Zirealism

here at my new place of work, I had a brand new monitor, and within two days someone had got their dirty goddam greasy fingerprints all over it. I am going to keep a ruler by my desk (it'll probably have centimeters on it goddam it) and whack any hand whose fingers wander near the surface of my monitor

Cyber sex nor phone sex just don't work for me, but I like the cult of "crack whores" who suck the glass (cathode) tube. That will disappear with flat screens. I have pretty much quit cleaning keyboards since I got a half-dozen new keyboards surplus. I try to keep the screen clean, but stuff seems to accumulate in the corners that I have to attack with Windex and paper towels. I try not to sneeze or laugh explosively, you know, that beer through the nose thing. Also, people sure choose some goofy screen names, huh?

Posthumous... you have surely raised the bar. *salute*

I know what you mean about those filthy damn people, do they lack the motor control to point to something on the screen without physically touching it, have they never heard of using the pointer that is controllable with the mouse? Whats worse is when they grab a pen and start scribbling on the screen with it.
These same filthy damn people have also never heard of cleaning, they can't clean their mouse or keyboard and so they end up coated in thick brown/black dirt marks. FILTH FILTHY FILTH, get away from me unclean heathens!
The only problem with having centimetres on a ruler is that they aren't millimetres. Whilst imperial measurement might help you get the idea of working with stupid base's it has no other reason for existance. ;P

I like using dry erase markers

mr or mrs mozilla, you're being a tad redundant

you know what i hate?!?!?!? WICKER IT JUST DRIVES ME INSANE!!!!

If you've ever had to do math with feet&inches, you might see the advantage in metric. Engineers have a saying, "The only people who use inches are carpenters and c*cksuckers."

Well, that sure helped meet my MDR for bioflavinoids!

I know exactly what you mean by "c*cksuckers"

Why am I not surprised? You sure as hell ain't no wood butcher.

I'm sure my head will be smacking into that bar next week.

My bottle of iced tea was awfully fizzy. Do I have to worry about iced tea exploding? Should I stop shaking my iced tea?

burn

Snapple can kill you!

"Snap Your Fingers, Snapple Your Neck"?

This was a plastic bottle of Nestea. And how did you know my neck was sore? Are you one of the anonymous people I see everyday? Are you in a cubicle nearby... somehow aware of my obscure existence while I am clueless of yours? Or are you a treacherous intimate?

Jonas... Judas....

He has that lean and hungry look.

I do my own grocery shopping!

He's a man who paddles his own canoe.