The Sex Addict's Car

This might seem like a contrived situation, but that it was contrived is no fault of my own; I would create more fantastic situations with interesting outcomes wherein the hero rides off into the sunset with fair Nell. The heroine has apparently already ridden off into the sunset, which adds to the angst, or humor, depending on one's point of view; and the anti-hero is indeed a pathetic sort of a Pagliacci veritably caterwauling about a chronic set of blue balls who has somehow along the way decided that he is addicted to love. What perhaps saves this exposition from being a simple desultory philippic is a vision presented by the offer of a used car cheap from the lust-addled sex addict himself.

It is likely my own fault for listening to this person with what might have been taken for interest and concern, but I tried to express amusement and incredulity. I have often been told that I laugh at inappropriate times although I laugh when something seems funny to me, a more appropriate time could not occur. While being told of this guy's woes at the end of the summer when his girlfriend said that she wanted to go to the beach with another couple, then it turned out that there was another guy along making it a two-couple weekend at the beach, I demonstrated concern and empathy, and said with all sincerity, "I feel your pain!"

There had been a rift developing between the Sex Addict and his live-in girlfriend for some time so it seems, which involved his perusing PORNOGRAPHIC MATERIALS. This more or less innocuous pastime aggravated his girlfriend, but I think that she used his penchant for prurient photos as a means of teasing him because the Sex Addict said that their relative sex drive was more or less equal, although there seemed to be some areas of interest for which they did not share an equal passion. Somehow, after the beach weekend where he was expected to sit on the sidelines while his girlfriend partied-down at the beach, the guy decided that he was a Sex Addict. Also of some interest is that his live-in girlfriend continued to live-in as if the weekend with the other guy was a matter of no import and less consequence, what remained her overwhelming concern was the Sex Addict's preoccupation with PORNOGRAPHY and SEX ITSELF.

Now, I am not claiming to be the most normal and well-adjusted person when it comes to sexual matters; however, I think that sex is sort of like Chinese food: an hour later, you're hungry again. Also, appetites fluctuate; I have experienced what I assume is the equivalent of "rut" in a bull moose, as well as times during which I would rather have a Philly Cheese Steak than a roll in the hay. But I cannot understand sex addiction. I asked the Sex Addict if had ever just done it until he was sated and did not want any more, and he replied in the affirmative. So, I asked him, well, when you want some, just do it, then get on with the rest of your life. Apparently, I am missing something here. I know it's like Chinese food, so what?

Among the lifestyle readjustments that the Sex Addict has found to be timely is the sale of his car. In fact, he offered me a rather good deal on said vehicle. I considered the purchase for a moment and then had to bite my tongue to keep from laughing at one of those inappropriate times, and just smiled and said that I'd think about it, which is the truth; I will think about it for a long time. I will wonder what went on in that Sex Addict car? There are sins that Armor-all cannot hide! What went on in that car? I could not drive around in that car, it would forever be "The Sexmobile."