People I'd like to punch, hard, in the face

We need to get a class action lawsuit together about the Starz thing. I think all we'd need to present would be that commercial intercut with reaction shots from A Clockwork Orange.

There's probably a sniglet for ruining classical music like that. Also: bastard kissables, plus they don't even taste good.

But mostly I try to avoid doing battle with the idiots because it would keep me busy full-time. My current pet gripe is that there are at least a half-dozen short guys with bad attitudes in my neighborhood. I'm sorry you're short! I'm sorry that I'm taller and had to sit in the back of class. I never took your lunch money away from you, nor ragged you for being short. Get over it! I would like to punch all of the short guys with bad attitudes in the moosh! But, see? If I fight them and win, I'm a bully; and if I fight them and loose, I'm a wimp. So, you can't win with short guys. I would like to tell you that in addition to being short, you are also stupid! And punch you in the moosh!

1.) Every sanctimonious homophobe on Craigslist Rants & Raves who made some kind of pun on "Brokeback Mountain" in their message header before going on to talk about something only tangentially related even to homosexuality, much less the film itself.

2.) Nearly every single person who calls in to the public comment section of the newspaper I work for. Good fucking Christ. They're slavering, sanctimonious cretins who think somehow we're obligated to cover every single insignificant club event. I don't give a fuck if you're playing bingo on a Tuesday instead of a Thursday. I don't give a fuck if you have exercise bikes, a Nautilus machine or a motorized dildo at your health club. I don't give a fuck about you if you are too goddamn dimwitted to apparently even LOOK AT THE FUCKING FRONT GODDAMN PAGE of the newspaper before you start squawking on the voicemail about how unfair and negligent the newspaper is. Seriously people, go fuck yourselves, then call in about that. You can at least attest to biblical self-knowledge.

3.) Crossword puzzle authors who think I should know who pitched for the Pittsburg Tigers in 1973.

4.) People at accident scenes who will give me their name, talk about what happened, and then refuse to tell me the name of their dog, which survived the crash unscathed.

5.) The DJs at all the local classic rock radio stations.

Brokeback Mountain was full of FAGS.
It's true.

Also, the guy who invented pocky. Punch him, hard, inna face, too.

the two leads in Brokeback Mountain are two of the only actors in the world who are not gay.

actually.

but I don't want to punch them in the face. I want to punch Scott McClelland in the face.

Errrmm...OK Besides, you surely don't need my permission to punch anybody in the face, really hard. Although, if I sold permits to do that, it might be a regular gold mine.

That French neo-imperialist, Jacques Chirac, needs a punch in the face for letting a bunch of lazy students terrorize him into repealing the labor law revision. That'd teach him some real-politik.

Bernard Shaw, and anyone else who has recommended spelling reform in the past 200 years or so, in any language. It accomplishes nothing to make spelling logical: it wastes time for everyone and doesn't really make the written language any easier to use for the borderline retarded people who can't figure it out in standard form. Changes should be made by consensus: if everyone starts spelling "through" as "thru," that's when you change the dictionaries, not when some jackass decides to make himself seem important by pointing out that nobody pronounces the "gh."

It would get me on the tv.

And Jodie Foster would finally notice you.

If she wants to get eaten by Anthony Hopkins. But you know, although it was some great acting, in The Remains of the Day, he was so out of character that I want to punch him in the moosh!

Punch her in the moosh!

~maybe jodie foster does want to be eaten by anthony hopkins..after all hes balding in the frunt..that means hes so good he has to be pushed away...i suppose its better than being eaten by geoffrey dahmer~

"...that means hes so good he has to be pushed away..."

so, then, the bad ones get an axe in their heads?

..personally i wouldnt use an axe ...thats just another mess to clean up down there...as if 5 to 7 days a month aint enuff to deal with...
....oh yeah i would like to punch myself for not having the will power to NOT post lame ass comments...owwwie..phew that wasnt so bad, i punch like a girl....

Duct-tape a heavy-duty freezer bag on their head and then stick 'em with an ice pick. Then, punch them in the moosh! No muss, no fuss!

...if hes so lousy at doin the deed that it warrants takin the mutha~fucka on up out this bitch...chances r it will be relatively easy to multitask (time is precious)...a lil more to the left.... so why not make a list...
*one roll duct tape
*one box heavy duty freezer bags
*one ice pick
*one set of brass knuckles (if u punch like a girl)

I think that you can get all of that stuff from the Acme Corporation.

People I'd like to punch in the face

1: 90% of the people with a myspace account. I'm missing out the other 10% because I'd be tired from punching the faces of the first 90% and probably wouldn't be bothered to.

2: Everyone involved in the show Desperate Housewives.

3: Baptists

4: People who whine about the government of whatever country they're from and then don't fucking vote.

5: Contestants on Pop Idol who have all the innate musical ability of a deaf orang-utan, and then yell about how great they are and how they're still going to be the next big thing even though they suck like an industrial vacuum cleaner.

6: People who make lists titled 'people I'd like to punch in the face'. No, hang on.

My list too is long but the one on top is Tom Cruise... man why does ANYBODY care about this jackass?

1. Tony Blair (cos he does'nt listen to anything from the people)
2. George Bush (do I need A reason)?
3. Arnie ( I reckon i can take him)
4. Israel ( how do the persicuted get off by being the persicutors in later history. Way to learn of the Nazi's Guys)!
5. Christians who demand bloody revenge (Learn to turn the other cheek)
6. Gansta Rappas ( why not paint yourselves white get a hood and join the clan cos your doing their job for them better then they could. WORD!)
7. anybody who thinks that fundamentalism is a good idea (In fact anybody who does'nt keep their beliefs to themselves) (LIKE ME:)
8. all those in the top 100 rich list ( And I Know You Want To Too)!
9.God, Allah(Blessed be his name)Jehovah and any other diety who can be arsed to get in the ring)
10.Dame Shirley Porter
YES I DONT care if I have offened anyone. In fact if I havent offended you please e-mail me and im shure i will get around to you.
HAVE FUN
NE TE CONFUNDANT ILLIGITIMI