By: noisia [2003-04-15]

Pessimism

Everyone called him Tom now, because they were lazy and he didnt care

The rain smashed down against the hood of his 56 Bel Air like a hundred angry hooves. It seeped and dribbled through the dirty cracks in the windshield, puddling on the dash and running down into the glove compartment, doubtlessly soaking his notebook with the bookies numbers in it. He was trying fruitlessly to get the engine to turn over but it refused to budge, like the line up to the dirty movie theater. Across the street a pharmacys neon tubes hummed and burned harsh blue holes into the night, some girl stood behind the counter in a dove white outfit. On the fifteenth attempt to get the car started (a steady flow of swearing didnt seem to motivate it any) he decided to let this sleeping dog lie and pulled out his beaten leather wallet to see how much he had left after three days of constant boozing. There his face stared back at him from the drivers license.

Thomas Brennan it read, reminding him of mother when she had the wooden spoon ready for him. Everyone called him Tom now, because they were lazy and he didnt care. They could have called him Sally and hed have responded. Brennan opened the wallet further and imagined moths flying out. Lincolns green face was crumpled and flattened and crumpled and flattened again inside, couched in lint and grit. That assassinated bastard would have to last till Friday evening when he could pawn his gun, which made three more nights of scraping the barrel, maybe soaking bread in kerosene.

Things needed to be done, important things, like eating. This became uncomfortably clear when Brennans stomach twisted as if it were caught between a subway car and the platform. The last solid thing that had entered his stomach was a burned and greasy piece of toast with some rancid butter smeared over it yesterday afternoon.

The pharmacys open sign seemed to glow brighter as he glanced over to it. He threw his weight against the decrepit cars door to force it open, it had a tendency to jam and this had become a part of the routine for getting out, regardless as to whether it truly required the violent action. Immediately he stepped into a deep pool of water and soaked his worn leather shoes. They were a gift from one of his ex-wives back when he was respectable. She was either dead or happy now. The water penetrated the soft leather and quickly into thin socks, sending twinges through his body. He thought of how you were never supposed to have wet feet because it would make you catch cold, and how at this point that would have been a nice excuse to stay in bed all day. Brennan stumbled across the slick street and into the pharmacy.

The dark confines of the Bel Air made it seem like a beacon of cleanliness and warmth but now once the bell on the door had cracked its tinkling ring into his aching head the pharmacy took on a new guise of a run down greasy spoon with dust and dirt rounding out the corners. The beautiful buxom waitress had aged and weathered. Her breasts sagged along with the acne-scarred skin under her eyes. Hard shadows fell like drop cloths from the fluorescent lights, accentuating each uncomfortable crease. He sat himself down on one of the hard vinyl stools, choosing the least stained and torn one, it rocked to near dangerous angles but he managed to stay balanced.

The waitress listlessly pulled her bloodshot eyes over towards him in a gesture of questioning and irritation. He ordered a cup of coffee with sugar and cream (he always meant to order black coffee, as it would make him seem tougher, but he found it bitter and he always forgot) and a bowl of cream of mushroom soup. Brennan slid a yellowing tabloid from the pile at the side of the counter and idly flipped through the scandals and rapes. After an expectedly long time the coffee and soup arrived. He scolded himself for ordering a soup that was so easy to hide bodily fluids in, but ate quickly nonetheless. Both the coffee and the soup were tepid at best, cold in patches; he had no room for tips. Soon the cup and bowl were empty, his bladder and stomach at least somewhat filled. The five didnt net him as much change as hed have liked, the broad had probably stolen a tip for herself.

