Love
A poem.
I read this poem at a wedding recently. Sometimes Anne Landers posts inspiring poems.
Love is patient and kind;
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
Love does not read The DaVinci Code;
it does not disturbingly use the last of the toilet paper and leave an empty roll on the dispenser, as though there was by an amazing coincidence just enough toilet paper left on the roll as Love needed;
Love does not pull out in front of me at an intersection and proceed to take five god damned minutes to get up to speed, even though there was nobody behind me for miles;
it does not always spit out its gum because it actually believes that seven-years-to-digest bullshit;
Love does not insist on ordering a pizza with just cheese, as though that were even really pizza anyway;
it does not leave its earrings on the floor for someone to step on and practically require a tetanus shot;
Love does not sleep with its future brother-in-law and then, later, when he buys it that crystal dragon figurine its stupid pig of a financee would never realized it'd love, tell him it was "just a crazy, last-minute thing" that "could have been anyone" and then hand him some belittling shit about "always being good friends";
And love sure as shit does not push the fucking elevator button when it's already lit up
[Ed: He makes some good points. What else does love not do?]
love is not jealous or boastful;
it is not arrogant or rude.
Love does not insist on its own way;
it is not irritable or resentful;
Love does not read The DaVinci Code;
it does not disturbingly use the last of the toilet paper and leave an empty roll on the dispenser, as though there was by an amazing coincidence just enough toilet paper left on the roll as Love needed;
Love does not pull out in front of me at an intersection and proceed to take five god damned minutes to get up to speed, even though there was nobody behind me for miles;
it does not always spit out its gum because it actually believes that seven-years-to-digest bullshit;
Love does not insist on ordering a pizza with just cheese, as though that were even really pizza anyway;
it does not leave its earrings on the floor for someone to step on and practically require a tetanus shot;
Love does not sleep with its future brother-in-law and then, later, when he buys it that crystal dragon figurine its stupid pig of a financee would never realized it'd love, tell him it was "just a crazy, last-minute thing" that "could have been anyone" and then hand him some belittling shit about "always being good friends";
And love sure as shit does not push the fucking elevator button when it's already lit up
[Ed: He makes some good points. What else does love not do?]