By: Canadians [2003-03-20]

What Is It With You And Your Chatlogs?

TRUE STORY

image by Jonas


[16:31] *** Jonas has changed the topic on channel #thingsihate to detached and mildly panicked
[17:37] *** Signon by noisia detected
[17:40] *** noisia has changed the topic on channel #thingsihate to depitched and mildly picnicked
[17:42] <Jonas> what is it with you and your subversion?
[17:44] <noisia> what is it with you and your oversion?
[17:51] <Jonas> what is it wih you and your aversion?
[17:52] <noisia> what is it with you and your perversion?
[17:52] <Jonas> what is it with you and your conversion?
[17:52] <noisia> what is it with you and your recursion?
[17:56] <Jonas> what is it with you and your diversion?
[17:58] <noisia> what is it with you and your absorption?
[17:59] <Jonas> what is it with you and your endorphines?
[18:00] <noisia> what is it with you and your ribozymes?
[18:03] <Jonas> what is it with you and your ribosomes?
[18:04] <noisia> what is it with you and your ribosomal ribonucleic acid?
[18:07] <Jonas> what is it with you and your deoxyribonucleic acid?
[18:08] <noisia> what is it with you and your helicase?
[18:09] <Jonas> what is it with you and your mountain dew?
[18:10] <noisia> what is it with you and your mello yellow?
[18:13] <Jonas> what is it with you and your sierri mist? is it something like that?
[18:14] <noisia> mountain cool
[18:14] <noisia> what is it with you and your rc cola?
[18:15] <Jonas> what is it with you and your tab?
[18:18] <noisia> what is it with you and your fizzy sugar water?
[18:20] <Jonas> what is it with you and your sodium phosphate monobasic in purified water?
[18:22] <noisia> what is it with you and your one-up-manship?
[18:23] <Jonas> what is it with you and your battleship?
[18:23] <noisia> what is it with you and your naked battleship?
[18:24] <Jonas> what is it with you and your guys-only twister?
[18:25] <noisia> what is it with you and your brinkmanship? alternatively: what is it with you and your scooby-do costume?
[18:27] <Jonas> what is it with you and your hey arnold! mop'n'broom?
[18:28] <noisia> what is it with you and your hey arnold! backstreet boys special episode?
[18:30] <Jonas> what is it with you and your return of the jedi special edition?
[19:00] <noisia> what is it with you and eating a whole tub of ice cream?
[19:01] <Jonas> what is it with you and learning tenacious d songs when you have a history paper to write?
[19:02] <noisia> what is it with you and stalinism?
[19:02] <Jonas> what is it with you and stanielism?
[19:03] <noisia> what is it with you and goebbelsism?
[19:05] <Jonas> what is it with you and goblinoids?
[19:05] <noisia> what is it with you and graboids?
[19:07] <Jonas> what is it with you and gastronomy?
[19:07] <noisia> what is it with you and gastrology?
[19:08] <Jonas> what is it with you and gasteroids?
[19:08] <noisia> what is it with you and gaster glaster?
[19:08] <Jonas> what is with you and math blaster?
[19:09] <noisia> what is it with you and oregon trail?
[19:12] <Jonas> what is it with you and the northwest passage?
[19:13] <noisia> what is it with you and captain cook?
[19:13] <Jonas> what is it with you and sara lee? (really)
[19:13] <noisia> what is it with you and georgia lee?
[19:15] <Jonas> what is it with you and the chi of lee?
[19:15] <noisia> what is it with you and chai tea?
[19:15] <Jonas> what is it with you and chandler?
[19:16] <noisia> what is it with you and chaucer?
[19:16] <Jonas> what is it with you and chowder?
[19:16] *** jana has joined channel #thingsihate
[19:16] <noisia> what is it with you and chundering?
[19:17] <Jonas> what is it with you and chocolat, starring johnny depp?
[19:17] <noisia> what is it with you and dead man, starring johnny depp?
