By: staniel [2002-11-11]

How Insane People Get Here, Part IX

it's that time again

So, yeah, more wacky search referrers. This will be the usual list of things people have searched for (mostly on Google, with occasional foreign search engines and Yahoo, but never Ask Jeeves, even though they type in questions quite often) as it was when Annna posted the first of the series.

I was going to go for a repeat performance of Part VI, in which I tried previously-featured searches myself and linked them to what I thought were their best non-thingsihate results, and I guess I still will. I only had two that came up with anything interesting this time, though.

things+i+hate
clipart+of+being+scared+and+angry

With that out of the way, onto business.

Illustrated+use+of+bidet
picture+post+of+raven+the+black+cock+whore
value+of+incest

Never underestimate the value of incest!

cadillac+fucking+repair
vw+skull+picture

Oh man, I bet you could turn an old Beetle into a skull. I lobbied unsuccessfully for some time to get Annna or Matie to paint one of their respective Beetles flat black, stick a metal spike on the top, and call it a pickelhaub. Iron cross shaped sideview mirrors wouldn't hurt either.

"put+the+pick+in+there+pete"
"put+the+pick+in+there+pete"+sample

Hee! That scene from Dune teaches us that whenever you are doing something disgusting, you should sing to yourself about it.

how+soft+is+the+vagina

I'm not sure if this is a question or the first line of a poem someone was searching for.

Why+do+people+play+the+tuba
"rocked+in+the+cradle+of+the+deep"+tuba

Anyone who can find an mp3 of Rocked In the Cradle of the Deep as performed by solo tuba should let me know.

waffen+ss+t-shirts
where+to+buy+waffen+ss+t-shirts

If you run these searches, you actually get a lot of relevant results. Who knew?

"international+waters"+prostitute
miniature+washing+machine
t+shirt+slogans+you+know+the+meaning+of+gay

That would be so much cooler than the usual Queer As Folk shirts. Soon, you will know the meaning of the word "gay"!

why+did+elvis+never+have+intimacy+with+priscilla
how+fast+does+cat+urine+start+to+stink

Wasn't Priscilla his daughter? And doesn't it start, as it were, on contact with air?

salad+dispenser
enamel+toilet+urine
orange+stuff+shower+drain

Just the proximity of these on the list I've been keeping makes me think of this article. I don't want to think too long about urine eroding the enamel from toilets, I mean, they're made to withstand urine. That orange stuff, though, that's just rust.

Images+of+Apes+Drinking+Alcohol

Photos of simian debauchery tend to be isolated when they can be found at all, sadly. Someone needs to put together a gallery.

unordinary+words

Irony!

commodore+64+porn

That wouldn't be very effective.

dog+ate+a+stillborn
pictures+of+funny+looking+asians
shaving+and+labia+majora

Hey, someone got it right! No more shaving vaginas!

crackers+n+satan+-illustration

The text-only version of Crackers 'n' Satan.

wet+t+shirts+with+titty+milk
can+i+see+kids+dicks
can+i+see+kids+dicks+pictures

No, you can't! That's against the law.

what+happen+if+louis+xiv+had+never+existed
chinamen+jokes
ugly+possums

Ugly? How could you even tell?

uncle+jack's+sex+place
hot+scallys
pictures+of+people+having+sweet+sex
articles+on+women+who+like+to+fuck+big+cocks

A scholarly article, I'm sure.

freeway+beanie+Night+shift

I'm sorry, what?

rapture+balloons+arkansas

Nope, that was a hoax.

pictures+of+parakeet+penis

"What?" I was thinking, "do parakeets even have penises?" Later I decided that this person was looking for a picture of a parakeet standing on a penis. That's not much better.

black+egg+org
facial+cum+org

Black eggs and facial cum may impress the plebes, but the Sea Org has those rocking uniforms. It's worth a million year contract for that alone.

conclusion+on+child+psychology

I conclude that child psychology makes milk go sour and causes lambs to be born with two heads!

dichotolydonous

Oh, this is a typo. It's supposed to be dicotolydonous.

rocket+penis+pic

I've been advised this may be David Byrne-related. It has to do with the video for "She's Mad".

dagon+temples+today
pictures+of+molech
ANTON+LEVEY'S+HOUSE

Ah yes, the occult. WHOSE HOUSE? ~~RUN'S~~ ANTON LAVEY'S HOUSE!

why+superheroes+are+dumb

Only bricks are dumb! Not even all of them.

peroxide+cures+colds

Lou Duchez to the front desk please.

picture+of+an+axe+in+the+ceiling
"palladium"+"children's+birthday"

These referrers are giving me party ideas!

songs+that+can+be+played+backwards+that+have+the+devil+speaking

EVIL

how+to+clean+anything
how+to+sop+up+ur+car
how+do+you+make+your+toenails+grow+quicker

HOW TO USE A SEARCH ENGINE

sister+nude+is+art+pic
www.salad+bar+of+sex.com
I'm+naked,+nobody+cares

I would totally go to that salad bar of sex site.

stabbing+a+duck+story

Can you make do with beating the duck?

