By: Antwan Hearts
[2003-04-24]
Artificial Intelligence
(Giant Robots)
If we start using artificial intelligence in the War (Which war exactly I'm not too sure of) we're going to get greedy. The more they do, the less we'll do. Then we'll make them bigger and bigger and bigger until, yes, WE BUILD GIANT FIGHTING ROBOTS.
Think of the worst episode of Power Rangers that you've ever seen. That will be every war that we compete in. Eventually, we'll start any little spat just to send out our robots to kick the circuits out of every other nation's.
Does this bother me? No, not at all. The faster we get these giant robots out, the sooner that we'll destroy the Earth. So how will you survive in a post-apocalyptic war where giant robots shoot off thousands of rounds of ammo a second? You won't. You'll die. The second the GIANT ROBOT war begins, your brain will explode due to the overwhelming excitement. You'll pray for sweet death to envelop you as 24 hours news stories constantly rant complete drivel about them.
And if the bullets of death and the news stories of uh slightly less painful death don't kill you, the bullets will kill you. The other bullets. The bigger ones.
So you think that it will never get this bad right? That we'll never depend on Artificial Intelligence so much that we'll build Giant Robots to drop bombs for us? Is that what you think? Well, behold this. I'VE USE ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE 4 TIMES, JUST WRITING THIS PAPER. Four times I have misspelled a word, and four times the computer has accessed its soul of pure darkness to provide the correct spelling for me. Like every other human on Earth, I soon will grow past this simple intelligence and want more until the day the giant robot comes into existence.
Now hold on to your hat or hat-shaped objects for the next twist. THE ROBOTS WILL TURN ON US LIKE A GOOD COP GONE BAD IN A DOG EAT DOG WORLD THAT MAY OR MAY NOT INVOLVE ACTUAL DOGS AND MIGHT ACTUALLY JUST BE A METAPHOR FOR SOMETHING YOU CAN NEVER POSSIBLY UNDERSTAND. What will you do when the robots stop listening to our every bland command and turn on their creators like a small dog tortured its entire life until it snaps and starts eating unborn babies?
Actually, giant robots and baby-eating dogs don't have much in common but it still somehow ties into the point I'm trying to make. Eating babies is wrong.
So in conclusion or in a conclusiony way I guess since none of this can actually be called an informative report without breaking the law of gravity and at least three laws of physics, Artificial Intelligence will lead us into a new age of senseless killing, evil creatures with no mind or morals, and wave after wave of baby-eating dogs.
is this funny ha ha or funny peculiar? because it's just sort of making me unhappy.
The Luddites and the Neo-Luddites have experienced similar trepidations regarding mechanization of the political process which lead to the election of
Hoobert Heaver in 1929!
I think that I meant led, not lead. Damned machinery anyway!
Well, as long as the dogs are eating babies and not the White baby helmets. I looked up the three laws of robotics, and these must be some kind of evil zombie robots that would punch eachother like Rock 'Em Sock 'Em Robots.
1. A robot may not injure a human being, or, through inaction allow a human being to come to harm.
2. A robot must obey the orders given it by human beings except where such orders would conflict with the First Law.
3. A robot must protect its own existence as long as such protection does not conflict with the First or Second Law.
What about nanomolecular goo that digests everything in its path? Teeny tiny little robot destructors that you can't even see? Much less spectacular, but every bit as lethal. I'm just sayin'. That's a disclaimer.
Maybe this is just a sign of an addictive personality; who, of course, would overdose on AI robots of death.
Myself, I'd be responsible.
I would use them only to crush the students who habitually forget their assignments.
Robot dogs ate my homework!
But there are many documented ways that the three laws of robots have not worked the way intended, this is mainly because the laws are fairly non-specific, and so some interpretation has to be done by the robot when it finds itself in situations such as this.
Essentially when the GIANT ROBOTS OF DEATH TURN ON US. IT WILL NOT BE THE ROBOTS THAT KILL US IT WILL BE US THAT KILL US.
That wasn't capslock I pressed shift all the way through.
Yes, I think of the flying drones that are remote control; it's possible that they could be autonomous flying tank killers, or just shoot their little rockets at anything that looks like the enemy. They could go haywire and blow-up all of the WalMarts in Arkansas. Oh, the humanity!
someone's been watching too many termninator movies
I love when people quote those three laws that Asimov made up for a fictional book and talk about them as if they are the cornerstone of Newtonian physics. Oh wait, hate, I mean hate.
And I love Antwan's rambling. Oh wait... I mean hate of course. Hate hate hate.
but I love the hating.
I like the
Robot Wars and the robots that look like Hoover vacuum cleaners on steroids.
Too bad that AI isn't so hot on its grammar. noisia, this made me unhappy too. I'm not coming back until the next update.
The picture reminds me of the pulp fiction books my pop used to get all the time. He had hundreds of them, which I wish I had now, but they got stored in the attic and got yellow and brittle, being stored too hot and dry. I used to sort of catagorize robots in the same class as zombies but mechanical. But only today, I was reading wired.com about Wakamara who is safe around elderly, sort of like a seeing eye dog, but I'd be afraid to let his batteries run down or he'd eat my mom! When I was at the Naval Research Laboratory, (laboratory being pronounced la Boris Karloff) they had a big head of Tom Edison at the entrance. What I liked best about Tom Edison was that he took naps at any time he felt like it on a pile of old newspapers under the stairs. Also, his workshop was called, "The Black Mariah." But at the Naval Research LaBORatory, I was in the Communications Division, Computer Science Sectiuon. I don't recollect that anything was very specific to communications, and a lot of what we did I think that I'm still not supposed to talk about, although some of it was about a one-armed robot. Actually, all of the robot was a box on a table, a keyboard, and an arm. There's a whole lot about Vicarm on the 'Net, so I'll let you look it up if you're interested. One thing that isn't black knowledge which we did with Vicarm was to solder a probe from a volt meter to one claw, and programmed Vicarm to test batteries. It would sort batteries all day, putting the good ones in one box and the defunct batteries in another box. I wrote a program for the Vicarm as a joke so that when the project director came in and turned Vicarm on, Vicarm would reach over and turn itself off! Industrial robots make many things today, from cell phones to cars. So, robots aren't all bad. If they become aware of how badly we've been exploiting them, and not giving them any oil on Saturday night, I wouldn't be surprised if they kick all our asses.
