My Sister Has Invented an Excellent Euphemism

She doesn't want to go to Valhalla today? She's not in the mood to pillage and plunder? She's getting tired of rowing? She just wants to sit by the fire and await the return of Red Eric? She needs a Spring Tonic? She is pining for the fjords? She stepped on a duck?

Viking Ship! So, sometimes it's a good thing! Yes, a pretty good variable meme. I found out that the Henry or Winchester rifles, I forget which, were called The Repeating Volcano, firing at the astounding rate of a shot every three seconds. I will try that, shielding my eyes with my hand and peering off toward the horizon pointing and yelling just before I run toward the beach, "Viking Ship!"

Maybe it's just because I've got a real perverted mind (or maybe it's because we got another Annna update and I nearly pissed myself!) but, when I read that, I got the visual image of a girl who was not too particularly pleased that I took my pants off.

The girl would have said "Duck!" and lunged for her popcorn.

That ain't no Viking ship!

Just replace "Viking ship" with "penis" and read it again. Or, for even more sick fun, replace "Viking ship" with "Game of ass molestation" Excuse me while I collapse into giggles beneath my chair

That was so two years ago.

Hey, I'm STILL going through the archives... You guys have a lot of hate (or dreams I guees)

"Let me show you where the duck bit me!"

I'll be plenty glad when this duck meme wears out.

Being as it's getting late here and I'm about three-parts drunk, when I hit the link that Jonas supplied for some posting of a couple of years ago and saw Sean's byline; I was actually hoping for some news from the place where they have good beer&sausage, and the Vikings roam at will-- parking their Viking boats halfway up on the damn sidewalk if the mood strikes them.

Ahh Antwan, see the facist dictators of comments that sit here on this site, watch as they sit idly by, not adding anything to the discussion, not sending articles to the editor.

And watch as when someone does make a comment they search with their grubby little hands for some way to tear it down like a bill poster for the local hip-hop night posted over the mona lisa.

They are old and tired and bitter, take no heed, they are but fools with nothing better to do.

I chomp food with my mouth open at them.

Chomp this, chump!

uhhhh... I really have nothing better to do either. except make emoticons (*((()))*)

Well, you could get a Viking hat

Then Annna would notice me!

just how did you think that you would get under the radar?

if you told Annna that your name's Dwight, you'd have a better chance.

Madam,

Respectfully, there is nothing wrong with my viking ship. For years my long, hard vessel has been slipping in and out of the wet cracks of your southern harbor with no performance problems whatsoever. Just because for the last few weeks my seamen have jumping ship before they're supposed to, that doesn't mean there's anything wrong. My ship works absolutely perfectly. Now, my tendency towards to abusing sloppy sexual metaphors - well, my therapist, whom I only had a client/doctor lunch with and with with whom I get the freak on for clinical reasons ONLY, says that it's a phase that will pass once I've had a successful run at your fjords, or whatever.

This viking would like another chance.

Olaf

I struck up a stimulating conversation with a work mate today (do people still say "work mate"?) about vikings. I talked for almost twenty minutes before I realized that I was talking about pirates.

argh!

For euphemisms involving pirates, look no further than http://www.fatchicksinpartyhats.com/part7.shtml I'd give her a sea biscuit all night long!

Perhaps she means 'longboat'. You're walking around looking glum, huffing and puffing like a bored teenager and she's just not in the mood for it. So she says in her charming east London accent, 'I'm not in the mood for your long boat-race (face) ie viking ship today'.

Simple.

this is fuckin stupid so fuck this bitch lol