[19:17] <Jonas> what is it with you and edward scissorhands, starring johnny depp?
[19:17] <noisia> what is it with you and johnny depp, starring johnny depp?
[19:18] <Jonas> what is it with you and sniping johnny depp?
[19:18] <noisia> what is it with you and diaper snipering?
[19:18] <Jonas> what is it with you and dustbowl swiffering?
[19:19] <noisia> what is it with you and "I'll write about how much you hate Winnamp Jonas!" -Antwan?
[19:21] <Jonas> what is it with you and antwan and winnnamp and possibly antwan's annna-fantasy masturbation sessions?
[19:22] <noisia> what is it with you and winnap?
[19:23] <Jonas> what is it with you and winamm?
[19:23] <noisia> what is it with you and surinam?
[19:23] <Jonas> what is it with you and the soudan?
[19:24] <noisia> what is it with you and bedouins?
[19:24] <Jonas> what is it with you and stella dubois?
[19:25] <noisia> what is it with you and patrice rushen?
[19:26] <Jonas> what is it with you and calista flockhart?
[19:26] <noisia> what is it with you and sarah michelle gellar?
[19:26] <Jonas> what is it with you and joseph heller?
[19:27] <noisia> what is it with you and jd salinger?
[19:28] <Jonas> what is it with you and aj mclean?
[19:28] <noisia> what is it with you and rl stien?
[19:28] <Jonas> what is it with you and christopher pike?
[19:28] <noisia> what is it with you and ra salvatore?
[19:29] <Jonas> what is it with you and gary gygax?
[19:29] <noisia> what is it with you and gary sinise?
[19:30] <Jonas> what is it with you and old navy fleece?
[19:30] <noisia> what is it with you and that owl glassesed crone?
[19:31] <Jonas> qu'est-ce que c'est avec toi et crme glace (i mean an ice cream cone)?
[19:32] <noisia> qu'est-ce que c'est avec toi et le pain perdu?
[19:34] <Jonas> qu'est-ce que c'est avec toi et ta musique-ou bruit?
[19:36] <noisia> qu es contigo y pasteles?
[19:38] <Jonas> what is it with you and foreign languages?
[19:38] <noisia> what is it with you and the funky screw?
[19:39] <Jonas> what is it with you and funky cold modena?
[19:42] <noisia> what is it with you and jumping back (kiss yourself)?
[19:43] <Jonas> what is it with you and letting your backbone slide?
[19:43] <noisia> what is it with you and the glide in your stride and the cut in your strut?
[19:43] *** biscuit has joined channel #thingsihate
[19:46] <Jonas> what is it with you and your vibe thats too vibealiscious for me babe?
[19:46] <noisia> what is it with you and the electric slide?
[19:47] <Jonas> what is it with you and rockin down to electric avenue?
[19:47] <noisia> what is it with you and doing the time warp again (fag)?
[19:48] <biscuit> you got that camarillo brillo?
[19:48] <Jonas> aw fuck you ruined the whole thing
[19:48] <noisia> it's gone
[19:48] <Jonas> completely lost
[19:48] <noisia> two hours almost on the dot
[19:49] <Jonas> two hours and six minutes
[19:49] <noisia> that's why i said almost
[19:49] <Jonas> i was just getting my precision on
[19:49] <noisia> getting your swerve on
[19:50] <Jonas> i'm saving this log
[19:50] <noisia> send it to staniel for a content dry day
[19:50] <biscuit> what is it with you and these logs?
[19:50] <noisia> don't try to bring it back
here is laughter: ha ha ha [2003-03-20 00:43:00] casey
It is funny but this does not thin its poignancy and relevance to current #thingsihate events.
It had to be done! [2003-03-20 01:54:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
See? I didn't say "what is it with?!" I should have recognized a bit of performance art, and politely observed. But it was like watching someone setting-up dominoes, I couldn't help myself.
Canada.com [2003-03-20 08:27:00] Jonas
That's CanadaTM, a wholly-owned subsidiary of the CanWest Global Communication Corporation. I might suggest as well An American's Guide to Canada. I might, but... you know.

