Zirealism

If form follows function, it sort of makes one wonder what the guy's function is...also, a classic example of projection: transferring a personal issue onto another person or thing. I once went to a Greek restaurant with a very large woman, and there were booths with the tables fixed to the floor. There wasn't enough clearance for the fat chick's belly, so she started beating the shit out of the table, like it was the table's fault. While the guy has the mirror, he can check his dick, too, which he probably hasn't seen in years. Where's his party hat?

izzat his bellybutton in the middle of his chest? Things are going seriously wrong.

If you somehow could have crammed a fart joke in there too, it would have been perfect.

Make the back of his neck look like a pack of hotdogs.

Fat people's hearts are lined with a thick golden layer of grease

(insert "heart of gold" joke here)

You know, the one by Hoagie Carmichael, "Yellow Man"
Eatin' rice all day
While the children play
Got to have a yellow woman
if your a yellow man

It would fit because Buddha was a fat guy, or maybe because of the Hoagie part, also the eating rice all day part would make you as big as a sumo wrestler.

It's a fucking nipple.

i think it's a lone tendril of chest hair

a hairy knipple!

usually, human fat looks pretty similar to chicken fat. the more carrots you eat, the richer the gold color. if you have low carotenoid intake, your adipose will tend to be paler, whiteish, like rat and pig fat. hey, anyone who plays with the stuff can tell ya...

Mexican chicken egg yolks are very pale, almost white; and they sell them by kilo weight rather than by the dozen. Once, there were big trucks full of marigolds, and they told me that they sell them to the gringos to make the egg yolks yellow, but Mexican chickens don't eat marigolds, and the roosters fight with eachother.

Yeah, but zirealism's comics are all black and white...

Yellow Journalism!

Or I'll work myself into another masturbatory laughing fit.

be sure to turn on the webcam!

nipple+surgical scar

A dead used black hooker!


wtf is yellow journalism...

I think it's a chunk of dinner from last night that missed his sleeveless undershirt and landed on his chest, and because his body starts forming a natural ledge just there it has stayed there through the night and into the morning. Madge didn't see it because she takes care to look at him as little as possible these days. He blames everything on her anyway. That's why she has taken to drink. The hard stuff. She has to hide it from him of course, he would drink it all up in a single night if he knew she had any and she can't afford to buy any more until next month. She has to make it last. It's the only thing that gets her through.

She thinks again about her husband's doctor who has ordered him to go on a diet. A beautiful young man with curling brown hair, she sat there listening to him explain to them that her husband was a time bomb, if he didn't change his diet he would have a heart attack. She wondered what it was like to be in his world, where husband and wife cared for eachother enough to not want them to die. She only started preparing these healthy meals for her husband because that was what he the doctor ordered, and she did what was expected of her. This was her lot in life. At each meal her husband looks at the food, scowls at her and calls it "rabbit food" as if it were all her fault. Now at least he has broken the scale and she will be able to get out of the house for a little while to go shopping for another one.

It's 10am, only 10 hours until she will allow herself to sneak into the bathroom and have a swallow of the vodka. It burns as it goes down but it's more effective that way. She's not drinking it for the pleasure of it, but to dull the pain. She finds a scale and returns home and starts on his lunch. It's 12:30, only 7 and a half more hours ...

did you know?