Zirealism

It is the biggest flaw of Democracy that by aiming for the greatest good for the greatest number it does produce a bland brew of bureaucratic bilgewater upon which the likes of Mr. Keeney thrive.
--Thom Pain

Well, OK, it's not the biggest flaw, but it's way up there!

What's up with that calendar beside him? What month is that? Because sometimes, I'm much more entertaining on different months (Any months ending in "r")

Is it that time of the month? Or can you entertain?

That's January. The picture is of Clarinda, Iowa's Annual Squirrel Slide.

This comic seems to be kind of anti-cubicle, though I may just be reading too much into it. I hate cubicles too, but I wish to remind the artist and viewers that the alternative is not a nice, comfortable, private office for everyone, or even a larger number of such offices to be distributed among the workers. The alternative is a 1950s style office pool, just rows of desks on a big open floor, which means less privacy. Not more. And there are the same number of individual offices for management, they're just bigger.

Let me tell you fellers a little somethin' 'bout cubicles...

Two and a half years I done worked at my current employer. When I started here, my department was off in their own suite, across the parking lot from the rest of the business. Because it was a pretty small department, there were offices a-plenty. So I had my own office, and I have to say, it was nice.

I turned my desk around so when people came in they'd see the back of my monitor. What is Sean working on at his desk? Is he working hard? Or is he surfing porn? WE JUST DON'T KNOW BECAUSE WE CAN'T SEE HIS MONITOR.

ICQ, AIM, IRC, Napster, Kazaa, Morpheus, WinMX, Yahoo games, oh how I slacked. Sometimes I'd even close my office door if other people started bothering me.

I liked my office.

But not long ago, it all came to an end. The company figured out that it'd be more cost effective to have my department's suite sit empty and unused, so they could claim it as a loss on their taxes or something, than it'd be to actually use it. So everyone was moved over to the main building. And do we still have our own nice offices? No we do not. We're not in tiny cubes, where you hear everyone else and you can't have a private phone call and everyone sees you slacking if you're talking on IRC.

And it gets worse. Because I'm leaving the company in a few days, I chose the crappiest cube of them all. It's the smallest, and it's right by a door. So not only do I have to hear the door opening and closing all day, I have to hear everyone's stupid remarks every time they go by.. "Hey, workin' hard, or hardly workin'? Huh huh."

And it's not like the old days where I could have sent someone an instant message saying "this guy is a moron. how i hate him." because now it'd be more like "this guy is a moron. how i hate him. he's looking over my shoulder watching me type this now."

Thank goodness I've only got three more days of this.

At the new place I'm going to work, I'll be sharing an office with three other people. But it's a pretty large office. It's a large room with two large table-desk things in it, with two people at each. The only thing that makes me a bit nervous is the guy who'll be sharing my table-desk thing is always playing music, and his taste is rather questionable.

This cartoon is not didactic. It is, rather, a character study.

It's not what kind of cubicle, or if you have a corner office window, or if you wear a grey suit, a blue suit, or a dashing pinstriped suit; it's that you are not loggers, pirates, or indian-fighting pioneers anymore. All of the pillaging and plundering these days is done on Wall St. or from the CEO's office. Instead of bending a wench over the rail, just buzz the company punch and bend her over your mahogany desk. Feh! Youse is getting soft, the bunch o' youse. I bet not one of youse can tie a decent monkey's hand or shoe a horse. The point of it is that many lives are now packaged deals that come in a little box, if you call that living; hence, trying to find an angle from which it looks interesting.

I've been working on a kernel
All the livelong night.
I've been working on a kernel
And it still won't work quite right.
All the queues are always empty
All the pointers nil,
All I get are run-time errors
Buffers that won't fill.


It's the economy.

The biggest flaw of democracy is that it relys on the people believing and being interested in it. Its been proved many times that more than 50% of the population don't give a damn and the rest are all asssholes.

nameless, when mozilla dropped his cookie again.

I know these things because I am a Cowboy Logger Pirate!

A big problem with this two-party Democratic Republic is that it establishes a polarity, you get to choose either this or that; just see what happens if you want the other. Oh, well. With liberty and cubicles for all.

I hate these two girls at my school, Montclair State University. There names are Steve McQueen and James Garner. Last year, they both tried to make my life miserable and I wanted to fuck them both up, but here at my school, you can get expelled. Neither of those dumb, ugly bitches is worth my education. When I graduate though...it is on.

I was going through the death of both my grandmothers, the imprisonment of my father, the loss of my dogs, and my mother and family moving to MA (I'm in NJ), and all my roommate, STEVE MCQUEEN, could say was that she didnt want Sam (my fianc) to visit our room. I am going to marry Sam. He is all I had. She didnt even have a reason. She just said she thought it had to do with her level of comfort. She said she is not used to being around guys. Who believes that bullshit?

We live on a coed college campus, and she is in an organization that has its fair share of men. I really wanted her to have a good reason, but the bitch didnt. I took it personally, and so did Sam. He was always polite to her, and he didnt bother her in any way. I thought about moving out of the room, but I have so much stuff. I did not feel like moving all this stuff to another room. We went through mediation twice. I cant go into detail about everything, but I have been so good. If this were any place but college, I would have seriously hurt the bitch.

1) She erased my mothers messages off the answering machine. There are two boxes. There was no reason for her to touch it. My mother left me a message telling me that she has to have surgery (and I didnt get to hear it). Instead, she told me again, days later, when we spoke. I was on the phone with my mother last week and she was telling me about the procedure she has to have done, and my roommate and her friends were being loud as hell.

