The Laundy Room and the Panties (and the Bras)

Two weeks ago, I was doing my laundry in the Wilson laundry room.  I noticed a red pair of panties on the floor between two washing machines.

One week ago, I was doing my laundry in the Wilson laundry room.  I noticed a blue and white checkered pair of panties on the floor between two washing machines.

That's a 100% panty-on-the-floor rate during my visits over the past two weeks.  Going off this average, I'd have to assume that some girl loses a pair of undies in the wash every day.

Perhaps that number is a bit high, but obviously there's a problem with panties getting lost in the laundry room here.

I really hate when people walk off and leave their clothes in the washer or dryer and forget about them.  Especially the dryer.  It's a common practice here, if all the dryers are full and some of them have some stranger's dry clothes just sitting idle inside, to take the forgotten clothes out and set them on top of the dryer, so that the dryer can be used.

This would not be a problem for me if the dryer was just full of jeans and t-shirts, but they never are.

<open dryer> "Panties." <close dryer>

<open dryer> "Panties." <close dryer>

<open dryer> "Panties. Bras." <close dryer>

<open dryer> "Panties." <close dryer>

Despite the inherent drooling-perviness I'd feel touching some strange girl's undergarments, it would not help matters to have said girl walk in to gather her laundry and find me with a handful of her panties -- especially with the evident panty-loss that takes place here.

"I was just setting them on top of the machine so I could use the..."

"It's the panty thief!  Get him girls!"

Panties, bras, and hard little balled up fists of fury all flying through the air would be the last thing I would ever see.

[Ed.: Next entry in notebook, entitled "Laundry 2".]

Another astounding abundance of panties in the laundry room today. 

I found one machine where someone had taken out the load of forgotten, dry clothes within, set them on top, used the machine him/herself, finished and left.  Relief.  I can use this machine.  Until I saw...

DA DA DUM

A pair of panties flung carelessly over the control dial of the dryer.  NO.  I DO NOT NEED DELICATE PERMANENT PRESS.  I NEED COLORS AND WHITES.  WHY GOD WHY?

[Ed.: I remember this vividly.  It's not made up.]

I do not know how the previous person was able to use the machine with the panties covering the control dial.  Did he or she, after removing the previous operator's clothes and piling them on top of the machine, also need DELICATE PERMANENT PRESS, so it wasn't an issue?  Did the panties belong to the second person, the one who removed person #1's clothes?  This is very complicated.

For a second, I considered getting a yard stick or something, and carefully lifting the panties aside with that.  While I don't think I'd appear like some kind of pervert, I can't imagine what would happen if some girl were to walk in, see it, and exclaim "What the hell are you doing waving my panties around on a stick?" I'm sure there would be some sort of consequences.

Perhaps I could somehow make it so the women-folk in my building would not want to leave their underwear unattended in the laundry room.  I could spend all of my spare time there, chatting with them.

Me: "Dryin' bras, eh?  Yeah.  I got them too."

20 seconds of silence.

"I thought about buyin' me some panties once.  Yup."

10 seconds of silence while girl uncomfortably tries to ignore me.

"But then I figured, why buy panties when there's so many of 'em in here?"