Actually, Biscuit, I must secretly thank you or who knows: noisia and I could still have been at it to this very day.
As I suspected... [2003-03-20 08:43:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
It did occur to me that there was an aspect of facination that was akin to autohypnosis which had induced a deep trance marked by a litany of rythymically cadenced responses that was verily sucking you deeper into the vortex of verisimilitude.
An honest question [2003-03-20 08:51:00] posthumous
what is it with noisia taking half an hour to come up with "tub of ice cream"?
[2003-03-20 11:21:00] noisia
either i was eating a whole tub of ice cream (which i do not recall doing) or i had a narcoleptic attack.
false hope [2003-03-20 12:02:00] posthumous
I bet as that half hour was drawing to a close, Jonas felt as though he would finally be free of the madness, that somehow his crack about jedi special edition had cut you to the quick. He may even have worried for a while about some tragic childhood association you had with star wars dvd's. Yea, verily he may have asked himself the same question with a new intensity:

What is it with noisia and his return of the jedi special edition? No, really?
Godot Action Logs [2003-03-20 14:33:00] So Much For London
Was this log written by Sam Shepard?

The utter pointlessness of brinksmanship in the fact-neutral and desolate landscape of IRC leaves me strangely elated.
posthumous [2003-03-20 16:41:00] Jonas
I might've thought that, but I'm not that perceptive. I was probably watching The Simpsons.

To tell the truth, I didn't know what the word "brinksmanship" meant until it occured to me to look it up after reading SMFL's comment. Had I known then what I knew now, would I have continued after 18:25? Probably... noisia's no coward. Yes, "mop'n'broom" is supposed to rhyme with "costume".

Boy, that picture is rad.
This reminds me [2003-03-20 19:43:00] Andre Young, M.D.
of a game i used to play with my friend that was called "Danny loves..." You see, there is this guy, Danny Coyne, who I know, but you dont't. Anyway my friend and I began to create humorous sentences beginning with the words "Danny loves." We would go back and forth creating Danny loves sentences trying to best eachother. Some of my favorites include

- Danny loves telling girls he wrote the human sexuality article in the Encyclopedia Britannica.

- Danny loves shouting "Vagina!" at WNBA games.

- Danny loves wearing vampire fangs while he recieves the eucharist.

- Danny loves referring to the phonebook as "the menu."

- Danny loves setting off CFC grenades instead of tear gas to break up environmentalist rallies.







Trout Fishing [2003-03-21 02:51:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
I hope that Danny loves getting punched in the trout.
[2003-03-22 09:53:00] Andre Young, M.D.
What's a camarillo brillo?
Frank Zappa [2003-03-22 10:23:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
She had that Camarillo brillo
Flamin' out along her head,
I mean her Mendocino bean-o
By where some bugs had made it red

She ruled the Toads of the Short Forest
And every newt in Idaho
And every cricket who had chorused
By the bush in Buffalo

She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
I couldn't come in right then . . . )

And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room

Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She stripped away
Her rancid poncho
An' laid out naked by the door
We did it till we were un-concho
An' it was useless any more

She had a snake for a pet
And an amulet
And she was breeding a dwarf
But she wasn't done yet
She had gray-green skin
A doll with a pin
I told her she was awright
But I couldn't come in
(actually, I was very busy then)

And so she wandered
Through the door-way
Just like a shadow from the tomb
She said her stereo was four-way
An' I'd just love it in her room

Well, I was born
To have adventure
So I just followed up the steps
Right past her fuming incense stencher
To where she hung her castanets

She said she was
A Magic Mama
And she could throw a mean Tarot
And carried on without a comma
That she was someone I should know

Wish you hadn't asked [2003-03-22 10:49:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Eh, wot?
Maybe I do [2003-03-22 19:45:00] posthumous
I know somebody named Dan Coyne.
Frank Zappa is an idiot! [2003-03-23 19:06:00] Fool Mortal
Doesn't he know dwarves reproduce via spores? They are produced in the nasal cavity, and when they mature (which takes roughly two hundred years), their heads split open and then spray tiny seeds of dwarfdom in a two-mile radius. Any dwarf which is caught in this small storm of dwarvish powder-jizz produces several baby dwarves underneath their beards, which drop off after a year.

Fool.
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