How many times can I tell my roommate that my mother lives in MA? She answered the phone; she knew it was my mother. I had to ask her and her friends to quiet down, and they still didnt. When I asked them, they were low for about a minute, then got even louder than they were before. Then the bitch had the nerve to say in Creole that I had my music and TV on. I did, but they were not loud.

2) She let her weave fall out in the bathroom and took a day to clean it up.

3) I should have known I was in trouble when this girl moved in because the first day she moved here, she had her period on herself. She washed her panties out in the sink (as if there isnt a free washing machine down the hall) and put them in the window to dry.

4) She studied for five hours, with me being quiet (since that is in our mediation contract). Then got mad when I put the TV on. I gave her five uninterrupted hours. We got into this big argument, and she had to go get an RA. Well, I got to watch the television.

5) Sometimes she tries to schedule her studying so that it will coincide with one of Sams regular visits.

6) She didnt want any of her friends to know that she and I hate each other. She said she doesnt want to be gossiped about. Why would her friends gossip about her if they were her friends?

7) She said to me, in front of our RA, Dont mess with Haitian girls. Haitian girls have attitudes. I told her I can get an attitude too. Even the RA was offended, although she tried to keep smiling.

8) I dont know if she is jealous of my relationship with my fianc or what, but she always acted up (and still does) whenever Sam was around. When he and I were sleeping, on a few different occasions, she would come in, making noise. She jangled her keys, banged the closet and bathroom doors, and slammed her dresser drawers. She went in and out of the room, letting the door slam.

9) She wouldn't lock our door. This led to the second mediation session. I would leave our room, and when she would leave, she would leave the door unlocked. I am the one one with all the valuables. At the mediation session, she claimed that she never left the door unlocked and that she always double-checked. Then she agreed to lock the door and once we were back to our room, alone, she couldn't lock the door. How the hell do you forget to lock the very same door that you have been locking for more than six months?

We move out in a week, and I can't wait. If we fight on campus, we get kicked out of school, but if I see this bitch off campus, I am kicking her ass. I hate her more than I have hated anyone in my entire life.
-Montclair State University
This was in 2001

I would put the bad mojo on that ho'! If it wasn't enough about all of the disrespecting of your family situational stuff and Sam, the part about the ho's damn weave falling out in the bathroom would have done sent me ballistic on the beyotch, and I would have put my size 13 Timberland up her damned ass so far that her grand children would have got a bloody nose. Plus, I would have got out the Graveyard Dust, VooDoo Candles, Skulls & Dead Chickens, and put the bad Santeria Mojo on her.

Its the best I could find.

There are two fundamental problems with .our. democracy, and staniel partially hit on one of them - apathy - but i'll get to that in a minute.

The first problem is that it was never intended to be 'two-party', 'three-party', or whatever, type of system. Go read the relavent original documents (consitution, bill of rights, etc). The two party system was instituted by the SUPREME COURT sometime in the early 20th century (could be off on the date). The point is that's about the time when our government really went to shit. By having this two party system, the interests of the parties, and not really the interests of the citizens, are given the most weight, etc etc, you know the rest. But this was never intended!

Major problem #2: Apathy. This is not just 'an american thing', but a product of our times and good fortune - now that Europe is really catching up to us in standard of living, they're starting to have the same thing happen, and as long as people are fat, dumb, and happy, the comman man's interest in government wanes. The places where the average man is seriously involved in his government is where there is struggle: Venezeuala, Africa, places like that. Don't complain too much though people - the reason people are so involved is because their lives suck ass, they're very poor, and very downtrodden.

I'm just musing - i don't really have a suggestion or anything - but if anyone else does, let me know. But I know one thing: It isn't communism. Communism, like grading on the curve (if you REALLY know how that works, you know what i mean), promotes mediocrity more than anything else, and anyway, there has never been a true communist society. Stalin made sure of that.

One friend said he thinks this is pretty much corporate feudalism, I looked and there are writings on that topic. So what it is according to this is that the elections and donkey&elephant show are so much window dressing because power is corporate and economic, real voting power is by stock proxy, and traditional political boundries on the map don't indicate real geopolitical entities anymore, some of which are overlayed over each other with interlocking corporate directorships. Probably the best kind of corporation is one entirely without cubicles, but no more than a P. O. drop box in Lichtenstein.

WHAT THE HELL DOES ANY OF THIS HAVE TO DO WITH ANYTHING

First of all, it is a strategy designed by little lawn gnomes who live in cubicles in Zurich so that you will get a dull, throbbing headache and buy more aspirin from the international phamaceutical cartel; and second, everything has something to do with everything else according to Seven Degrees of Bacon, Werner Heisenburg, and Hogan's goat.

You should know by now that the wages for no thingsihate.org updates are inane non sequitur's.

Only you can stop this madness! Send your article to the editors today!

Yes! Let us have logically sequential articles on townies with hair weaves of fake dreadlocks who eat bovril and bangers. Not that the fake dreadlocks eat bovril and bangers, but they could for the sake of plot line continuity. And they should live in cubicles. Not the bangers and bovril, but they could. For the sake of plot line continuity.

I DON'T CARE WHAT THAT NAMELESS PERSON WROTE. THIS IS NOT A LIGHT MATTER. IT IS A REAL ISSUE AND STEVE WAS TOTALLY WRONG. IT WAS MORE THAN HER BEING INCONSIDERATE. THE BITCH TRIED TO RUIN MY LIFE. I WAS GOING THROUGH A TERRIBLE TIME AND SHE ONLY MADE IT WORSE WITH HER STUPID SHIT. AND BY THE WAY, WEAVE IS FAKE HAIR THAT BALD HEADED BITCHES PAY TO HAVE STITCHED OR GLUED OR BRAIDED ONTO WHAT LITTLE HAIR THEY HAVE.

Haitians, Haitians, the worst of all nations!