Too late now to complain, he thought. Brennan collected his change and creaked out of the diner. He had barely made his way outside when his stomach was again seized by cramps, this time a hundred times worse. He clutched at his gut. He forgot that the curb dropped down and misjudged his step. He stumbled and tripped into the gutter, which was filling up with garbage and water. The water washed over him and he vomited and fell asleep.
Yay!! Raise the Bar(f)! [2003-04-15 00:41:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
There is a series of collections called the New American Review that has stories of this quality, I used to get them all of the time but for some reason got out of the habit; I think that I thought that they stopped publishing these collections of about thirty new short stories. I see that there are still some NAR's that I haven't read, so tomorrow it's off to Borders.
The story takes place in [2003-04-15 00:52:00] DeWalt_Russ
what can only be the 1960s or early '70s, when Bel Airs were not hot collector's items, and when pharmacies still existed outside of drug stores and supermarkets. Excellent commentary, then, on a culture exhausting its youthful promise and "forgetting that the curb dropped down," coming to rest, ultimately, in the accumulating refuse of a heedless and savage past.
Pharmacy [2003-04-15 01:24:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
But what happened in the pharmacy?
forget that biscuit... [2003-04-15 04:43:00] Antwan
I'm more worried about what: "He scolded himself for ordering a soup that was so easy to hide bodily fluids in" means. It's not like he was going to piss in it and hope the acne-ridden waitress didn't notice right? Right?
Yes [2003-04-15 07:47:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
There's a little ambiguity, which is why I was interested in the chemists. So, tell me exactly, without a doubt, why he was of a sudden stricken with stomach cramps and fell unconscious. SOP would be to eliminate possibilities. Do you assume natual causes, or murther moste fowle? Eh, Watson? Just the end of a rake's progress, or was the soup made with some bad 'shrooms? The ambiguity is OK, I can live without closure about Tom's demise.
In response to Antwan... [2003-04-15 09:09:00] Jane
He assumes that if a waiter or cook can fuck with food, they will, in a Tyler Durden-esque fashion...
Maybe... [2003-04-15 09:55:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
maybe he's just drunk, I dunno. No big mystery there. Bull dykes and gutter snipes.
You're just lucky... [2003-04-15 14:50:00] Antwan
The great Antwan is pleased. Now, away to the Antwan-cave (just like the bat cave but 10X cooler) to write my next story! Hey... I think that I got a Q-tip stuck in my belly button...
sickness [2003-04-15 14:56:00] noisia
it's a combination of poorly stored/prepared soup and the fragile state his GI tract has been in leading up to the soup. i guess. but i wouldn't rule out stomach parasites, worms, cancer, infections, flu, or psychosomatic reaction to his fear that the cook beat off in his soup (or even a physical reaction to the cook's semen. who knows?).
Wow! [2003-04-15 15:59:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
In any event, it's a good story! Maybe you could write a chapter of Knifekitten, too! But I like this sort of seemy side of life. I went looking for bull dykes and gutter hypes and found what I think is an interesting Steven King story written a la Raymond Chandler about a blind newsboy. X. Contos Umney's Last Case, I think it is.
Does no one care? [2003-04-15 17:46:00] Antwan
That I'm an "outie"?

On a "related" topic, what a strange plot twist. Where were the faeries?
Curiosity intoxicated the cat [2003-04-15 18:54:00] Vicarious
Most enjoyable.

I do like the "seed".
or are they the same? [2003-04-15 18:55:00] casey
I like this story. When I read it I think "noisia" rather than "pessimism." It reeks of you but I wonder if I would think that if I didn't know you wrote it.
Whoa [2003-04-15 19:31:00] Andrewsarchus
They have places like that pharmy all around my town. And people passing out, choking on their on vomit, and swallowing possible body fluids.

Ah... nostalgia.

I like it
test [2003-04-16 05:53:00] test
test
"She was either dead or happy now." [2003-04-16 22:20:00] Jonas
That was my favourite line. Good story, noisia.
Zirealism [2003-04-17 09:02:00] Eightball
That shit is fuckin tight! You should write more of that phat ass shit!
[2003-04-17 11:17:00] ME
WHAT IS THIS? IS THIS YOU, SMEPE?
Outie [2003-04-17 13:38:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Antwan, I'd like to know how in the hell you got a Q-tip stuck in your bellybutton if you have an outie.
negative [2003-04-17 16:56:00] SMEPE
this was not written by me, Stinky. I'm in the archives under "This is my Moment."
However, this is a neat piece. I felt like taking a shower after reading it, the atmosphere was so well done.
Chefs who mess with food? [2003-04-17 21:12:00] Zane
www.ireallyhatethat.com had some good entries on that one, can't remember what page tho.
these are a few [2003-04-18 06:42:00] posthumous
my favorite thing is how the pharmacy turns into a diner with no attempt at explanation. It's totally Max Ernst.
Wallet [2003-04-18 09:27:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Ha! I got a wallet, you rub it and it turns into a suitcase!
P.I.S.S [2003-04-18 10:11:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Post Iraq Stress Syndrome
Pharmacy [2003-04-18 14:38:00] Jonas
Once, I was driving down my street and I turned into my driveway.
Ack! [2003-04-18 15:06:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Call me a taxi!
Hey!!!!!!!! [2003-04-18 16:48:00] Antwan
Were just 72 SHORT hours away from a new zirealism!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Oh god, I think I'm gonna cream my pants. Again.
Basketball [2003-04-19 11:53:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Do you dribble before you shoot?
Actually... [2003-04-19 18:29:00] Antwan
I haven't been able to get the damn lazy thing up in ages.
Silver Dollar [2003-04-19 18:46:00] Hieronymous Biscuit
Well,I laugh at inappropriate times, also I get boners at random times, appropriate and inappropriate times. One of my favorite tricks is to get a boner while I'm drinking at the bar and balance a silver dollar on the end. Then when the bartender brings a drink, I flip the silver dollar up on the counter. The bartender is OK with that, she sells four-foot long salamis, and can twirl a salami which is something to see; I've given her five bucks just to watch her twirl a salami.
uh [2003-04-21 16:32:00] Gundo
I am bemused by the pharmacy/diner transformation, but even more so by the coffee and soup somehow directly filling Tom's bladder.
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