Zirealism

Duck!

(insert penis joke here)

In the middle of harvesting, one of the farmhands had to obey the
call of nature. He went to the edge of the field and started to pee.
Most unfortunately, he was stung by a bee right on the tip of his
penis. The pain was unbearable, but he remembered a piece of good
advice. He went to the farmer's house and put his penis in
buttermilk. At that moment, the farmer's daughter walked in. Her face
red, she stood perfectly still looking at him. "Have you never seen
one of these before?" the farmhand
asked. To which the girl replied, "Yes, but this is the first time
I've seen one being reloaded!"

You just ruined buttermilk for me forever. I can only look back upon the warm, rancid summer days...

I should have added: "Kids! Don't try this at home!"

I checked out Heir... errr... Biscuit's post and then "played" Nintendo for "two" hours. When I came back to check on the site (Yes, I MUST obsessively check this site for updates) I got a "This domain name has been registered blah blah blah" page. For a minute, I thought Hieronymous's joke had brought down the site... until I realized I was at thingihate.com

It would take more than a puny jest to jam this site for we are made of sterner stuff being Cross-Dressing Vampires from the Fourth Dimension.

oh yeah.. through blackyak... y'all rock and stuff.. ;-)

Hey, come back tommorrow. We're having a party and Hieronymous Biscuit is picking up the bill.

(insert duck joke here)

http://thingsihate.org/files/toon37.gif

I'm lazy

oh, before I go to bed and dream of candy and underaged girls, I just realized something, I RIPPED SOMETHING OFF THE SITE! ...but does it count if I use it on the same site I ripped it off? Sheesh... I gotta lay off the paradox's before bed.

Sweet dreams

Thanks for ripping off and reposting the cartoon. But a cartoon is not a joke. That it was titled "toon37.gif" not "joke37.gif" might have given you a clue if you were not so addled on dreams of bad candy and bad junior high school girls with pierced tongues.

One day three ducks (who were brothers, I think I should mention that they were brothers) were in a pond argueing over who was the most charming.

The first duck said "I'm the most charming because I have the largest beak" Then he went over to a female duck and tried to seduce her. The duck of course shunned him.

The second duck said "I'm the most charming because I have the largest feet" Then he went over to a female duck and tried to seduce her. The duck of course shunned him.

The third, and I should probably mention that this is the final duck so you guys can stop worrying about this joke going on and on forever, duck said "I'm the most charming because OH GOD, WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU TWO?"

Both ducks were rubbing up against a hunting decoy. "what?" they asked? "We've had a good run"

"THAT HUNTING DECOY LOOKS JUST LIKE MOM!"

This guy goes up to a movie theatre and he has his
duck with him. He asks for two tickets.
The ticket sales lady says,
"Sir, we don't allow ducks in the theatre."
"What? (sez he) I mean you have to let him see
the movie. He's a big fan of the director,
he's seen all this guy's films."
Sales Lady sez, "No. I'm sorry, it's our policy."
So, the guy darts around the corner and sez to the
duck, "Look, I'll put you down in my pants -- it'll
only be until we get inside, and then I'll let you
out."

So, he does this, and then goes back to the ticket
booth.
The lady sez, "What happened to the duck?"
Guy: "Oh, I explained it to him. So, he's just
going to go home and watch a video."
So the guy goes in and takes a seat right up front.
The lights go down, and the movie starts, and he
un-zips his pants and the duck sticks his head up
to watch the movie.
A few minutes later, these two girls come in and
sit right next to him -- they're also big fan's
the director's films.
First girl (whispers to her friend):
"Psst, Psst. Cindy! This guy, next to me
has his THING out!
Cindy: Look, it's not like you haven't
seen one of those before.
"Yeah, but this one is eating my popcorn!"

Since I ruined buttermilk for Dez, I figured I should go ahead and ruin popcorn.

Margot Glass.

Was there something wrong with my joke?

It was a perfectly fine duck joke, Antwan.

I'm a horrible failure in life!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

So there was a duck who worked in the Stock Market. He told people to sell Yahoo at 200, so he was pretty well respected, for a duck. His troubles started when he moved to the Asian markets, culminating in his disastrous trip to Peking.

A duck walks into a bar and orders a drink. He sees a beautiful woman but doesn't have the nerve to ask her out. He has a few more drinks and by the time he gets up enough nerve to ask her out, he's drunk. He stumbles over and asks her, "Hey baby, you wanna duck?"

posthumous, I enjoyed this comic (as usual), and I would like to see more involving bees.

antwan, that anecdote is far too bland and confused to be a joke. are you a precocious seventh grader, or a mildly retarded adult?

Hey, I don't go to your job and start slinging big words around like some sort of slinging thingy

Steal something from 665 to sling at him! And don't yell "duck" first!

Childish seventh grader? Retarded Adult? U.S Senator? The hero from a popular anime series???!!?! no!

I am the butt puzzler!

I should send Sean a donation, we've probably used up the bandwidth for the month.