"sit+on+a+block+of+ice"

Heeeeey, sit on it.

ANIMALS+TO+ANIMALS+F+U+C+K+I+N+G

First comes love, then comes marriage, then comes animals with a baby carriage!

The+internet+was+invented+specifically+for+displaying+pictures+of+one's

Cat?

learn+to+upholster+toronto
picture+of+a+shark+with+a+laser+beam+on+its+head
pictures+of+the+welcome+stranger+nugget

Okay.

underage+insect+porn

Ha ha!

wonders+vulva+to+see
gay+leather+bar+king+of+prussia

Triple ha!

when+it's+not+lymphoma
ironic+a+very+old+man+with+enormous+wings
Adding+genitals+to+mesh
Old+Dog+Up+and+Down+the+Hill

The old man with enormous wings is actually a puppet show and a short story.

cthulhu+nude
pictures+of+me+haveing+sex+with+the+horse

You really should keep track of where your own horse porn pictures are.

cartoon+hand+4+life
can+science+find+the+way+to+get+where+herpes+hide+and+eliminate+it
spy+in+a+toilet
women+dressed+as+ninja+nude
onion+seller+sex+images
modest+pictures+dead+or+alive+volleyball

Please stop breaking my brain, internet.

Is+David+Lynch+David+Byrne

This warrants investigation.

bull+dick+cane
car+salesmen+are+good
funny+t-shirts+-I+am+not+sad

It'll take more than t-shirts to charm you up. Try a bull dick cane, or a car salesman.

can+i+put+spray+foam+in+my+anal
hand+gesture+icons+mandatory
you+know+you+are+portugese+when
dental+school+is+for+pussies
orange+peels+and+toothpaste+to+trip

Okay, so, all of you people are on orange peels and toothpaste?

things+to+do+other+then+self+harm
site+in+which+shemales+can+be+seen+and+the+whole+sit+should+be+free
cavaricci+pants+plus+size
www.I+see+dead+people+pooping
CAUTERIZATION+OF+THE+NOSE
"michael+moore"+asshole+jpg

See, there are plenty worse things to do than self-harm! Shemales! Early '90s pleated pants! And man, I don't even want to see Michael Moore's movies, much less his private area.

obituary+for+bill+nye

Do not be alarmed. This is a falsehood.

Okay, so, we're done for today. I hope, as always, that someone enjoyed this.

Long Pigs [2002-11-11 15:20:10] Abercrombie N. Fitch

I was reading about the biophysicists breeding pigs with four extra ribs, so that in effect the pigs were longer and had extra pork chops. This seems like a good idea, to have pigs sort of like wiener dogs, very long and short, except maybe with giant hams so that they'd be tall-in-the-back and short-in-the-front but long with lots of extra ribs and sausages, and tusks for truffle-rooting.

okay [2002-11-11 16:55:44] staniel

Added some new stuff. This was up for about 45 minutes half-finished.

relevant link [2002-11-11 17:21:45] noisia

commodore 64 porn

5lb. Ball of Bellybutton Lint [2002-11-11 21:21:55] Abercrombie N. Fitch

5lb. Ball of Bellybutton Lint

Dancing gets her higher than anything else she knows whoa-oh [2002-11-11 21:41:00] Jonas

Can we still order copies of ROCK OF EVIL? Also, what I hear you do is stick a piece of chewed-up gum on an orange peel, and let it sit and mold for a few months. Then chew the gum. The risk is that you don't know how high you're going to get, but if this is your recourse you probably aren't too concerned. Actually, you're probably drunk on mouthwash anyway. And they call junkies dirty!

[2002-11-12 00:48:07] nameless

I think if you leave anything on an orange skin for a few months you get quite a hit off of it, but then eating mold always has that kind of effect.

freeway+beanie+Night+shift [2002-11-12 01:57:53] albtraum

i know! i know! the rapper beanie sigel, one of jay z's sidekicks known for his video-game-themed single "mac man" off his surprisingly good first album "the truth", has, in turn, his own protege named freeway. night shift i dunno, maybe a track they did together

i would like to see that "you know you are portuguese when..." list. what are the answers? "...you speak the portuguese language"? "...you live in lisbon"? "...your name is nelly furtado?" whee!

Presleys [2002-11-12 08:50:39] Sean

Priscilla was his wife. Lisa Marie was his daughter. Don't you read tabloid headlines when you stand in line at the supermarket?

furtado [2002-11-12 13:32:44] noisia

nelly furtado is from my town (victoria, bc) so every three days or so the local newspaper (times colonist) does a story on how utterly radical and awesome and neat and cool and fresh and fly and dope and just plain good she is since pretty much nothing happens around here and no one famous is from here (i guess some of the swollen members? they don't really count though. oh wait, no, there is HOT HOT HEAT who have HOT HOT CHLAMYDIA and have given it to all the whorey indy emo sluts in town so be careful when in victoria if you're putting your dick in someone wearing black frame glasses with no lenses since they might have the creeping crotch rot) and my friend's sister went to school with her omg!