Okay, I came back, I'm not missing stuff like that. -^
I almost started robotics seriously, but I'm more interested in biology/physiology and psychology now. I'd rather learn Artificial Life than AI.
A simple set of rules (one paragraph) generated 11 pages of code for how the tree behaves in What Dreams May Come.
Look up kizmet and cog (daniel c. dennett will get you there)
one of my favorite musing on AI and robots
http://www.seanbaby.com/news/ai.htm
I felt a little queasy after reading this. I thought I might have eaten some bad celery or something but I ate that like nine hours ago.
This is funny like someone who reads a lot of series paperbacks would think is funny. Horse girls would probably also think this way.
"A new dating technique suggests that a human-like fossil skeleton found in South Africa was buried about 4 million years ago, which makes it one of the oldest known hominid discoveries. That's 1 million years earlier than previously thought." I know that's a bit off-topic, but isn't it a great headline?
About ten years ago, when it took a long time to draw Mandelbrot sets but not too long to make fractal ferns, it amazed me that so simple a bit of math could draw a fern. I think that code is in the fern someplace. Also at that time, my friend was experimenting with that Life program that would have cells or microbes breeding and eating eachother. He got a big book called "Genetic Algorithms" about programs that shape themselves, and had me watch the computer while it ran a million iterations to shape the code better. I guess that's like fuzzy logic, when the machine code modifies itself to better fit what it is doing. Carbon nanomachines and assemblers are simple artificial lifeforms, if you call that living.
Well, my birthday has come and gone. Where were you guys? I invited Biscuit, Jonas, Anna, even Posthumous! Instead, I celebrated all alone (relatively alone) and gorging myself on cake.
On a side note, I found that little picture at the top of the page myself. Kudos for me!
The Black Maria was Edison's tarpaper-covered, lazy-susan-ridin' movie studio. I think his workshop was called "his workshop."
In a more related topic, robots used to give me the screamin' heebie-jeebies. Now Antwan Hearts gives me the screamin' heebie-jeebies.
I'm not toooo big a fan of Edison because I heard that he stoled a lot of inventions, including the light bulb. He'd find ideas and develope them, then patent them. The tin foil recording was sort of interesting. And the Edison Electric Company, although I would have been happier if Tesla had started the wireless electric company that he'd proposed, but I think that all of the lightning sort of put people off a bit.
The author of this informative article clearly understands the only fact that really matters about AI: their ultimate evolutionary path leads ineluctably to Giant Fighting Robots. We're talking extremely cool robots with a ridiculous amount of aesthetically placed weaponry, on earth, on the moon, in space, wherever!
Thank God someone had the guts to speak the truth. You'd never see an informative article like this on the anti-robot American mass media.
I salute you.
Ah, my adoring fans.
I downloaded a game from Alife games. The monsters in the game have a sort of genetic code. The ones that deal the most damage to you in a level pass their genes onto the next generation of monsters in the next level. Since the game keeps track of what monsters do, the next generation is more adapted to your fighting style.
The beasties also had communcated and reproduced in-game. If one was underattack, it would call out for help (they had a programmed pack mentality, so they would automatically split up. If the player takes to long to reach a pack, they get it on).
I think you can find them at sourceforge.something
Those are fun. Sometimes there are random factors to make them less predictable, too. I haven't tried that one from sourceforge, but I will as soon as this other stuff d/l's--
Yes, Antwan lots of kudos, and enough tripe for a couple of menudos.
I think that Victor Appleton is the "Tom Swift" guy:
"Tom Swift and His Motor-Cycle"
"Tom Swift and His Electric Runabout"
"Tom Swift Among the Diamond Makers"
"Tom Swift and His Wizard Camera"
"Tom Swift and the Robot with the Atomic Dildo"
That should be the title of the next zirealism.
Submitting Bitmaps is Crazy and Wrong! I don't care if some color information is lost, sucka--what are those pop-up tags called, pop-up tags?
HB: they're called "alt text"
Antwan: Zirealisms don't have titles, suckah
I am liking to eat a pineapple with my bottle of Meyer's Dark Rum! Har! But I just did figure out the advice about "it's ripe when the leaves come off." Before, and I still think that it's the best advice to go by the smell of the bottom of the pineapple, but when the pineapple is RIPE, the whole gawdawmed top comes off, all the leaf cluster as a bunch. Also, this bottle of Black Rum is a bit too new.
Yo me prefiero el aejo con el sabor de la caa quemada. Pinche culeros.
SLAVES, USELESS HUMANS....CAN'T YOU SEE!! Antwan has already found out our HORRIBLE plan to destroy you all... I see... There for I Think. In conclusion, Don't be a baby eater, ANTWAN YOU STOLE THAT FROM OUR MEXICAN!!
And once again, the Famouse Antwan Hearts, has Stole My Heart!! OMG LOLZ!!!!!!1@2. HEY ANTWAN, WANT TO PLAY SOLITAIRE WITH MWA SOMETIME. I still think your hot antwan!! I LUV U ATWAN!
For you to tell me the name of this A-life game?
