen by a two-bit slight of hand artist all the while scorning the evils of modern medicine.

While we may not be able to prove that God doesn't exist, it has long since been demonstrated that appealing to God for intervention is effectively useless.

Which seems to be exactly the point of the Zirealism.

In comparison to last week's Zirealism, this week's has more clearly enunciated its point but is not nearly as much fun, what with the loss of the burning evangelists and all.

I do not find in our particular superstition of Christianity one redeeming feature.....Millions of innocent men, women and children, since the introduction of Christianity, have been burned, tortured, fined and imprisoned. What has been the effect of this coercion? To make half the world fools and half hypocrites; to support roguery and error all over the world.
--Thomas Jefferson

And what of these religions that are piggy-backed on a lot of outdated spew? At the end of the Bible, it says at the end of Revelations, "Neither take away nor add on" yet there are millions of people who have found new messiahs. It's all about the real estate. And whether or not you have a taste for mariscos and barbeque. Are you lactose intolerant? Then blow it out your ass!

That's telling 'em!
--The American Dairy Association

Missing from this weeks's Zirealism: The funny.

"One man's poison ivy is another man's spinach"
--George Ade

"One man's theology is another man's belly laugh."
-Robert Heinlein

Zirealism, much like the comics in the New Yorker, is far, far, far, too classy to indulge in this "Funny" of yours. Zirealism is droll. Perhaps jocular on occasions, certainly waggish, but never "Funny". Now be off with you, you odious ragamuffin, before I'm obliged to box your ears and rap you about the crown with my cane!

C'est droll, ca! Il est comme l'escargot et le moule ; vous ne connaissez jamais jusqu'à ce qu'il soit trop tard.

once Zirealism was accused of being sophisticated. Now it is accused of being classy. I blame Antwan.

Don't you suppose it is possible to believe in God without supporting all the atrocities done by men in his name? I am not here to preach, but come on. Just because there are countless thousands of apparent idiots that can't think for themselves following the various flavors of all the worlds given religions, does that mean that there isn't or shouldn't be a God? Which brings us to the real question. What, do you suppose, is the moron factor of the various world's religions? Please be specific.

...if patriotism is the last refuge of scoundrels, then religion must certainly be the first.

Of course. They're just rare as hen's teeth. When I was Catholic we called them "Saints". You strip away dogmatic idiots like St. Gianna Beretta Molla and mandatory sainthoods like the soon to be St. John Paul II, and you get people like Mother Teresa and St. Maximilian Kolbe (seriously, go look up St. Maximilian). That is to say, those who were actually following Christ's teachings, and in an organized religion no less! But, as I said, Saints are rare in any religion. What we normally get are the people who will pray for some poor bastard as they pass by his broken down car on the side of the road, or someone who volunteers at a pancake breakfast in the church's basement every third Sunday but never at a soup kitchen. For people who believe in eternal reward or damnation at the end of life's journey most Christians sure do as little as they can. And don't even get me started on that Sola fide "justification by faith alone" line of theological bullshit. Fucking Luther.

Not to say Atheist are any better. We're just more honest about it.

The Moron factor of most religions is infinite since no one can stop you from being the colloquial saint if you so choose.

I agree on both points!

Although if you are really inferring that I myself am a scoundrel, than I thank you for such a grand title.

"I am free of Prejudice. I hate everyone equally." -- W.C. Fields

What!?!? No waffles?

It's important to note, that often waffles are an option at various chuch-based pancake breakfasts. However, it has been observed, that choice in life can lead to a person determining that those that would hold sway over their souls are actually more interested in the opportunity for pontification than the true salvation of said souls. So thus it is, that a church risks its very congregation by offering choices as severe as to whether or not to have waffles for breakfast.

"Hello, I must be going. I'm glad I came, but just the same, I must be going. I'd stay a week or two, I'll stay the summer through, but I am telling you, I must be going."
--Groucho Marx

The Moron factor of organized religion is 0. Someone already came along and took a perfectly reasonable moral code, assigned it to some unavailable super-being and then decided that what this super-being really desired was our boot-licking adulation. Since that point, the forms and mores of organized religion have evolved far beyond any situation that could have been resolved by the removal of the original moron.