Fan Mail

'google' is obviously a euphemism...

Article #666: How the World Changed after September 11th. My first thought was that loving essay "I Hate Soldiers" by Jonas, but there are no mentions of flags in that one.

That's some damn good hate, though.

Look cunt, I'm descended from a long line of "rough men". Members of my family have participated in every major American conflict since the Great War. I've heard the tales of chemical burns, mental anguish, shrapnel wounds, and unfortunately I had to attend a funeral because of this latest Iraqi clusterfuck. For most of my life I lived on military bases, and my whole family pulled a hardship tour when I was three.

Let me tell you this: there isn't a man or woman in the armed forces who died for the flag. Some of them might have died for the constitution, rarely, but most died because they were told they had to be somewhere where people shot at them. Simplistic? Yes, but true. These days soldiers don't fight for our freedoms. They fight for economic and political supremacy, and occasionally moral concerns if it fits into the plan.

The people who do the most for liberte, egalite, and fraternite are us non-jingoistic ungood Americans who fail to get whipped into a frothing self-righteous hatefuck at the drop of a hat. It's people like you who get soldiers sent off to the front lines just because the Spanish blew up a boat or the Kaiser blew up a boat. We're not the ones who would cheer when US citizens get stripped of their possessions and sent off to special camps in the middle of the desert because a country their distant relatives came from recently blew up several boats.

For Christ's sake, you want to strip us of our God-given rights simply because we said things you disagree with. God only knows what lengths you'd approve of if you thought we did something to you, say... if we were said to have blown up a boat.

So really, my point is: The flag is esthetically hideous, the "Star-Spangled Banner" is set to an ungainly British drinking song, and the pledge of Allegiance slowly became a meaningless proto-fascist throwback (although the socialist who wrote it kicks tons of ass).

there was no God in the pledge of allegiance until the fifties. the weird thing about this letter is that I never see political content on things i hate. at least until hatless jack gave away the leftist conspiracy behind the scenes...

I don't know if Betsy Ross made the flag or not, there's some debate on this. I liked the "Don't Tread on Me" flag with the snake! I had a flag pole when I was a kid, maybe twenty feet tall, and made of real flag-pole wood, with a rope. I had an American Flag and a Pirate Flag. I was told to never let the flag touch the ground or you had to burn it. Anyway, after seeing American Pie, I will never eat apple pie again!

Cue-up Battle Hymn of the Republic! Lookie here, this is a Democratic Republic, but a Republic first and foremost. I just hope that flag-waving, bible-thumping cretin posts! Where's my L.A.R.T.?

I also prefer the "Don't Tread on Me" flag. Imagine if we'd stuck with that one, and chose the turkey as the national bird. Man oh man that'd be way better. Or imagine if they stuck with the DToM flag and somehow managed to hide a real snake in each one. Nobody'd burn it then!

Between this and some guy's live journal where he found and posted my personal contact info along with vague threats before realizing Jonas wrote the "I hate soldiers" thing, it's funny how many people who are so pro-America are also anti-Freedom of Speech.

I'd like to be thought of as a rough man....I could be rough a rough rider in a, you know, straight way!

I have this to say. The flag is a symbol. A symbol of ideals espoused by our founding fathers. This chick effectively just wiped her ass with those ideals. I believe this is far worse than letting it touch the ground. Life, liberty, the pursuit of happiness, freedom of speech, freedom of press, all nothing to her apparently. Not being an editor, I still feel a certain esprit de corps with them and those who regularly post here, as it is refreshing to know that there are other FREE-minded people willing to share their ideas in a FREE manner.

Jessica, get over your damn self and realize that you have to think independently of the dribble you've been fed or you will never truly be the American that all those that have died provided you the opportunity with being.

You people - the editors and regular posters - should be proud to be ridiculed by the likes of this chick. And based upon the posts I see in response, I will say that thingsihate.org definitely has a moron factor greater than 1! WOO HOO!

