Satan's "Biography"

(V.O - shown over a picture of Satan) Satan. Beelzebub. Old Scratch. Lucifer. The Devil. We all know him, or know of him. Or at least we think we do. Tonight, my friends, we will take you on a journey into the enigma's mind.

Pictures are shown of Satan developing from a baby until he's about five years old as this voice over goes on.

(V.O) It all started a little over 2000 years ago. A boy, Lucifer was born, to Linda and Carl Stamper, people of modest means. Lucifer was raised along with his five siblings, and it wasn't until he reached about five that people started to notice he was...different.

April DeMarco - Lucifer's Babysitter: His brothers and sisters were all so normal, I mean, I couldn't believe he'd be that strange. It wasn't until I started hearing the sounds coming from the basement I started to suspect him of not being absolutely normal. But when I saw what was down there...ah...I can't believe it to this day. It was some sort of medieval torture arena, that he handicrafted himself....that poor postman...

(V.O. over picture of a elementary school) It was about now when Lucifer earned his nickname of the "Angel of Death". It unfortunately plagues him to this day. An often-taunted little boy, his only choice was to strike back, and he did...

Helen Sainte-Marie - Lucifer's Fifth Grade Teacher: Now, I'm not saying anything bad about the Stampers. They're a good, God-fearing family. It was only that boy. That awful little boy. Four children in my class combusted that year. Four! A few unpleasant words directed towards Lucifer and he would snap! You'd end up with a tail, or a face of warts. And he gave no second chances. Like I said, four children combusted that year.

(V.O over an acne-faced Lucifer) It was high school that was the worst. Young Lucifer dropped out in the tenth grade, to pursue a life of evil. It was soon after leaving school he created something we all know and fear. Hell.

Ben Affleck - Hell's Gatesman: Really, the guy gets a bad rap. I mean, a little torture here and there, what he's really doing is helping everyone out. The people that are in here, they mainly earned it. I mean Hitler, Mussolini, John Denver...they've all tortured us enough!

(V.O over yet another picture of Satan) Yet, some say, all Satan really wanted was love. Would he have turned out this way with a few caring words from his mother? Perhaps a girlfriend in school? One can only wonder.

Anne Expert - Satan's Psychiatrist: From what I've seen from our few sessions together, he truly just needed more love and attention. It can easily be seen through all his actions, including the construction of hell. I mean, red as your color theme? Hello, who do you think you're trying to kid here?

Picture of Satan standing proudly in front of the gates of hell.

(V.O over Satan's headshot) But maybe it wasn't love. Maybe it was Beelzebub's longtime love of acting that got him down.

Richard Erikson - Old Scratch's Acting Coach: This was one talented guy, I tell you. People just can't get past the image of "Satan" in their heads. He shows up for auditions, gets laughed right out of there. People are expecting horns, a cape, the whole works. It just wasn't like that with Lucy. He was sensitive, he didn't like getting turned down like that. Acting may not have been the right choice for him, but I challenge you to hear his "Glass Menagerie" monologue and not shed a single tear. It's impossible!

(V.O) Some people, however, don't see the sensitive, tortured soul Satan.

Johnny Tyson - Valet/Aspiring Bartender: From what I saw, this guy was a real prick. I mean, tossing his keys at me, chewing gum in his ashtray. Not exactly the best kind of customer I get around these parts, okay? And buddy, ninety-seven cents isn't a tip, it's an insult.

(V.O over ever-changing pictures of Satan) So who is this mysterious devil? What makes him tick? Will anyone ever know, or are we destined to not know until we meet him ourselves, in his own dark underworld. I for one do not know. I'm Nate Diablo, for Biography.
(brief pause)

And be sure to tune in tomorrow for an in depth look on everyone's favourite "Urban Cowboy," "Welcome Back Kotter" star John Travolta.

Devil's Maniacal Laughter here!

END!