Zirealism

The word "tightassed" throws up some red flags but I'm much more worried about the man's fingers looking like pubic hair. Also, the guy is wearing black lipstick and appears to have a somewhat bashed-in nose, a sure sign that blowjobbery was afoot.

guys suck! You should laugh at everything I do, no matter how little effort I put into it!"

"Where are the Biscuits of yesteryear?"

but it felt suspiciously like singing into a spatula.

I miss Sean.

Things were going along nicely, and then, poof, he's gone?

What's with the sudden adios?

there ponder that

...deleting spam comments from the website for the past week straight. I swear, like 20 a day. Here's a list of the IP addresses of the shitheads I've banned:

72.36.199.114
83.190.195.122
66.230.167.216
195.225.177.216
222.129.228.198
122.162.116.231
221.221.164.184
59.61.123.96
221.217.47.240
221.221.165.164
87.176.86.97

How are they doing it? Are they manually typing in the captchas? Have captchas been somehow defeated? Is there a bug letting them get around it? About 70% of the comments are posted by people in China. Do they pay people in China to enter captchas by hand?

Posthumous could make even a one panel comic about impoverished Chinese laborers whose sole job is to input captchas for their barely-coherent English spam gay.

Blowjobbery was afoot.

In the style of Choose Your Own Adventure!

Obviously, thingsihate is languishing under the cruel yoke of Zirealism, and while posthumous is dedicated, he cannot do everything. As we have all seen.

So we must step in and do something about it.

I will formulate the details in my head while pretending to work today and send something along THROUGH OFFICAL CHANNELS (ie, Sean or whoever is napping at the thingsihate.org keyboard that day) but in the meanwhile get the little hamster wheel in your heads a'spinnin' and contemplate Your Own Adventures we can Choose.

The entire last paragraph is a run-on sentence. Silly me.

An ugly, shriveled man is slouching in the corner, gesturing at you in a disturbing way. His name sounds French, but is spelled wrong. He claims that he is 19 years old, which horrifies you. Do you...

Buy a beer for him?

Kick him in the shins... hard?

Steal his sandwich?

Kick him in the shins.

But not hard. Hardness introduces a whole new dimension of soft pain. There is a type of sandwich called a reuben that you do not make with pastrami. Some things I remember, and others I have to piece together.

I was hit hard in the head five years ago (I'm told) and do not remember the intervening years. I am happy to see that thingsihate is still here. And zirealism. But Lou (the bearded fool) is long gone. Thank god.