It is lamentable, that to be a good patriot one must become the enemy of the rest of mankind. -- Voltaire

I love America! But I love Prussia, too; and it's long gone, exept in the hearts and minds of a few. Nationalism is both good and bad. What is the world-role of America in the 21st Century? Instead of being able to fight 2.5 wars, maybe America should be ready to fight 5 or ten wars. What does it take to be the #1 Sooperpower and World Economic leader these days? Is the rest of the world going to let America lead the way, or is there some sinister agenda afoot? Will Dudley Doright arrive in time to prevent Snidely Whiplash from chaining Lill to the railroad track yet again!?!? Will Boris&Natasha finally defeat Moose&Squirrel!?!?

There seems to be "hybris in excelsia" in the land of the free.
Or in other words:
Freedom and humility doesn't go hand in hand so easily.

Nazi Germany. The country might have been evil, but the official party design team knew its shit.
Soviet Union. So well designed we're still putting it on t-shirts.
Greenland. That's just a damn good design.
Iran. More references to Allah and martyrdom per square inch than any other flag in the world, and it still manages to rock by western standards.
Mozambique. I would never complain about our flag if it had an M-16 and a baseball bat on it.

As for the flag we should have gone with, I'd agree with the "don't tread on me" flag but it would have to be the Gadsden design and not the Culpepper Ensign. The Culpepper Ensign helped introduce the horizontal stripes, and those just aren't going to look good. Ever. Also, we really should have kept with the rattlesnake mascot. People are afraid of rattlesnakes. No one in the history of the world has been afraid of a fucking eagle. Plus we'd get to put this in all the World Factbooks "National Bird: Timber Rattlesnake"

For the record, the worst designed flag in the world is Hawaii's.

You're a grand old flag,
You're a high flying flag
And forever in peace may you wave.
You're the emblem of
The land I love.
The home of the free and the brave.

Ev'ry heart beats true
'neath the Red, White and Blue,
Where there's never a boast or brag.
Should auld acquaintance be forgot,
Keep your eye on the grand old flag.

I feel happy that I don't have to type out long posts here anymore because you make all the correct arguments right off.

Assuming the "Hatless" is a lament: if there is anything I can do to make your experience more hatful, do let me know.

the moron factor of thingsihate has been calculated rather precisely. unfortunately, however, we cannot state that number here because we have also calculated that publication of the moron factor will attract exactly that many morons to the site.

Always good to keep such secrets. Just remember, keeping secrets could lead to suspicion that one is somehow unpatriotic, and by that reason, subversive. And we all know that any unpatriotic subversive must be a terrorist. Given that I have learned many great recipes for baking goods aw well as other things such as Annna's propensity for zombie killing in her dreams, it is an easy jump for the morons of the world to draw the irrational conclusions I indicated above....

You're a Randolph flag,
You're a Ha-waiian flag...

I'm the Yankee Dudelist! So, there! That's the end of that! Neener, neener!

I think it's against the law to Google the American Flag!

What kind of true "American" is she if she doesn't know everything about the American Flag by heart? this makes me sad

Last year, more than 1.3 million American flags were imported from China.

yankee dudelist

It's interesting that Jessica thinks you should "no longer have the right to do anything allowable in the Constitution of the United States of America" - aren't you just exercising your first ammendment right to free speach. I'm English and I know more about your country than you do... In other news your navy's flag (DTOM Jack) has just been voted by me and my mates "Dumbest Fucking Flag Ever"

Jessica, I too am English, and i agree with my English colleague. What PARTICULARLY peturbs me is the fact that in some sort of misguided attempt to FURTHER bastardise the English language into American you have gone a step too far with your spelling "foreward" and the context with which you use it. I fear you may have bastardised the American language and in doing so you will undoubtedly become the next victim of your own pent up rage against "un-americanism". I see a few weeks of self harming before a blood-filled-bath-end.

Having posted my previous comment I was pondering whether or not you did yourself an injustice with your little rant, however upon a second reading I did note that you MUST be a pathetically stupid (and quite possibly inbred) fucked up foolish gob job! my reasoning is clear, you wrote this:-

"The American flag stands for all that is free, and thanks to millions of americans, who defended this nation from its early beginnings to today, we can enjoy these freedoms."

After having ALREADY typed this:-

"From this second foreward, you should no longer have the right to do anything allowable in the Constitution of the United States of America."

Can you see your own contradictivity when it's right there in front of you in black and white?? You dozy
lip-licker!