Sean [2002-11-12 13:33:35] staniel

I do, but I retain about as much information from them as I do from other sources.

Victoria [2002-11-12 13:37:15] Jonas

I'm sitting here trying to think of who famous came from Victoria, and really, there's nobody. For reasons forever unknown (or maybe the film school), my roommate is moving there soon, sending me up the creek, or looking for a new roommate/place to live. Umm... didn't Smashing Planets write a song about Tofino?

hot hot chlamydia [2002-11-12 14:42:53] aspcp

I saw the new Hot Hot Heat album in the store and thought it was a new Make Up album. Man, was I disappointed.

famous hometown!

Perry Mason [2002-11-12 15:44:54] Abercrombie N. Fitch

I remember someone pointing out Raymond Burr's house in Burnaby. Celso Furtado was prominent in ECLA, the UN Economic Commission on Latin America. The Portugee language started because a king had a speech impediment and declared that everyone speak as he did the mangled spanish. Life is full of unraveled mysteries. Elvis could never get his sideburns the same length. His sideburns were named Mike and Linda.

apparently... [2002-11-13 01:13:12] albtraum

life is also full of urban legend-mongering of tom-waits-like proportions. i don't mind when tom waits does it.

Rocket Legend [2002-11-13 02:21:26] Abercrombie N. Fitch

This Mark Leyner book that I'm reading, he talks of a car that he had with a cryogenically fueled motor and two strap-on jato rockets, which reminds me of the urban legend of the guy who strapped a take-off rocket engine onto an alligator that he'd found in the sewers of NYC.

poor petey [2002-11-13 10:01:09] posthumous

I can't see Petey's head. Your cgi seems to be putting a ton of backslashes in front of quotation marks. Not a good thing.

You mean... [2002-11-13 10:19:43] Abercrombie N. Fitch

You mean...
file:///%22/images/peteyhead.gif///////////////%22

FUCK PETEY [2002-11-13 11:48:53] Sean

ok, yeah, so i haven't had time to figure out why the hell apache 2.0 won't let me specify php flags for individual files, so every time one of the editors updates the news it puts in the goddam "magic quotes" all over the damn place resulting in site-messing-up backslashes

Early Simula [2002-11-13 12:02:12] Abercrombie N. Fitch

Early Simula was a weird programming language; it had a 2,000 line limit for programs, but no limit for line length. Because of this quirk, punctuation within lines was particular, and there was lots of unusual punctuation. In effect, each line could be a program, or series of programs, and then blocked together in groups of up to 2,000--I guess that it was handy in that there were a lot of off-the-shelf library routines that could be cobbled together. Simula was derived from Algol.

the planet smashers [2002-11-13 17:17:34] noisia

surfing in tofino. i think they might be playing a show here at some point if the guy that organises every single show (99% shitty local punk) here can set it up. it'll be a super orgy porno party or whatever with the catchy third wave ska i'm too lazy to dislike.

Imports [2002-11-15 06:33:12] Abercrombie N. Fitch

Most of our imports come from other countries.

Imports [2002-11-15 13:14:51] Lord 742

What are you, some kind of anti-American terrorist lover?

Just Say "NO" to Imports [2002-11-15 13:37:23] Abercrombie N. Fitch

Use it up
Wear it out
Make it do
Or do without
--WWII Ration Board Slogan

Stop the Cartel!
Grow your own!

Damn [2002-11-15 23:52:36] Jonas

I got their name wrong. I'm almost embarrassed.

Please! [2002-11-16 08:01:54] Abercrombie N. Fitch

Please don't hate me because I am beautiful!

Hate you cos you're beautiful [2002-11-16 14:52:24] Jonas

Heath Ledger is the new Matt Damon.

Also [2002-11-17 03:35:12] Jonas

Dog balls.

Volcanoes [2002-11-17 04:43:44] Abercrombie N. Fitch

Volcanoes are the dog's balls! Especially winning one!

DOG BALLS [2002-11-17 09:25:17] casey

dog balls.

Casey [2002-11-17 13:10:09] Jonas

Did you mean "faggy", or "foggy"? Cos I think morning people are pretty foggy too.

freeway+beaniesiegal [2003-01-15 17:57:00] Anissa Israel

Ilove freeway the way he look his style i got all pictures of beans freeway as of matter of fact the whole roc-a-fella. iam the biggest roc fan there is i know every freeway song on the best of freeway an nightshift is my favorite even though it is not on there. iam telling you if you could me a email i wold love it forreal gangsta to gangsta oh also my cousins the speedknots are trying to get sighned with you all we are from parkside camden new jersey (psm) (cmd) holla

your site [2003-06-03 09:26:00] ?????????

I think your site is fuckin gay cuz you have no pics of people crapping their pants on your main site. Your a F***** retard!!!!

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