Failed Sexual Innuendoes

A friend of mine's sister had a girlfriend who married Richard Bender, and became, that's right! Mrs. Dick Bender--some names mitigate against fame.

I could never love a woman named Binswanger or Lipschitz. Without they had redeeming characteristics.

My girlfriend's last name has 17 letters and 15 of them are consonants...

Also, Yes, OH GOD YES, I must respond to absolutely every comment made about me in any way no matter how positive or negative. It's a sick medical condition.

Yeah, but could you kiss a Lipschitz?

is R. Buckminster Fuller in a pirate voice. Arr, Buckminster Fuller!

I think Diesel was the last name of the inventor of the diesel engine. I bet Vin Diesel would be mad if he knew his Hollywood name was also a real name. Also, he is an octoroon.

Reading this, I can't help remembering "Top Ten New Slogans for the NBA." My favorite: "Come see our Johnsons!"

Good stuff.

Stevie Wonder if Helen Reddy?

Q-Did you hear what happened to Helena Rubenstein?
A-Max Factor!

It's always been my contention that Mr. Diesel took his name after an encounter with the title to a Volkswagen Rabbit:
VIN=Vehicle Identification Number
Engine Type: Diesel

I just remembered that I had sort of a crush on Moonunit because of her name, which I thought sort of suggestive. Vin Diesel sounds like it might be some really bad cheap wine, too; like you could get at the corner store for two bucks a bottle.

In this case, "by all means contribute your own" means in the comments. Generally, things need submitting if they are more than a page or have a vital accompanying image file.

Grafix

AMERICA TERRORISM!

DEFEAT BEDROOM!

I am intrigued by the idea of a Defeat Bedroom. You win the duel, and your rival has to stay in his room for a few days and not come out until he can behave himself.

Isn't that the whole premise behind the penile system?

Thorry, he's a little thenthitive.