We Get Letters
a look into the thingsihate.org mailbag...
From: kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com <kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com>
To: editors@thingsihate.org
Date: Jun 19, 2006 10:44 PM
Subject: Question About thingsihate.org
I noticed you link to kittenstoyroom.com on your webpage http://thingsihate.org/article/540/the_j_geils_band_and_the_missing_vulva. I am emailing to ask you to link to our site, AdultSexToys.com, since we also offer adult toys. You can put a free link to your site in our directory if you would like, at http://www.adultsextoys.com/cgi-bin/links/add.cgi
Thanks,
Kyle
AdultSexToys.com
From: The Editors <editors@thingsihate.org>
To: "kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com" <kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2006 7:58 PM
Subject: Re: Question About thingsihate.org
Dear Kyle,
We here at thingsihate.org would be pleased to link to your website. It's important to remember, however, that in these days of e-commerce and the web 2.0, doing business on the super information highway often requires that one be willing to, how they say, "grease the palms."
Actually, considering your line of work, you may have taken that quite literally. Rest assured: applying lubrication of any sort to our hands will not be necessary for this transaction. (Though there was some recent unfortunateness, lasting several hours, involving a shiny object in a jar, where I could have used your help.)
An assortment of dildos, blow-up dolls, spermicidal jellies and bondage gear of leather and/or latex would make excellent prizes for one of our frequent contests. Just imagine it, Kyle: the latest thingsihate.org contest going full force, and proudly displayed at the top of each update: the first, second, and third place prizes -- quality products from AdultSexToys.com. The absolute cream of the online webzine writing world, masturbating at the speed of thought thanks to your shop. You can't buy that kind of publicity, Kyle, and I can well imagine that you are swelling (so to speak) with pride at the thought. If you have a sampler, this would be perfect.
thingsihate.org receives over 1 million unique hits per day from well-to-do, middle-aged women, a demographic whence, unless my sex toy lore fails me, your bread is buttered (not a euphemism).
Please think it over and get back to us, Kyle. At the very least, we are particularly interested in the Dr. Z Nipple Pleaser. With a retail price of just thirty dollars, we feel this is fair.
Yours truly,
The thingsihate.org editors.
PS - Is putting the free link to thingsihate.org in your directory conditional upon our adding a link to AdultSexToys.com on ours? The adult sex toy market is one we've been trying to penetrate (also not a euphemism) for a long time. We feel there is a lot of cross-marketing possibility there, and this is a business we would definitely like to get in bed with (not euphemism).
To: editors@thingsihate.org
Date: Jun 19, 2006 10:44 PM
Subject: Question About thingsihate.org
I noticed you link to kittenstoyroom.com on your webpage http://thingsihate.org/article/540/the_j_geils_band_and_the_missing_vulva. I am emailing to ask you to link to our site, AdultSexToys.com, since we also offer adult toys. You can put a free link to your site in our directory if you would like, at http://www.adultsextoys.com/cgi-bin/links/add.cgi
Thanks,
Kyle
AdultSexToys.com
From: The Editors <editors@thingsihate.org>
To: "kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com" <kyle@xxxxxxxxxxxx.com>
Date: Jun 26, 2006 7:58 PM
Subject: Re: Question About thingsihate.org
Dear Kyle,
We here at thingsihate.org would be pleased to link to your website. It's important to remember, however, that in these days of e-commerce and the web 2.0, doing business on the super information highway often requires that one be willing to, how they say, "grease the palms."
Actually, considering your line of work, you may have taken that quite literally. Rest assured: applying lubrication of any sort to our hands will not be necessary for this transaction. (Though there was some recent unfortunateness, lasting several hours, involving a shiny object in a jar, where I could have used your help.)
An assortment of dildos, blow-up dolls, spermicidal jellies and bondage gear of leather and/or latex would make excellent prizes for one of our frequent contests. Just imagine it, Kyle: the latest thingsihate.org contest going full force, and proudly displayed at the top of each update: the first, second, and third place prizes -- quality products from AdultSexToys.com. The absolute cream of the online webzine writing world, masturbating at the speed of thought thanks to your shop. You can't buy that kind of publicity, Kyle, and I can well imagine that you are swelling (so to speak) with pride at the thought. If you have a sampler, this would be perfect.
thingsihate.org receives over 1 million unique hits per day from well-to-do, middle-aged women, a demographic whence, unless my sex toy lore fails me, your bread is buttered (not a euphemism).
Please think it over and get back to us, Kyle. At the very least, we are particularly interested in the Dr. Z Nipple Pleaser. With a retail price of just thirty dollars, we feel this is fair.
Yours truly,
The thingsihate.org editors.
PS - Is putting the free link to thingsihate.org in your directory conditional upon our adding a link to AdultSexToys.com on ours? The adult sex toy market is one we've been trying to penetrate (also not a euphemism) for a long time. We feel there is a lot of cross-marketing possibility there, and this is a business we would definitely like to get in bed with (not euphemism).