Zirealism

Must be a slippery elm.

nah, she's just a yenta. Nothing's ever good enough, particularly anything that looks like life.

They'll probably cut her down and use the wood to make a drop-leaf table.

I thought her delivery was rather wooden.

You know why dogs lift their leg and pee way up on the tree? Because then the next dog that comes along will sniff it and say, "Wow! That sure was a tall dog!"

and ewww, he's been eating asparagus...!

There are robins and flowers blooming, but we are getting snow tomorrow! The maple trees are blooming soon to make leaves. Ok, ok. Why did the oak tree cross the road? Because it fell over!!!

friggin' fashionistas!